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Old 06-27-2008, 10:05 AM  
CosmicPal CosmicPal is offline
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Beer Heaven
That Miller Lite commercial is lame. I can only imagine men everywhere are saying to themselves, “That’s not even close to my idea of Beer Heaven!” So, what is your idea of Beer Heaven?

Mine:

An enormous low-lit tavern with high ceilings and private booths nestled on the beach with a patio deck. There is always a star-filled night sky with a full moon and shooting stars. The weather is always perfect and the sand feels like crystals between your toes.

The bar will have the following:
- State-of-the art TVs showing every football game and sporting event to my liking.
- A roomy poolroom with solid oak pool tables and cues that never break.
- A jukebox loaded with all of my favorite music.
- High back stools with leather seats.
- Fresh seafood and KC style BBQ
- A live stage hosting my favorite bands. Remember, this is Heaven, so one night it may be Jimi Hendrix, another night it may be The Doors, and other night, it may be the Beatles or Pink Floyd- you get the idea. It’s Beer Heaven dammit.

Beer, of course, would be free, and it wouldn’t be that Miller Lite crap- it would be some of the richest brews brewed up by a world renowned brew master.

The only men allowed are my closest buddies. And, of course, the tavern is filled with some of the most beautiful and engaging women in the world.

There’s a private bathroom, a private hot-tub, and a private bedroom. Hey, it’s beer heaven! I’d never leave!

And lastly, there’s no such thing as a hang-over in Beer Heaven. Drink up!
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CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.
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Old 06-27-2008, 01:58 PM   #16
El Jefe El Jefe is offline
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Beer and a sweet bike to pull all the hot chicks I want.
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El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.El Jefe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:49 PM   #17
whatsmynameagain whatsmynameagain is offline
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Originally Posted by ENDelt260 View Post
If you're a woman.

Or 16.
whatever, great taste less filling, world beer cup, along with being an all natural pilsner, you can't go wrong.


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whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 06-27-2008, 03:11 PM
ENDelt260
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Old 06-27-2008, 03:21 PM
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Old 06-27-2008, 03:53 PM   #18
beavis beavis is offline
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I've been to Beer Heaven. It's located in Munich, Germany.
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Old 06-27-2008, 04:10 PM   #19
tomahawk kid tomahawk kid is offline
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Originally Posted by ENDelt260 View Post
If you're a woman.

Or 16.
I assume that's why I've seen more than one pick on this very board of you drinking it.........
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tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:36 PM
ENDelt260
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:47 PM   #20
FAX FAX is offline
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Wow!! The Velvet Mirkin is a beer AND a deviant sexual act.

I didn't know that.

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Old 06-27-2008, 05:48 PM   #21
FAX FAX is offline
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I think I'm going to call my next band The Velvet Merkins.

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Old 06-27-2008, 05:49 PM   #22
FAX FAX is offline
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The next thing you know, Velvet Jones is going to want a beer named after him, too.

FAX
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:49 PM   #23
FAX FAX is offline
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It's cold outside, honey ... be sure and wear your Velvet Mirkins.

FAX
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:50 PM   #24
FAX FAX is offline
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When you turn a reversible Velvet Mirkin inside out, you have a Velvet Nikrim.

FAX
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:51 PM   #25
FAX FAX is offline
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This Mirkin feels like sandpaper!! Somebody bring me a Velvet Mirkin!!

FAX
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:56 PM   #26
FAX FAX is offline
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For God's sake, be careful and don't spill that Coke on the sofa!!! That's brand new Velvet Mirkin!!

FAX
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:57 PM   #27
FAX FAX is offline
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Her panties were too tight and kept pinching her Velvet Mirkin.

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Old 06-27-2008, 06:15 PM   #28
tomahawk kid tomahawk kid is offline
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Originally Posted by ENDelt260 View Post
My tastes took time to mature. Hell, you could still find me drinking one at present under the right circumstances. Doesn't mean I'll go so far as to call it a "good beer". You could also find me in a McDonald's if I was hungry and that were the only option... doesn't make their food any less shitty.
Have I mentioned that I really fucking hate beer snobs?
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tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.tomahawk kid must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 06-27-2008, 06:24 PM   #29
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Beer heaven?

My own personal iced down keg(brand is irrelevant) and a catheter.
sec
Yeeaaah. Um...I'm going to have to go with the big angry Hitler NEIN on the catheter.

When I hear "Yes Mr. Rausch, we're going to jab this tube up yer' penis so's you don't have to get up to use the re-" I don't think it's miller time.

I think I'd have to toss my unopened can of brew betwix their eyes with as much velocity as I can muster before I GTFO...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-27-2008, 06:25 PM   #30
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Suicide bomber?
Jagermeistermuffinbomber...
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 78,092
Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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