El Damn-o

[Rain Man]

I found out this morning that a friend of mine committed suicide.

She and I worked together for about five years, and we were part of the fight when my psycho ex-boss took over that company. She was one of the good guys. She thought that a group of us could overrun him and keep the ship afloat and ethical. I thought differently, and we had a lot of discussions about it. I left amidst an open war with the psycho, she stayed, and they gave her the first partnership offer after I turned mine down. I thought it was a huge mistake to accept it, but she did.

Right about that time, her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She stayed at that company for a few more years, and apparently just ground to a halt. She was the sole caregiver of her mother, and work was going badly from the little I heard.

She stopped talking to me not long after I left that company, which was quite sad. Wouldn't return e-mails, wouldn't return calls. I figured it was just because of the work rift stuff, and a lot of it probably was, but I never dreamed that things were that bad for her internally, that something like this would happen. She was bright and resilient, and a great person.

Apparently she cared for her mother until she had to be institutionalized for good this past week, and then she killed herself afterwards.

Dammit. I would've helped her. I would've given her a job. Whatever. It shouldn't have turned out like this.

[chasedude]

It's interesting that she waited to do it until after her mother was institutionalized. Suicide is not the answer.

[Braincase]

My condolensces. Sucks when you know you could've made a difference in someone's life if they would've given you the chance.

[munkey]

Originally Posted by chasedude

It's interesting that she waited to do it until after her mother was institutionalized. Suicide is not the answer.

My Uncle commited suicide when I was just a kid...He we just finishing his residence in San Fran when he tied the tubes on a woman that he felt was unfit to have children (typical drug user, on welfare with 8 childeren already). Not that that was a good reason to do it BUT the head nurse threatened to turn him in costing him everything he'd worked for. From what I understand he was a bright guy but it's hard for me to believe one can be so desperate or depressed that it's the only option...especially when you have two young boys.

Both my cousins are pretty screwed up...sad really.

[ROYC75]

Sad to hear Kev.....keep your spirits up, you have our thoughts and prayers.

[big nasty kcnut]

Sorry to hear that Kevin. Thoughts and prayers

[Reerun_KC]

Sorry Dude, Thoughts and prayers!

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by chasedude

It's interesting that she waited to do it until after her mother was institutionalized. Suicide is not the answer.

You've hit upon my theory. For some reason, I'm doubting that this was caused by depression over her mother's situation so much as she was just waiting to do it until her mother was taken care of.

It's just a shocker. I realize that I've never lost a friend. My only losses are three grandparents and an uncle, and with older relatives I think there's always an underlying acceptance that it's going to happen, so it's not so much of a surprise. This woman was my age, polished, bright, and had a lot going for her.

[StcChief]

Bummer. The Shock will keep you wondering...

Some recent closer co-workers may have seen signs.

Might be worth a chat with them to get closure.

[teedubya]

sorry to hear about this, Rain Man. Sucks when people feel so helpless that their only percieved option is self imposed death. unreal. Life is too fun... bummer that some don't see life as the blessing that it is.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by StcChief

Bummer. The Shock will keep you wondering...

Some recent closer co-workers may have seen signs.

Might be worth a chat with them to get closure.

I don't even know if she was working. Last I'd heard, she had left her most recent job to care for her mother full-time.

An all-new awkward part of this will be going to the funeral. I suspect that my psycho ex-boss and his two remaining spineless underlings will be there, because the cretin actively tries to create the illusion that he actually cares about people. An already stressful situation is going to be a lot worse.

[TinyEvel]

Wow, Kev. Sorry to hear that.

I've had one person in my life commit suicide, and we were all left feeling confused and somewhat responsible. At the funeral, the pastor (who was actually the brother of the deceased) said something that has really stuck with me. He said "We owe him t his: let's not spend our days trying to figure out or speculate why he killed himself. Only he truly knows that answer. He had pains none of us will ever know. Let's instead remember the person we knew and loved. And the times we shared with him."

I suddenly felt selfish that we were all standing around like CSI trying to determine what it was that put him over the edge. The weird thing was, he had joked about it, and we all just figured he was joking.
Suicide hurts the survivors the most, I think.
Sorry to hear your story, Kev. God Bless.

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I don't even know if she was working. Last I'd heard, she had left her most recent job to care for her mother full-time.

An all-new awkward part of this will be going to the funeral. I suspect that my psycho ex-boss and his two remaining spineless underlings will be there, because the cretin actively tries to create the illusion that he actually cares about people. An already stressful situation is going to be a lot worse.

Just go up to him and calmly say, "Of course you know this is all your fault."

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by siberian khatru

Just go up to him and calmly say, "Of course you know this is all your fault."

Sadly, I think that may not be too far off the mark. Seriously, this guy should not be allowed onto the premises.

Maybe instead of saying it, I'll just slip him a note.

[Coach]

My condolensces Kev.

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Sadly, I think that may not be too far off the mark. Seriously, this guy should not be allowed onto the premises.

Maybe instead of saying it, I'll just slip him a note.

Better yet, pin a note to the body in the casket that says "[Boss's name] made me do it."