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05-23-2004, 05:50 PM
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NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
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rel="Lightbox"?attachmentid=21520" border="0" alt="" class="tcattdimgresizer" onload="NcodeImageResizer.createOn(this);" />
B-17 #5 El Duderino II - Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders Pilot Lzen (1) Copilot Rain Man (1) Bombardier Talisman (13) Navigator Joe Seahawk (1) Engineer Radar Chief (13) Radio Op. Mr. Blond (1) Tail Gunner UMKC 1L (1) Ball Turret Gunner morphius (1) Right Waist Gunner kcfanintitanhell (1) Left Waist Gunner PastorMikH (1) Target: Lille Mid-formation horizontally, low vertically (high vulnerability) Distance: 3 zones (A nice short mission) Zone 1 Out: Britain No enemy Zone 2 Out: English Channel No enemy Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone) 1 Fw190, 3 Me109s attack 1 Fw190 and 2 Me109s are driven off by fighters Talisman fires, misses Joe seahawk fires, misses Radar chief fires, misses Kcfanintitanhell fires, misses Me scores 1 hit -superficial damage to starboard aileron Me circles, attacks again Talisman fires, kills Me109 Radar chief fires, misses Umkc 1l fires, misses 5 Me109s attack 3 are driven off by fighters Talisman fires, misses Joe seahawk fires, damages Me109 Radar chief fires, misses Kcfanintitanhell fires, misses Morphius fires, misses 2 Mes miss, break off attack Entering Bomb Zone Good Weather Light Flak - misses The veteran Talisman makes the trip worthwhile 40% score Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone) Without warning, the skies are suddenly filled with German fighters! An aerial circus ensues as the allied fighters swarm as well. 4 Fw190s attack Joe seahawk fires, misses Radar chief fires, misses Umkc 1l fires, damages Fw190 Morphius fires, kills Fw190 Pastormikh fires, misses 2 Fws miss, break off attack Damaged Fw presses in and scores 2 hits, then breaks off attack -superficial damage to starboard wing -superficial damage to waist 1 Me109 attacks Joe seahawk fires, misses Umkc 1l fires, misses Radar chief fires, misses Me scores 2 hits -superficial damage to bomb bay -superficial damage to radio room Me circles, attacks again Joe seahawk fires, misses Umkc 1l fires, misses Radar chief fires, misses Me misses, breaks off attack 2 Me109s, 1 Fw190, 1 Me110 attack 1 Me110 is driven off by fighters Radar chief fires, misses Umkc 1l fires, damages Me109 Kcfanintitanhell fires, misses Pastormikh fires, damages Fw190 Joe seahawk fires, misses Damaged Fw misses, breaks off attack Damaged Me scores 2 hits, breaks off attack -tail UMKC 1L suffers a serious wound to the neck -tail UMKC 1Ls heat suit fails Me scores 1 hit -superficial damage to pilot compartment Me circles, attacks again Talisman fires, misses Joe seahawk fires, misses Kcfanintitanhell fires, misses Me scores 3 hits -superficial damage to starboard wing -waist pastormikh takes a light wound, losing his left big toe -port wing root slightly damaged Me circles, attacks again Talisman fires, misses Joe seahawk fires, misses Me misses, breaks off attack Talisman and Joe Seahawk scramble to transfer ammo from the cheek guns to the overworked nose gun. Zone 2: English Channel Mr. Blond hustles back from his radio position to man the tail gun. 5 Fw190s attack 1 is driven off by fighters Morphius fires, hits Fw190 Radar chief fires, misses 3 Fws miss, break off attack Fw scores 3 hits -waist kcfanintitanhell sustains a light wound to the back of the head. -tail UMKC 1L takes a light wound to the left calf. However, the blood loss from his other wound is serious enough that he bleeds out and dies. -port wing the #1 engine takes a direct hit and grinds to a stop. Rain Man feathers the prop and the plane continues on pace with three engines. Fw circles, attacks again Joe seahawk fires, misses Radar chief fires, misses Kcfanintitanhell fires, misses Fw scores 2 hits -radio room the intercom system fails. No more communication within the plane -waist kcfanintitanhell gets nailed squarely in the left side of the head, and moves on to the next world (yet again) Fw circles, attacks again Joe seahawk fires, misses Radar chief fires, misses Fw misses, breaks off attack 4 Me109s attack 2 are driven off by fighters Talisman fires, misses Joe seahawk fires, hits Me109 Pastormikh fires, misses Radar chief fires, kills Me109 Me misses, breaks off attack Zone 1: England Good weather Good landing Aftereffects None Eligible for next mission Pilot Lzen (1) Copilot Rain Man (1) Bombardier Talisman (13) Navigator Joe Seahawk (1) Engineer Radar Chief (13) Radio Op. Mr. Blond (1) Tail Gunner morphius (1), promoted Ball Turret Gunner, XXX Right Waist Gunner PastorMikH (1), promoted Left Waist Gunner, XXX Between morphius and kcfanintitanhell, you just knew that some people were going to die on this mission, no matter how short it was.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit. |
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05-23-2004, 08:44 PM
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#3 | |
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turd polisher
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Location, Location!!!
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I do not think country was intended to be sung consistently in tune. |
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07-27-2004, 05:12 PM
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#4 |
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Guest
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01-08-2005, 06:09 PM
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#5 |
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Will KC ever be better?
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks
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Say, now that we are in the post season again...
HINT HINT HINT 
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05-23-2004, 06:15 PM
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#6 |
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NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Casino cash: $2748491
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rel="Lightbox"?attachmentid=21522" border="0" alt="" class="tcattdimgresizer" onload="NcodeImageResizer.createOn(this);" />
B-17 #7 Flyin Doublewide Pilot htismaqe (13) Copilot Bwana (13) Bombardier 58Forever (13) Navigator fbal4lif32 (13) Engineer SDChiefsfan (13) Radio Op. KC Dan (13) Tail Gunner ExtremeChief (13) Ball Turret Gunner tweak6 (6) Right Waist Gunner joesomebody (6) Left Waist Gunner BIG DADDY (1) Target: Emden, Germany Mid-formation horizontally and vertically (low vulnerability) Distance: 7 Zones Zone 1 Out: Britain No enemy Zone 2 Out: English Channel Before the fighter cover meets up with the B-17s, 5 Me109s attack out of nowhere! Extremechief fires, misses Joesomebody fires, misses Sdchiefsfan fires, kills Me109 KC Dan fires, misses 58forever fires, hits Me109 tweak6 fires, misses 2 Mes miss, break off attack Me scores 8 hits! -nose 58Forever and fbal4lif32 lose the heat in their compartment -pilot compartment htismaqe slumps over the controls with a serious wound to the lower back -pilot compartment bwana takes a light wound to the left foot -superficial damage to the bomb bay -superficial damage to the radio room -waist Big Daddy takes a light wound to the mid-upper back -tail extremechief loses his heat -radio room KC Dan takes a serious wound to the mid-chest Me scores 4 hits -superficial damage to waist -superficial damage to starboard wing flap -superficial damage to radio room -superficial damage to waist 2 Mes circle, attack again Extremechief fires, misses Joesomebody fires, misses Fbal4lif32 fires, hits Me109 Sdchiefsfan fires, misses 58forever fires, misses 2 Mes miss, break off attack In his first move as acting pilot, bwana makes an easy decision. Both he and the pilot are wounded, two other crew members are wounded, and three others are without heat. This mission is over before it began after the Pearl Harbor-like attack. Bwana swings the plane around and drops down to 10,000 feet. Joesomebody moves to the radio room temporarily to call out an abort and radio back to base to bring ambulances quickly. Zone 1: England As luck would have it, the weather is poor, with rain falling and winds picking up. Bwana has a problem in that he cant use the rudders with his injured left foot. SDchiefsfan moves to the pilots seat, gingerly removing htismaqe, and 58Forever moves up from the bombardier position to the top turret gun. Bwana gives SDChiefsfan instructions on how to apply the rudders if and when theyre needed. He lines up on the runway and brings the plane in, which unfortunately takes a gust right as its landing. Left! Bwana calls, and SDchiefsfan applies a left rudder. The two attempt to team in the landing, but it simply doesnt work. Flyin Doublewide swerves and bucks and runs off the runway, its landing gears collapsing in the mud. Fire trucks scream to the scene, but theres no fire and the plane is deemed repairable. Its towed back to the hangar as the crew either walks back or rides in an ambulance. Aftereffects Sadly, htismaqe lingered for 7 days in the hospital, but perished on the eighth. KC Dan was stabilized, but sent home on the Queen Elizabeth to sit out the rest of the war. Eligible for next mission Pilot Bwana (13), promoted Copilot 58Forever (13) , promoted Bombardier fbal4lif32 (13) , promoted Navigator SDChiefsfan (13) , promoted Engineer XXX Radio Op. ExtremeChief (13) , promoted Tail Gunner tweak6 (6) , promoted Ball Turret Gunner joesomebody (6) , promoted Right Waist Gunner BIG DADDY (1) , promoted Left Waist Gunner XXX That was a pretty bloody mission for only 2 zones.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit. |
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Posts: 141,874
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05-23-2004, 06:43 PM
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#7 |
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NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $2748491
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rel="Lightbox"?attachmentid=21525" border="0" alt="" class="tcattdimgresizer" onload="NcodeImageResizer.createOn(this);" />
B17 #10 Gunthers Thunder III Rise of the Machine Pilot JOhn (7) Copilot KC Jones (13) Bombardier Taliswoman (8) Navigator Dartgod (7) Engineer Mohillbilly (7) Radio Op. roger (7) Tail Gunner 4th and Long (7) Ball Turret Gunner Dave Lane (6) Right Waist Gunner bowser (2) Left Waist Gunner Sure-Oz Target: Emden, Germany Mid-formation horizontally, high vertically (moderate vulnerability) Distance: 7 zones Zone 1 Out: Britain No enemy Zone 2 Out: English Channel The squadron is jumped by enemy fighters, but only one targets Gunthers Thunder - 1 Me109 is driven off by fighters. Down in the ball turret, Dave Lane reports seeing another B-17, Flyin Doublewide, get pasted. Zone 3 Out: North Sea No enemy Zone 4 Out: North Sea No enemy Zone 5 Out: North Sea out of fighter range No enemy Zone 6 Out: North Sea No enemy Zone 7 Out: Germany (Entering Target Zone) 1 Me109 attacks Mohillbilly fires, misses Taliswoman fires, misses 4th and Long fires, misses Me misses, breaks off attack Entering Bomb Zone Poor weather rain is drizzling down Medium Flak 4 hits -tail autopilot is damaged. Taliswoman will have to drop the bombs while John is manually flying through the bomb zone -superficial damage to starboard aileron -nose dartgod takes a light wound to the stomach -tail 4th and Long takes a light wound to the back of the right thigh Despite the weather, the lack of an autopilot, the flak hits, and moans of wounded, Taliswoman maintains a surgeons touch at the bomb controls 40% score Zone 7 Back: Germany (Leaving Target Zone) No enemy Zone 6 Back: North Sea No enemy Zone 5 Back: North Sea 1 Fw190, 3 Me109s attack Taliswoman fires, misses Dartgod fires, misses Mohillbilly fires, damages Me109 4th and Long fires, misses Dave lane fires, misses 2 Mes miss, break off attack Fw scores 1 hit -superficial damage to waist Me scores 2 hits -#1 engine is damaged and dies. KC Jones cuts the fuel and feathers the engine successfully. Gunthers Thunder remains in formation -superficial damage to port wing 1 Fw, 1 Me circle, attack again Taliswoman fires, misses Dartgod fires, misses Mohillbilly fires, misses Dave lane fires, misses 4th and Long fires, misses Fw misses, breaks off attack Me scores 1 hit -superficial damage to tail Me circles, attacks again Mohillbilly fires, misses 4th and Long fires, misses Sure-oz fires, misses Me misses, breaks off attack Zone 4 Back: North Sea back in fighter range No enemy Zone 3 Back: North Sea No enemy Zone 2: English Channel No enemy Zone 1: England Good weather Good landing, despite running on three engines Aftereffects None Eligible for next mission Pilot JOhn (7) Copilot KC Jones (13) Bombardier Taliswoman (8) Navigator Dartgod (7) Engineer Mohillbilly (7) Radio Op. roger (7) Tail Gunner 4th and Long (7) Ball Turret Gunner Dave Lane (6) Right Waist Gunner bowser (2) Left Waist Gunner Sure-Oz The Germans were notably missing on that mission.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit. |
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Posts: 141,874
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05-24-2004, 09:38 PM
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#8 | |
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Wheeeeee!!!
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In a house
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 As usual, I didn't hit jack chit. I have my first war wound too. I wonder if Cntrygal will think it's sexy? 
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05-25-2004, 03:28 AM
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Brrrrr.....
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA!!! :)
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Maybe if you had been wounded while destroying the enemy.  |
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05-23-2004, 08:13 PM
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#10 |
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NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
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rel="Lightbox"?attachmentid=21528" border="0" alt="" class="tcattdimgresizer" onload="NcodeImageResizer.createOn(this);" />
B-17 #13 Throw Bomba from the Plane IV A New Hope Pilot ndbbm (8) Copilot JimNasium (5) Bombardier Slayer Diablo (8) Navigator Saggysack (5) Engineer Simplex3 (13) Radio Op. mikey23545 (13) Tail Gunner theultimatekcchiefsfan (13) Ball Turret Gunner Bunnytrdr (13) Right Waist Gunner DaKCMan AP (5) Left Waist Gunner ChiefJustice (5) Target: Lorient, France Mid-formation horizontally, low vertically (high vulnerability) Distance: 6 zones Zone 1 Out: Britain No enemy Zone 2 Out: English Channel No enemy Zone 3 Out: Western Channel 2 Me109s attack Saggysack fires, misses Simplex3 fires, misses Dakcman AP fires, hits Me109 ChiefJustice fires, misses Theultimatekcchiefsfan fires, misses 2 Mes miss, break off attack Zone 4 Out: Western Channel No enemy Zone 5 Out: France out of fighter range 1 Fw190, 2 Me109s attack Slayer Diablo fires, misses Saggysack fires, misses Simplex3 fires, kills Me109 Bunnytrdr fires, misses Dakcman AP fires, misses Fw misses, breaks off attack Me scores 1 hit -superficial damage to nose Me circles, attacks again Simplex3 fires, misses Slayer Diablo fires, misses Me scores 1 hit -nose - saggysack loses his oxygen and switches to his backup system Me circles, attacks again Theultimatekcchiefsfan fires, misses Simplex3 fires, hits Me109 Me misses, breaks off attack 2 Me109s, 1 Me110 attack Saggysack fires, misses ChiefJustice fires, misses Theultimatekcchiefsfan fires, misses Simplex3 fires, kills Me109 Bunnytrdr fires, misses Me109, Me110 miss, break off attack Zone 6 Out: France (Entering Target Zone) 5 Fw190s attack Slayer Diablo fires, kills Fw190 Saggysack fires, misses Simplex3 fires, kills Fw190 Theultimatekcchiefsfan fires, hits Fw190 Bunnytrdr fires, misses Dakcman AP fires, misses 2 Fws miss, break off attack Fw scores 2 hits -superficial damage to radio room -superficial damage to waist Fw circles, attacks again Mikey23545 fires, misses Dakcman AP fires, damages Fw190 Fw misses, breaks off attack 3 Fw190s attack Saggysack fires, misses Simplex3 fires, misses Slayer Diablo fires, misses Bunnytrdr fires, misses Theultimatekcchiefsfan fires, misses ChiefJustice fires, misses 2 Fws miss, break off attack Fw scores 5 hits -superficial damage to port wing -superficial damage to #1 engine -superficial damage to starboard engine -#3 engine propeller is destroyed. JimNasium cuts power to the engine, and Throw Bomba continues on three engines. Once they drop their bombs, theyll be able to keep up with the formation. Tail the tail gun is destroyed Fw circles, attacks again Simplex3 fires, kills Fw190 Slayer Diablo fires, misses Dakcman AP fires, misses Entering Bomb Zone Good Weather Light Flak - misses Slayer pulls the trigger too early 0% score Zone 6 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone) 2 Me110s attack Bunnytrdr fires, hits Me110 Saggysack fires, misses ChiefJustice fires, misses Slayer Diablo fires, misses 2 Mes miss, break off attack Zone 5: France 1 Fw190, 1 Me110 attack Bunnytrdr fires, misses Simplex3 fires, hits Fw190 Saggysack fires, misses ChiefJustice fires, misses Fw, Me miss, break off attack Zone 4: Western Channel back in fighter range In a lucky break, the B-17 flight intersects with a large Spitfire fighter group coming back from another escort mission. In addition to their normal escort, they get a troop of Spitfires flying alongside them. No enemy Zone 3: Western Channel 3 Fw190s attack 2 are driven off by fighters Saggysack fires, misses Simplex3 fires, misses Dakcman AP fires, misses Fw misses, breaks off attack 2 Me109s attack Slayer Diablo fires, misses Saggysack fires, kills Me109 Simplex3 fires, damages Me109 Bunnytrdr fires, misses Dakcman AP fires, misses Me misses, breaks off attack Zone 2: English Channel No enemy Zone 1: England Good weather Ndbbm executes a good landing on three engines. Aftereffects None Eligible for next mission Pilot ndbbm (8) Copilot JimNasium (5) Bombardier Slayer Diablo (8) Navigator Saggysack (5) Engineer Simplex3 (13) Radio Op. mikey23545 (13) Tail Gunner theultimatekcchiefsfan (13) Ball Turret Gunner Bunnytrdr (13) Right Waist Gunner DaKCMan AP (5) Left Waist Gunner ChiefJustice (5) Mission not accomplished, but they sure took out a lot of fighters along the way.
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I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit. |
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05-23-2004, 08:23 PM
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#11 |
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Will KC ever be better?
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks
Casino cash: $9925087
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Wow - Rainman must be upset about the thread location and is trying to kill of the planes.
Condolences to UMKC & kcfanintitanhel But, we're moving on up! Promotion!  
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05-24-2004, 03:10 AM
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#12 | |
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The Stig
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: "Some say he has no home"
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destroyed by a hit to the bomb bay.I am still fuming over that one. 
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05-24-2004, 07:55 PM
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#13 | |
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Space Cadet and Aczabel
Join Date: Aug 2000
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You aren't moving up quite as fast as the others...  I figured you'd be going home after that one... Dave
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Thanks, Trump for the civics lesson. We are learning so much about RICO, espionage, sedition, impeachment, the 25th Amendment, order of succession, nepotism, separation of powers, 1st Amendment, obstruction of justice, the emoluments clause, conflicts of interest, collusion, sanctions, oligarchs, money laundering and so much more. |
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05-24-2004, 10:29 PM
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#14 | |
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Will KC ever be better?
Join Date: Nov 2002
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Going home??? No thanks. I should get a purple heart for it though.  FWIW, That light wound wasn't from enemy fire, it was from kicking the gun because the sights were so far off!
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05-23-2004, 11:02 PM
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#15 | |
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Feeling Victorian
Join Date: Aug 2000
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It bears repeating, **** Herm, Pioli, Haley, and Crennel for ****ing up my franchise for a goddamn decade. Buehler 445 |
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