I am moving to the suburbs. What do I need to know?

[Strongside]

So my wife and I are urban yuppies and have lived in some sort of urban core / downtown for over 10 years now. We have just purchased a very nice home in Lenexa, KS and are leaving our loft in the River Market for a bigger yard (or just a yard, period), more square footage, and more rare police sirens and gunshots. We are anticipating children in the next few years, which is the main reason for our move.

What do I need to know? How do I make my grass look good? What do I need to do to my wardrobe so that I fit in with all of the other dads? What is the best lawnmower? What's the best brand of pool table? What do I do when I've had too much to drink and can't drive home? What time do I need to stop being loud on my deck and go to bed? Where can I get a legit beard trim and haircut by a real barber? Where is the best place to get a latte? How do I handle my road rage during a long commute?

Thanks in advance, old white dudes.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

Maybe so. I originally would have been ok with never having children but lately I've been wanting them.

I don't think most people ever regret having children in the long run but they definitely do regret not having them. I think it's something I have to do.

I bet some people regret having children. Society just doesn't let them say that.

But I get the regret about not having children. Most of my peers now have launched their children and now are starting to have grandchildren, and it seems like that might be a nice situation if none of them are deadbeats. I can see maybe when I'm 80 that I might think, "It would be nice to have Thanksgiving with my hypothetical attractive and non-incarcerated children and grandchildren."

[Donger]

Sure, most selfish people shouldn't have kids.

[tooge]

Originally Posted by Strongside

Sat out on the deck yesterday for a while during inspections.

Listened to the leaves rustle, birds chirping, wind chimes rattling.

Not once did I hear a car horn, a couple yelling, my downstairs neighbor's dog barking, or a gun shot. Not once did a homeless guy approach me and ask for money because he lives in Liberty and his friend dropped him off and he needs bus fare to get home, but really just needs to score a pint of Wild Turkey or a spot of crack. Not once did someone puke on my sidewalk. My car was not stolen, vandalized or broken into, all of which have happened multiple times in my current apartment.

I'm gonna love this shit. **** you guys.

Easy man, I was only gonna ask you for $10

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I bet some people regret having children. Society just doesn't let them say that."

You know, I'm sure this is absolutely true, particularly if your child turns out to be a deadbeat.

I'm at the age now where a lot of females I know had children young and are now single mothers in their mid-20s. None will say they regret having children but that they wish they'd have waited or found the right man first. That's just a socially acceptable way of saying they wish they didn't have a kid at the moment, but in 20 years they might be empty nesters and then, I'm sure, they won't regret it so much.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Donger

Sure, most selfish people shouldn't have kids.

I'm proud of my self-awareness in that area.

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I've been having some legitimate baby fever lately.

It really is a shame that kids are so expensive and the best time, biologically, to have them is while you're young but finances at that time generally don't permit it.

Meh, we were broke as **** when we had our son. Didn't matter though because we were tied down with him and couldn't do shit anyway. Now he's 21 and pretty much out of our hair and we have both the disposable income and time to do whatever we want and I couldn't be any happier.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Baconeater

Meh, we were broke as **** when we had our son. Didn't matter though because we were tied down with him and couldn't do shit anyway. Now he's 21 and pretty much out of our hair and we have both the disposable income and time to do whatever we want and I couldn't be any happier.

This is what's got me contemplating it although I'm not where I want to be yet.


In my experience, shit tends to work itself out. And I've known tons of people far less capable than I am to do just fine.

[Donger]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm proud of my self-awareness in that area.

[Ming the Merciless]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm going to have to side with Discuss on this one. The diaper thing alone is a dealbreaker.

nah

God has a way of helping us cope with it....the 1st month or two of diapers is completely harmless and doesnt even smell..its like play dough or a little tar..and youi end up changing a million diapers so it becomes like you can do it blindfold...


Then it gets kind of mustardy and just a little stinky, but its a bit easier to clean than the sticky play dough tar..

By the time they are taking real meat/potatoes/stinkbomb shits, youve become numb to changing diapers and it just seems normal...but you are only changing a few a day so it seems actually better than changing a gazillion.

[Strongside]

I see this thread has gone to shit.

[stevieray]

Originally Posted by Strongside

I see this thread has gone to shit.

Sorry, man.

[Predarat]

Chick Fil A Drive Throughs are absolute hell on earth during anytime any normal person would eat. Especially when those damn soccer moms cut right into lane 2 instead of getting in the 1st line.

[srvy]

Listen here buster the thing you need to know in one sentence. You touch my stuff I'll kill ya!

[TribalElder]

Housing market is pretty high right now

Congrats on buying a home. I hope they market doesn't collapse after the election

[lewdog]

Originally Posted by tooge

I like Lewdog. Having said that, the constant "your life will end and all your cool shit will be ruined when you have kids" thing is so.....I don't know, so.....ignorant. My existance was incredible before kids. Hunting, fishing, camping, golfing, bbqing, working out, traveling, hanging with buddies, etc. Then when I had kids, my life actually started. Now I do all the same stuff I did before, but I have taught my kids how to do it with me. Hell, I hunt and fish more than I ever did, and now my son goes to the gym with me. Your life starts AFTER kids, not before. Takes a man to make a man, as they say, until then.......

I am sorry my posts in this thread read so serious to some of you.

But kids aren't for everyone and I wish more people would think about all the things that come with having a child. Sadly, many are accidents and many children as seen as burdens to many parents, they just won't tell you.

And for the record, I love kids. I like working with them and interacting with them. Stop bagging on my you asshats. I was thinking this thread was a rather non-serious thread if you actually read the OP.