Life This sucks at 58 - Page 19

Monk · 04-28-2009, 07:15 PM

I normally don't post on here,but damn I need to vent. I have (had) been married to the same woman for over 35 years. Never a major problem in our relationship. Five weeks ago she informs me she wants a divorce as she has met someone and wants something different in her life.

I worked 25 years for Williams Energy, we put two daughters through college and helped them, as we could, get established in life.

So,today was a meeting between the lawyers and I find out I will have to give her the house (paid for ) a car (new) and 1/2 of my pension,savings, and investments. Now all of that was ours 50/50 any way and she did her part in the marriage. Not only does it hurt like hell but now it looks like at 58 I have to start all over again.

Sorry for spelling or grammer but right now I don't care my heart is broken and soon to be homeless (STARTING OVER AT 58 )

Amnorix · 04-30-2009, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crashride

Whoa dude chill how are you gonna call me out for my personal opinion? I understand that your trying to be understanding and look cool for the few ladies here, but sorry if I have no sympathy for a man OR woman cheats on their spouse. I simply stated if someone cheats then they dont deserve a dime. Whatever you do dont lose sleep on MY opinion.

Original use of the word idiotic....

I agree, their position isn't sympathetic, but Court's aren't about sympathy. There's more than sympathy for someone who got wronged going on here.

Besides, would you support the wife getting 100% if the man cheated?

Amnorix · 04-30-2009, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

being a housewife was her job. by cheating, she chose to quit her job. when you quit , you dont have any benefits. you get shown the door. screw her, its not his problem how she eats or lives. she lost that priveledge when she stepped out. the chick should be on her own
Posted via Mobile Device

You're right. That's exactly how it works.

And when Mr. Corporate Executive nails his secretary, then the wife gets 100%, right?

Amnorix · 04-30-2009, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerberos

I worked with a retired Chief Warrant officer once that had just gone through a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. He gave up his house, a vehicle, most of thier belongings and half his retirement pay.

He told me he had devised a plan TOO LATE to put into action.

First he said he would get a bottle of something potent and then stalk her till he found her somewhere he could run the B**** over.

Stop the vehicle and commence drinking out of the bottle till the police/sherrif arrived.

When his lawyer went to court he would claim temporary insanity from the alcohol and hope for "Involutary Manslaughter".

After serving a 7-10 year stretch or less he would be free of all obligation.

As it stood she had everything and half his retirement pay for the rest of her life.

His claim to fame was 7-10 was nothing compared to 30 to 40 years.

There was an episode of Quincy where the guy did something just like this. The old Jack Klugman series.

soopamanluva · 04-30-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

He's the internet divoce guru, that's for sure.

im far from it. i have never been divorced. i've never had to do any of that stuff, i have just seen it done. like i said, if it was me who cheated and she wanted to ruin my life, i deserve everything she does.
Posted via Mobile Device

soopamanluva · 04-30-2009, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

You're right. That's exactly how it works.

And when Mr. Corporate Executive nails his secretary, then the wife gets 100%, right?

like i said, if he is at fault, he deserves everything that happens to him. he brought it on hisself. screw him
Posted via Mobile Device

Coogs · 04-30-2009, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

my wife is one of the nicest people i have ever met and she would never betray me like that.
Posted via Mobile Device

Never say never. Heck, the Schwan's man is probably making a delivery at your house right now.

Amnorix · 04-30-2009, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

like i said, if he is at fault, he deserves everything that happens to him. he brought it on hisself. screw him
Posted via Mobile Device

Look up "no fault divorce" sometime.

And you'll take what the judge gives you and like it unless you plan YEARS in advance by offshoring assets and playing similar games.

soopamanluva · 04-30-2009, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

Look up "no fault divorce" sometime.

And you'll take what the judge gives you and like it unless you plan YEARS in advance by offshoring assets and playing similar games.

you are not understanding me. i know about no fault divorce. thats not the fault i was reffering to. im talking about if he broke the marriage vows the woman should takes his scandolous self to the cleaners and if the woman cheats she shouldnt get a dime. wrong or not thats how i see it.
Posted via Mobile Device

soopamanluva · 04-30-2009, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coogs

Never say never. Heck, the Schwan's man is probably making a delivery at your house right now.

lol
Posted via Mobile Device

soopamanluva · 04-30-2009, 02:18 PM

For eveyone who thinks I'm crazy read this. To the OP, I know it sucks now, but your situation is beautiful compared to this: (I got this from another board)

I'm a 42 year old male who arrived home from a business trip one day to receive the standard about to be a divorced dad package. No warning of course, just locks changed, bank accounts cleaned out, credit cards maxed out, all valuables moved to her parents, and of course a temporary restraining order and false charge of "domestic violence”. I was left with the lesser of our two vehicles, my cell phone, the clothes on my back (from a 3 day business trip), and what I had in my wallet which was about $6.

I went to a friends house to stay the night and try to arrange to see my children but as I couldn't call my soon to be ex this proved pointless. As the days went by I received a pendite lite hearing granting my wife roughly 70% of my take home salary in spousal and child support. They also granted her full exclusive use of my house and everything in it, the nicer of the two vehicles (for the children!), and ordered me to pay that months mortgage payment + all debts not directly associated with the house (read: our credit cards which she maxed out while I was gone).

With the bank accounts, we had just redid out mortgage (much lower interest rate) and had roughly $40,000 within same not including my monthly salary (take home = $5,480.55). I also received an advance of $1500 from my employer to take the very last class for a master’s degree (which I had to pay my employer back for of course). I am paid once a month and she timed it perfectly. When I got back on the 3rd of the month all but $5 was in our joint accounts and she moved all of the money to a newly opened personal account for her and transferred $15,000 to her parents. To make matters worse all the bills including the mortgage and the bill for my final masters class electronically hit on the 5th, 2 days later. So with $6 available to me and no paycheck till the 1st of next month I was ordered to pay that months mortgage of $1450 (plus late fees as she caused this to bounce), $3,800 in support to her, another $350 in student loans, minimum payments on the credit cards of $300 (this was new I paid these off every month religiously), about $400 in bounced check fees which includes getting money to the doctor/dentist/auto shop etc. because the checks I wrote to them bounced, $1500 to my employer for the class I couldn't take as she stole the money for it, somehow find a place a live (rent), and of course buy things like food, gas, etc. Plus there was one more very important wrinkle...

I held one of the highest security clearances available and performed only cleared work which helped justify my salary to my employer. If that DV charge stuck or if I received ANYTHING other than a full not guilty I would lose my clearance and my job INSTANTLY. This meant I had to hire a criminal defense attorney also as losing my job would stop all income and woe be to the heretic that violates the sacrament of child support for any reason whatsoever. That scum only deserves jail - bonus points if their injured, in a coma, on deployment, etc.

I was able to scrape together a $14,500 loan from my credit union to pay for all of the above, find a place to live, and hire 2 lawyers, one to cover the divorce and another to fight the domestic violence charge. At the trial for the "Domestic Violence" charge my now ex swore up and down that I had hit her several weeks before right after returning from a business trip. Naturally she was so traumatized by this experience that she just had to "take action" while I was conveniently away so as to protect herself and prevent me from doing this again upon my return. Fortunately my defense lawyer made chutney of her testimony, demanding she point out on a calendar exactly when it happened, what the weather was like (she said it happened outside), etc. Well she stated, and restated that it was sunny out, about 4pm in the afternoon when in fact it was raining on that day and oh yeah... I wouldn't return for another TWO FULL days, and then it was late at night (no sun), and this day too was rainy - She broke down on the stand and said something to the effect of "Well I know it happened but I don't remember the facts!!!” Not guilty - $1500 for the defense - no restitution for me for the false charge (it won't be the last) and of course no punishment for her for making the false charge.

A few weeks later with the not guilty verdict I was able to get the restraining order cancelled. The order getting cancelled was good as she tried more than once to trick me into "meeting her somewhere to talk about things" and used the children as bait. The first time I agreed to meet but had the sense to have a friend drive by the location and watch the place for an hour before she arrived. About 20 minutes before the meeting was to take place she arrived with her father and a sheriff in tow... Gosh wonder what that meeting would have been like with a live restraining order in place?

It took me 5 months of wrangling before I could actually see my children (I have 3 all under 5 years) and the only way this was allowed was for her to meet me at a local restaurant with them. I had to agree to pay for her and my children’s meals as she was a poor single destitute mother of 3 etc. ad nauseum. Well on one of these meetings I receive a call that my truck (handed to her by the judge "FOR THE CHILDREN!!" wouldn't start. I wanted to see my kids and it had been a few months so like an idiot I agreed to drive us all to the restaurant. 3 weeks later I'm arrested for another false "domestic violence" charge and once again have to pay for a full defense. Seems I "hit" her when I went to pick her up which was of course a lie. Another $1500, no witnesses, no marks, oh and I accidentally recorded the whole meeting with a buttonhole camera that clearly showed I did nothing. I presented this evidence to the judge hoping that this would actually prompt him to consider charges of perjury but I was informed that because of the terrible stress she was under that I should just forgive and forget and oh be a dear and cover the $1500 for my attorney as this is clearly the higher road and what any about to destroyed man should do. Without belaboring this too much another false "Domestic Violence" charge (3rd) was also placed a month later when I was out of town - another $1500, another acquittal.

Right after this my lawyer and her lawyer finally agree on a visitation schedule “graciously” allowing me to see my children twice a month. Naturally she demands I come to the house, alone, sans camera (wants me to sign something promising I won't bring it), to pick up my children. I refuse and demand we do the exchange at a neutral location with cameras, listing the false charges and attempts to put me in jail whenever we're alone. Long story short they refuse, and I have to actually take her to court to demand that she drive 5 minutes (3 miles) down the road to a busy gas station with cameras everywhere for the exchange. I have to drive 62 miles from where I am living but 3 miles is just too much for her. I "win" but I am ordered to pay her legal fees incurred while contesting this ($2000 for my lawyer plus another $2500 for hers). By this time I’ve had to take out two more loans from my father to cover the costs of these shenanigans and my soon to be ex absolutely refuses to let me take out an equity loan on my own house as both our names are on it and she wants it all.

Months go by and the time for the final trial is almost upon us. Property settlement agreements are flying back and forth with ridiculous demands coming from the other side including: She keeps everything she stole, I pay off all "mutual" debt, she gets the house, she keeps all family heirlooms including ones from my family, she keeps the truck, my 10 year old car is sold with the proceeds split 70/30 in her favor, I pay her lawyer $20,000, she gets a raise of alimony/child support to $4400 (from $3800), the alimony of $2400 per month would be for *life* (we were married 8 years), she takes all children off her taxes forever (yes this was bizarre I don't understand it either), she gets the entire tax return for the coming year whatever it is. Obviously I couldn't agree to any of this and so we went to court... she received: 70% of my house (plus all costs associated with selling it to come out of MY meager share when sold), another $2,500 attorney fees, alimony of $2200 for 15 years (she's 30), $1600 child support with yearly adjustments, she got to keep ALL furniture, heirlooms, and anything of value she took as it was just too difficult to separate those things as they had been mingled with her parents stuff. I was awarded ALL debt including the credit cards and (bizarrely) the annual home owners association dues of $600 needed to be paid by me. I got to “generously” keep my car. I was also forced to continue to provide health and dental insurance for the children basically forever. The judge went out of her way to emphasize that although this "seems like a lot" it was really for the best and then threatened me with jail if I couldn't or wouldn't meet all of these obligations.

Months before I was forced to find additional under the table work (contracting for cash) in order to keep up with the frequent demands placed on me. I was working most weekends so I could never see my kids, and furthermore when the time to see them arrived she'd almost always find some excuse to deny my seeing them. The only relief I had centered on a woman I met 8 months after my ex began this, and I was living with her by her good graces as I could afford to pay no rent. Then it happened... On a rare free weekend I went to pick up my kids and when I arrived at the gas station my ex introduced me to her "friend" who would be babysitting my children and she wanted me to meet her (very magnanimous no?). My ex then handed me a pack of pictures for my daughter (her first year in school) and told me there was an order form inside where I could get some more. I pulled out the form and pictures, noted the prices listed on the form, and stuffed it back into the envelope. I couldn't afford to order pics but I could at least scan the ones provided for free and maybe blow them up and print them at work. 3 weeks later I receive a nasty note from her lawyer lauding his performance in court and cynically chiding me for the outcome. Apparently my ex decided that the 'stimulus' package should be hers and she should also be compensated for the hot water heater and roof repair on "my" house so she could sell it and take the money. I claimed I was never served with such a notice AS IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME TO LOOK INSIDE THE PICTURE ENVELOPE WHERE, TAPED FACE DOWN TO THE BACK AND INSIDE, WAS A SUMMONS. Seems the "babysitter" and "friend" (she is both actually) was also a part time process server and she testified that she handed it to me legally. The gas station tapes had already been recorded over so I couldn't get them as proof and they knew it. Since I wasn't there, my ex won everything she demanded and then some. Another $12,500 for house repairs (how they arrived at this number I have no idea), $5,000 more for attorney fees, the entire stimulus package, and my portion of the tax return I guess to teach me a lesson.

I didn't have anything close to the amount of money they were demanding and my house wasn't selling in this market. To add insult to injury I received a note from the Dept Homeland Security stating that even though I was innocent of the three false DV charges they felt that a “reinvestigation” should take place before allowing me to perform any more cleared work. My clearance was suspended “pending review". No amount of talking to them would suffice and I was let go from my main employer the next day. This is when I made the decision... I called an old college friend I hadn't seen in years and spent an evening talking to him and asked him a huge favor. "Yes" was his answer... Over the next 30 days I applied for as many personal and "signature" loans as possible and I deliberately missed the deadline to pay my ex. A contempt hearing was scheduled and 5 days before it occurred I tearfully said goodbye to my girlfriend, boarded a plane, and left the United States forever.

I am now a "deadbeat dad" and thus evil and I cannot return home. Within 10 years I will owe my ex over $1.1 million dollars assuming 10% interest and no additional court penalties. My passport is good until 2018 but if I ever cross a U.S. border I will be arrested and imprisoned as this slave just couldn't produce enough to satisfy his “massa”. Looking back on all of this (I’ve been abroad now for over a month) I still can't believe how quickly I went from most trusted American citizen to most hated and it still seems a blur. I fully realize that I could easily serve more time for my 'crimes' than I could for murder and the trial for murder would at least involve a jury, rules of evidence, and a presumption of innocence. Let this be a lesson for all those who can't bring themselves to leave: MURDER is now a better solution than being continuously jailed for child support and the dead do not collect alimony... Just another day in paradise I suppose.

You see I was to discover that this was never really about money as my ex has parents who are very well off and promised to take care of her - she needed nothing. Her parents wrote her lawyer a blank check and said do everything you can to get him, destroy him, and put him in jail. She wanted me in prison, period, and money was simply the method to do it. Family court decrees are always backed with threats of violence and contempt orders that jail, jail, and jail without thought or mercy or reason and the corruption is so deep it can't change until the U.S. finally and mercifully collapses. The game is decided from the word "go". I am now desperately trying to find work while in exile, so that I can stop living off the kindness of others. Before I left I served as a Network Architect and I am willing to go anywhere (non west preferred as the tentacles of the U.S. are long and stretch everywhere). We'll see how it goes...

God be with everyone who has had to go through this or had a friend or loved one who has. The first step to getting my life back is to have a goal and before I left I gave what few friends who didn't mindlessly turn on me when it all started a special address they can contact me at. When and if the time ever comes and they have a choice of jail or leaving, I will be there to help with a bed and a roof and freedom. Perhaps that will be the only good to come out of this, the ability to help another as I have been helped. I urge anyone reading this to offer the same. Make no mistake, what is needed is a full underground railroad akin to the kind that existed in the days of Harriet Tubman... but no one mourns for men.

Deadbeat Dad #3475739 signing off
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MOhillbilly · 04-30-2009, 02:22 PM

when/if i get married i will bury that bitch before she divorces.

Crashride · 04-30-2009, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

I agree, their position isn't sympathetic, but Court's aren't about sympathy. There's more than sympathy for someone who got wronged going on here.

Besides, would you support the wife getting 100% if the man cheated?

Absolutley I support that, this thing goes both ways. But if the man cheated should she get 100%? I dont think she should, thats when I feel the current system should take place.

Duck Dog · 04-30-2009, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

you have to have friends in hr. i work with a guy who has the bulk of his check paid to his wife so the courts think he makes a whole lot less than he does and his ex wife doesnt know a thing. basically you have to have friends in a lot of places. another friend of mine gets the 80 percent of his check under the table because hes ordered to pay cs on a child that aint his. things can be done you just have to think and be creative.
i can tell you a story of what this wife did that will blow your mind. she was SO wrong for it but i gotta hand it to her. i wouldnt even think of the things she did
Posted via Mobile Device

OK, sure.

Brock · 04-30-2009, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

you are not understanding me. i know about no fault divorce. thats not the fault i was reffering to. im talking about if he broke the marriage vows the woman should takes his scandolous self to the cleaners and if the woman cheats she shouldnt get a dime. wrong or not thats how i see it.
Posted via Mobile Device

It's wrong, no matter how you see it. You're just some guy commenting on things you have no experience with, obviously.

**Iowanian** · 04-30-2009, 03:09 PM

You guys sure derailed the speeding funny-train.

04-28-2009, 07:15 PM
Monk Starter Join Date: Aug 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	This sucks at 58 I normally don't post on here,but damn I need to vent. I have (had) been married to the same woman for over 35 years. Never a major problem in our relationship. Five weeks ago she informs me she wants a divorce as she has met someone and wants something different in her life. I worked 25 years for Williams Energy, we put two daughters through college and helped them, as we could, get established in life. So,today was a meeting between the lawyers and I find out I will have to give her the house (paid for ) a car (new) and 1/2 of my pension,savings, and investments. Now all of that was ours 50/50 any way and she did her part in the marriage. Not only does it hurt like hell but now it looks like at 58 I have to start all over again. Sorry for spelling or grammer but right now I don't care my heart is broken and soon to be homeless (STARTING OVER AT 58 )
Posts: 54

04-30-2009, 02:18 PM	#280
soopamanluva Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Casino cash: $10005147	For eveyone who thinks I'm crazy read this. To the OP, I know it sucks now, but your situation is beautiful compared to this: (I got this from another board) I'm a 42 year old male who arrived home from a business trip one day to receive the standard about to be a divorced dad package. No warning of course, just locks changed, bank accounts cleaned out, credit cards maxed out, all valuables moved to her parents, and of course a temporary restraining order and false charge of "domestic violence”. I was left with the lesser of our two vehicles, my cell phone, the clothes on my back (from a 3 day business trip), and what I had in my wallet which was about $6. I went to a friends house to stay the night and try to arrange to see my children but as I couldn't call my soon to be ex this proved pointless. As the days went by I received a pendite lite hearing granting my wife roughly 70% of my take home salary in spousal and child support. They also granted her full exclusive use of my house and everything in it, the nicer of the two vehicles (for the children!), and ordered me to pay that months mortgage payment + all debts not directly associated with the house (read: our credit cards which she maxed out while I was gone). With the bank accounts, we had just redid out mortgage (much lower interest rate) and had roughly $40,000 within same not including my monthly salary (take home = $5,480.55). I also received an advance of $1500 from my employer to take the very last class for a master’s degree (which I had to pay my employer back for of course). I am paid once a month and she timed it perfectly. When I got back on the 3rd of the month all but $5 was in our joint accounts and she moved all of the money to a newly opened personal account for her and transferred $15,000 to her parents. To make matters worse all the bills including the mortgage and the bill for my final masters class electronically hit on the 5th, 2 days later. So with $6 available to me and no paycheck till the 1st of next month I was ordered to pay that months mortgage of $1450 (plus late fees as she caused this to bounce), $3,800 in support to her, another $350 in student loans, minimum payments on the credit cards of $300 (this was new I paid these off every month religiously), about $400 in bounced check fees which includes getting money to the doctor/dentist/auto shop etc. because the checks I wrote to them bounced, $1500 to my employer for the class I couldn't take as she stole the money for it, somehow find a place a live (rent), and of course buy things like food, gas, etc. Plus there was one more very important wrinkle... I held one of the highest security clearances available and performed only cleared work which helped justify my salary to my employer. If that DV charge stuck or if I received ANYTHING other than a full not guilty I would lose my clearance and my job INSTANTLY. This meant I had to hire a criminal defense attorney also as losing my job would stop all income and woe be to the heretic that violates the sacrament of child support for any reason whatsoever. That scum only deserves jail - bonus points if their injured, in a coma, on deployment, etc. I was able to scrape together a $14,500 loan from my credit union to pay for all of the above, find a place to live, and hire 2 lawyers, one to cover the divorce and another to fight the domestic violence charge. At the trial for the "Domestic Violence" charge my now ex swore up and down that I had hit her several weeks before right after returning from a business trip. Naturally she was so traumatized by this experience that she just had to "take action" while I was conveniently away so as to protect herself and prevent me from doing this again upon my return. Fortunately my defense lawyer made chutney of her testimony, demanding she point out on a calendar exactly when it happened, what the weather was like (she said it happened outside), etc. Well she stated, and restated that it was sunny out, about 4pm in the afternoon when in fact it was raining on that day and oh yeah... I wouldn't return for another TWO FULL days, and then it was late at night (no sun), and this day too was rainy - She broke down on the stand and said something to the effect of "Well I know it happened but I don't remember the facts!!!” Not guilty - $1500 for the defense - no restitution for me for the false charge (it won't be the last) and of course no punishment for her for making the false charge. A few weeks later with the not guilty verdict I was able to get the restraining order cancelled. The order getting cancelled was good as she tried more than once to trick me into "meeting her somewhere to talk about things" and used the children as bait. The first time I agreed to meet but had the sense to have a friend drive by the location and watch the place for an hour before she arrived. About 20 minutes before the meeting was to take place she arrived with her father and a sheriff in tow... Gosh wonder what that meeting would have been like with a live restraining order in place? It took me 5 months of wrangling before I could actually see my children (I have 3 all under 5 years) and the only way this was allowed was for her to meet me at a local restaurant with them. I had to agree to pay for her and my children’s meals as she was a poor single destitute mother of 3 etc. ad nauseum. Well on one of these meetings I receive a call that my truck (handed to her by the judge "FOR THE CHILDREN!!" wouldn't start. I wanted to see my kids and it had been a few months so like an idiot I agreed to drive us all to the restaurant. 3 weeks later I'm arrested for another false "domestic violence" charge and once again have to pay for a full defense. Seems I "hit" her when I went to pick her up which was of course a lie. Another $1500, no witnesses, no marks, oh and I accidentally recorded the whole meeting with a buttonhole camera that clearly showed I did nothing. I presented this evidence to the judge hoping that this would actually prompt him to consider charges of perjury but I was informed that because of the terrible stress she was under that I should just forgive and forget and oh be a dear and cover the $1500 for my attorney as this is clearly the higher road and what any about to destroyed man should do. Without belaboring this too much another false "Domestic Violence" charge (3rd) was also placed a month later when I was out of town - another $1500, another acquittal. Right after this my lawyer and her lawyer finally agree on a visitation schedule “graciously” allowing me to see my children twice a month. Naturally she demands I come to the house, alone, sans camera (wants me to sign something promising I won't bring it), to pick up my children. I refuse and demand we do the exchange at a neutral location with cameras, listing the false charges and attempts to put me in jail whenever we're alone. Long story short they refuse, and I have to actually take her to court to demand that she drive 5 minutes (3 miles) down the road to a busy gas station with cameras everywhere for the exchange. I have to drive 62 miles from where I am living but 3 miles is just too much for her. I "win" but I am ordered to pay her legal fees incurred while contesting this ($2000 for my lawyer plus another $2500 for hers). By this time I’ve had to take out two more loans from my father to cover the costs of these shenanigans and my soon to be ex absolutely refuses to let me take out an equity loan on my own house as both our names are on it and she wants it all. Months go by and the time for the final trial is almost upon us. Property settlement agreements are flying back and forth with ridiculous demands coming from the other side including: She keeps everything she stole, I pay off all "mutual" debt, she gets the house, she keeps all family heirlooms including ones from my family, she keeps the truck, my 10 year old car is sold with the proceeds split 70/30 in her favor, I pay her lawyer $20,000, she gets a raise of alimony/child support to $4400 (from $3800), the alimony of $2400 per month would be for life (we were married 8 years), she takes all children off her taxes forever (yes this was bizarre I don't understand it either), she gets the entire tax return for the coming year whatever it is. Obviously I couldn't agree to any of this and so we went to court... she received: 70% of my house (plus all costs associated with selling it to come out of MY meager share when sold), another $2,500 attorney fees, alimony of $2200 for 15 years (she's 30), $1600 child support with yearly adjustments, she got to keep ALL furniture, heirlooms, and anything of value she took as it was just too difficult to separate those things as they had been mingled with her parents stuff. I was awarded ALL debt including the credit cards and (bizarrely) the annual home owners association dues of $600 needed to be paid by me. I got to “generously” keep my car. I was also forced to continue to provide health and dental insurance for the children basically forever. The judge went out of her way to emphasize that although this "seems like a lot" it was really for the best and then threatened me with jail if I couldn't or wouldn't meet all of these obligations. Months before I was forced to find additional under the table work (contracting for cash) in order to keep up with the frequent demands placed on me. I was working most weekends so I could never see my kids, and furthermore when the time to see them arrived she'd almost always find some excuse to deny my seeing them. The only relief I had centered on a woman I met 8 months after my ex began this, and I was living with her by her good graces as I could afford to pay no rent. Then it happened... On a rare free weekend I went to pick up my kids and when I arrived at the gas station my ex introduced me to her "friend" who would be babysitting my children and she wanted me to meet her (very magnanimous no?). My ex then handed me a pack of pictures for my daughter (her first year in school) and told me there was an order form inside where I could get some more. I pulled out the form and pictures, noted the prices listed on the form, and stuffed it back into the envelope. I couldn't afford to order pics but I could at least scan the ones provided for free and maybe blow them up and print them at work. 3 weeks later I receive a nasty note from her lawyer lauding his performance in court and cynically chiding me for the outcome. Apparently my ex decided that the 'stimulus' package should be hers and she should also be compensated for the hot water heater and roof repair on "my" house so she could sell it and take the money. I claimed I was never served with such a notice AS IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME TO LOOK INSIDE THE PICTURE ENVELOPE WHERE, TAPED FACE DOWN TO THE BACK AND INSIDE, WAS A SUMMONS. Seems the "babysitter" and "friend" (she is both actually) was also a part time process server and she testified that she handed it to me legally. The gas station tapes had already been recorded over so I couldn't get them as proof and they knew it. Since I wasn't there, my ex won everything she demanded and then some. Another $12,500 for house repairs (how they arrived at this number I have no idea), $5,000 more for attorney fees, the entire stimulus package, and my portion of the tax return I guess to teach me a lesson. I didn't have anything close to the amount of money they were demanding and my house wasn't selling in this market. To add insult to injury I received a note from the Dept Homeland Security stating that even though I was innocent of the three false DV charges they felt that a “reinvestigation” should take place before allowing me to perform any more cleared work. My clearance was suspended “pending review". No amount of talking to them would suffice and I was let go from my main employer the next day. This is when I made the decision... I called an old college friend I hadn't seen in years and spent an evening talking to him and asked him a huge favor. "Yes" was his answer... Over the next 30 days I applied for as many personal and "signature" loans as possible and I deliberately missed the deadline to pay my ex. A contempt hearing was scheduled and 5 days before it occurred I tearfully said goodbye to my girlfriend, boarded a plane, and left the United States forever. I am now a "deadbeat dad" and thus evil and I cannot return home. Within 10 years I will owe my ex over $1.1 million dollars assuming 10% interest and no additional court penalties. My passport is good until 2018 but if I ever cross a U.S. border I will be arrested and imprisoned as this slave just couldn't produce enough to satisfy his “massa”. Looking back on all of this (I’ve been abroad now for over a month) I still can't believe how quickly I went from most trusted American citizen to most hated and it still seems a blur. I fully realize that I could easily serve more time for my 'crimes' than I could for murder and the trial for murder would at least involve a jury, rules of evidence, and a presumption of innocence. Let this be a lesson for all those who can't bring themselves to leave: MURDER is now a better solution than being continuously jailed for child support and the dead do not collect alimony... Just another day in paradise I suppose. You see I was to discover that this was never really about money as my ex has parents who are very well off and promised to take care of her - she needed nothing. Her parents wrote her lawyer a blank check and said do everything you can to get him, destroy him, and put him in jail. She wanted me in prison, period, and money was simply the method to do it. Family court decrees are always backed with threats of violence and contempt orders that jail, jail, and jail without thought or mercy or reason and the corruption is so deep it can't change until the U.S. finally and mercifully collapses. The game is decided from the word "go". I am now desperately trying to find work while in exile, so that I can stop living off the kindness of others. Before I left I served as a Network Architect and I am willing to go anywhere (non west preferred as the tentacles of the U.S. are long and stretch everywhere). We'll see how it goes... God be with everyone who has had to go through this or had a friend or loved one who has. The first step to getting my life back is to have a goal and before I left I gave what few friends who didn't mindlessly turn on me when it all started a special address they can contact me at. When and if the time ever comes and they have a choice of jail or leaving, I will be there to help with a bed and a roof and freedom. Perhaps that will be the only good to come out of this, the ability to help another as I have been helped. I urge anyone reading this to offer the same. Make no mistake, what is needed is a full underground railroad akin to the kind that existed in the days of Harriet Tubman... but no one mourns for men. Deadbeat Dad #3475739 signing off Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 847

04-30-2009, 02:22 PM	#281
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	when/if i get married i will bury that bitch before she divorces. __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

04-30-2009, 03:09 PM	#285
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4628454	You guys sure derailed the speeding funny-train.
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