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#16 |
Will KC ever be better?
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks
Casino cash: $9905087
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Say Scott Free, would you mind taking notes today? JimN and I are going to golf for a bit and charge it to our room.
Thanks man! I owe you!
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#17 |
Kind of a mod
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Donkey Land
Casino cash: $-1653101
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I'm sitting in the courtroom, observing the chaos. Don't be surprised if I jump up yelling obscenities at the defendant from time to time and cry with joy upon hearing the sentence.
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Posts: 53,118
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#18 |
Seize life. Be an ermine.
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $-452449
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To sweeten the pot, the attorney who wins the case may specify my avatar for a period of two weeks after the case.
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#19 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $1030478
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OK, I'm taking the case. Here's my opening statement:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: Mecca is stupid. I think you'll all agree with me on this point. We're here today to determine just how stupid he really is, and the penalties for such stupidity. Thankyou.
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#20 |
Seize life. Be an ermine.
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $-452449
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The court thanks gochiefs for his opening statement.
And for the jury's convenience, please find a note pad and paper in the cupholder in front of you.
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#21 | ||
Like I woke up in Wonderland..
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: KCMO
Casino cash: $1006558
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#22 | |
pie is never free
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: the drivers seat
Casino cash: $47775
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#23 | |
Did you hear what I said?
Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $-556615
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#24 | |
21st Century Schizoid Fan
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Gates of Delirium
Casino cash: $-1135050
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#25 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $1030478
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Is the defense team in the loo?
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#26 | |
Superbowl MVP
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: OOOOOOOOOOOOOLATHE
Casino cash: $9910252
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#27 | |
The Maintenance Guy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate
Casino cash: $3992680
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#28 |
Special Teams ACE!!!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Where the hell is SNR
Casino cash: $-1304792
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A word from an assisting defense attorney:
When I was five years old I went to go see Mt. Rushmore with my family. It was never much to me since my parents wouldn't let me take pictures or anything. Whenever I saw pictures of that vacation, I could never appreciate them for what they were... not MY pictures. For once I wanted a part in the historiography of our family's time together, especially on vacation. I worked enough jobs around the house for my dad to earn some money, and really enough to buy a camera and some film, but they my parents would never allow it because my grandparents always gave us cameras on our 10th birthday and I didn't want to go ahead and buy something that would be immediately taken away from me. So I was bitter. Very bitter. Especially when I was supposed to be enjoying family vacations and other happy moments. When I was eight years old, two years away from that magic age, I went swimming in a pool and was sitting on top one of those giant floating crocodiles that you can put like, 4 or 5 people on. I was laughing and having a good time until I wanted to get off. I stood up and jumped off, in the process flipping the entire crocodile with everyone on it. It rolled over and hit me on the head as I was coming out of the water. I was dazed for several seconds until I realized I couldn't breathe, and the pain in my head was immense. I tried swimming a quick two feet, but I had actually turned myself around and was swimming underwater the long ways against the crocodile. I kept going and going thinking this was still the short way but it wasn't. I was starting to panic. I tried swimming up and pushing the crocodile out of the water, but it was made out of this hard material. It was too heavy for me. Also going through my head while struggling to get out from under the crocodile was why it had been around 20 seconds and no one had bothered to notice that I still hadn't come up out of the water. Everyone had moved off and was doing their own thing, no doubt still pissed that I had knocked them off the crocodile. I couldn't believe their lack of sympathy for my own life. They weren't concerned that I hadn't yet found a way to swim under the crocodile and breathe, a simple task in itself, but yet it still was not accomplished. I imagined even if I found myself swimming up from under it, they would chew me out for what? Having done nothing wrong? No, because I ruined peoples' fun. This drew me back to getting a camera. I really, really, really wanted a camera at age 5 at that specific moment in the vacation and I was denied. I was sick of being a little kid. For that moment on, I decided I was going to quit letting people push me around. I grabbed the tail of the crocodile and with all my strength I shoved it aside, knocking more people off and I finally arose from under the water. Nobody even seemed to notice that I was a dick, or was trying to act like one. I felt so ignored. If only I had had a camera, I wouldn't feel like this at age 8, so young, and so impressionable. This would affect my personality and being for the rest of my life. I transformed into a bright, happy kid into an assholish, cynical prick. I began to see that if I could do something to maybe ruin peoples lives... like get criminals out of bad deeds they had committed, I could satisfy my need to crush other peoples' hopes all because I couldn't escape from that crocodile's underside. Needless to say, I did not go to law school at all. It bored me. I became a musician. But I always had my sights set on it. Well, now it is my time to achieve my love of hurting people by being a dickheaded defense attourney. That is why I am here, after all. Because of a camera and a crocodile. On the bright side, though, I now have my own camera. In fact, I own several. They're alright. Photography isn't a strong suit of mine but I enjoy capturing special moments... sunsets and scenery and stuff like that. Good views, know what I'm saying? And I have yet to see another one of those ****ing crocodiles. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your time. Mecca is not guilty. God bless. |
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#29 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2003
Casino cash: $7737309
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When's lunch?
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#30 | |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2003
Casino cash: $7737309
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