Life Tired of Junk mail and petty-minded? get your revenge! - Page 2

**banyon** · 09-02-2008, 07:47 PM

Use "Postage Paid" Envelopes to mail a brick to junk mailers

Dear Bulk Mailer,
Please find attached to your no-postage-necessary envelope, this brick. I figured with all these great junk mails you send me every month, you'd like something in return! I know it costs twenty cents for every ounce I mail to you, so I hope it doesn't weigh too much more than an ounce.

-Resident or Homeowner

New! Give your oppinion, send pics, etc: forums

Q: How much does this cost the recipient?
A: Junk mailers PAY about twenty cents an ounce. That means an eight pound package COSTS THEM about $25. And all of the proceeds go directly to the United States Postal Service.

Q: Can you do this with email spam?
A: Sure can! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/

Q: Does this actually work?
A: Someone used my company's buisness-reply from inside the magazine, and taped it to a box. That's how I know this works

Q: What is the weight limit?
A: I've heard rumors that it is 13 ounces, but the box that was sent to the magazine I work for was twenty two pounds.

Q: Is this legal?
A: Just don't send hazardous materials (ie batteries), or things considered unhealthy (ie dirty underwear). Seriously, no dirty underwear.

Q: Are you sure I can't mail underwear?
A: Well if you do, mail me a picture. Like these: thongs

Q: Does this cost anything?
A: No. What's wrong with you

Q: Does this help American families?
A: Yes. The United States postal Service employs nearly two million people. These numbers are going down drasticly because of increased e-mail use. This junk mail program signifigantly increases USPS income generation, which allows the government to employ more people. We at Dear Bulk Mailer are pro-family, pro-jobs, and pro-America.

Q: Is this myspace?
A: No. wtf?

Q: Does this work in the UK?
A: I don't know, maybe one of my UK buddies can tell me!

Q: Do the bar codes track you?
A: No. In fact, if you put the envelopes side by side, most of them have the same barcode. They just tell the Post Office machines what type of postage they should have.

Q: How do you choose which junk mailer to send these packages to?
A: Any -- and every -- junk mailer that gives you a postage-paid envelope.

Q: Where do I get free boxes?
A: Be creative. Shoeboxes, boxes you buy things in... Even paper works if you tape it up neatly. Just make sure everything is nice and neat, and doesn't resemble some sort of unibomber contraption, and you'll be fine.

Q: Can I use this to get free postage to recipients other than junk mailers?
A: No. That is illegal, and you're stupid.

Q: Can I send drugs?
A: No, stupid!

Q: How do I show pictures of what I sent?
A: Here! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.co...wforum.php?f=5

Q: Can I send....
A: DO NOT SEND ANYTHING HARMFUL OR ILLEGAL. This is supposed to be fun and entertaining, and you should not hurt anyone in the slightest. For instance, hurting a spam company in the wallet is good...hurting a person in their mailing room is very, very bad.

"I used a shoebox, and carefully tapied it all up nice and neat. I put a week's worth of news papers fit into this one!"

-Marc

Have you ever wondered what to do with old text books that you already read for college, but can't bear to throw away? Give it new life and slap a business reply envelope to it. Ship it out and it will find a great new home at Capital One."
-Chuck

"I didn't know what to do with my old broken blender so I just shipped it to these guys. Is that okay?"

-Kim

NZoner will probably kill me for this one...

**banyon** · 09-02-2008, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

Guess who pays in the long run? The customer. Companies pass their overhead costs on to the consumer or they don't stay in business for long. If this hair-brained scheme costs - say, a credit card company $1.5 million in 2008 they'll raise their rates to cover the cost.

Sure, it will hurt them short-term and they'll possibly re-evaluate their marketing strategy but they make a lot of money with those postage-paid cards - or else they wouldn't be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to have them mailed out to everybody in the USA.

I was just posting this as a joke, but now that you mention it. Get credit card companies to raise rates and lose business would take money out of the money supply, finally a measure to combat this creeping inflation we're all exposed to.

PastorMikH · 09-05-2008, 10:51 AM

I got a mailout from Obama asking for a campaign contribution. I sent him a brief note in his self addressed, postage pre-paid envelope letting him know that I wouldn't be sending any money at this time.

**Bearcat** · 09-05-2008, 11:35 AM

This was popular when I was in college. I'd send back everything that was sent to me, including the original envelope, after ripping off my name & any personal info. If I had a couple of pieces, I'd mix them up a bit (not that the person making $6/hour to process them cared, but it was mildly entertaining anyway). After a while I noticed they started putting a "customer tracking number" on the back of the reply envelopes to scare people.

If there's an easy opt-out option, I'll always try that first, but I've never had any success with Capital One. The last time I looked, they only had a phone number to call instead of being able to do it online, and every time I've called I was on hold for over 10 minutes before giving up.

An easy opt-out option would save a ton of money in postage and resources, and they would still make their money from those interested in the offer.

**Buzz** · 09-05-2008, 01:39 PM

Hey, I work in printing and that stuff keeps me employed! I'm not going around trying to cost you your job am I

Hog's Gone Fishin · 09-05-2008, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banyon

I liked the blender idea. I think I have a few pieces of junk lying around the apartment. It'd be nice to have a camera though to see the expressions on the opening end.

Anybody else got anything better to ship back to a Credit Card company or the like?

I've got the perfect gift!

Mojo Rising · 09-05-2008, 08:27 PM

Heaven forbid a company should try to find more customers in our captalistic society. How hard is it to sort your mail and pitch what you don't want?

PastorMikH · 09-05-2008, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howie Taxeder

Hey, I work in printing and that stuff keeps me employed! I'm not going around trying to cost you your job am I

Think of it this way. I used the envelope you printed today to mail a letter to Mr. Obama informing him that I was supporting the other canidate. An envelope mind you, that could have been needlessly discarded, but instead, I gave your artistic endeavor a sense of purpose.

**Buck** · 09-05-2008, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

Oh yeah. That would be awesome.

You know the simple fix for this? Print the postage paid cards the same time the mailing labels are printed. People will be less inclined to do this trick if their own name or address shows on the postage paid card.

Variable Data Printing is not cheap at all. It wouldn't be worth it.

Also, I dont think there is anyway to print a label and a postcard/envelope at the same time.

**Nzoner** · 09-05-2008, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoBo

I'm not sure if Joe sends out anything postage paid, and if he does his customer will get stuck with the bill, not him. Anyway, I used to send those stupid cards that fall out of magazines and empty envelopes for credit card offers back on occasions. Never thought about attaching something to them...

I have a college that does a full mail drop from time to time that uses a postage paid postcard but other than that all of our advertisers are major food chains,hair and car care and the like.

**banyon** · 01-19-2009, 12:46 AM

A twist:

1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

http://www.opendonor.org/kwotes.pl?a...m=20&mr=50&ss=

**cabletech94** · 01-19-2009, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banyon

A twist:

1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

http://www.opendonor.org/kwotes.pl?a...m=20&mr=50&ss=

THIS. Is Awesome!!!!!

**Iowanian** · 01-19-2009, 08:15 AM

Several years ago I spent too much time, taking piles of junk mail from one or two and stuffing everything into the envelop of company 2 and vica versa.

When I was really, really board, I'd fill out some of the applications, with Chiefsplanet worthy answers.

Now....well, I'm just not that board anymore.

**Saulbadguy** · 01-19-2009, 08:22 AM

I guess I wasn't very creative back in the day when I was getting 3 to 4 of these a day. I'd just write "**** off" on the application and mail it back.

C-Mac · 01-19-2009, 10:35 AM

Great idea but this guy thought of it back in 1984.....
Bill Kirchenbauer

It was when he performed with the comedian Gallagher on the "Melon Crazy" video that I heard of such clever revenge.

**Buck** · 01-19-2009, 10:47 AM

You know, I've been thinking about this.

How big of an issue is it that you cant just toss the junk mail?

If you owned a company, wouldn't you want to advertise?

This "junk mail" business is huge. If junk mail stopped, Paper companies, printing companies, and the companies who sent the junk mail would go out of business.

Even though they may be annoying, they affect a lot of companies in a positive way.

So just toss it, no need to be a dick and cause companies to pay hundreds of dollars just for a laugh.

09-02-2008, 07:47 PM
banyon Supporter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Hermosa, SD Casino cash: $10176551	Tired of Junk mail and petty-minded? get your revenge! Use "Postage Paid" Envelopes to mail a brick to junk mailers Dear Bulk Mailer, Please find attached to your no-postage-necessary envelope, this brick. I figured with all these great junk mails you send me every month, you'd like something in return! I know it costs twenty cents for every ounce I mail to you, so I hope it doesn't weigh too much more than an ounce. -Resident or Homeowner New! Give your oppinion, send pics, etc: forums Q: How much does this cost the recipient? A: Junk mailers PAY about twenty cents an ounce. That means an eight pound package COSTS THEM about $25. And all of the proceeds go directly to the United States Postal Service. Q: Can you do this with email spam? A: Sure can! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/ Q: Does this actually work? A: Someone used my company's buisness-reply from inside the magazine, and taped it to a box. That's how I know this works Q: What is the weight limit? A: I've heard rumors that it is 13 ounces, but the box that was sent to the magazine I work for was twenty two pounds. Q: Is this legal? A: Just don't send hazardous materials (ie batteries), or things considered unhealthy (ie dirty underwear). Seriously, no dirty underwear. Q: Are you sure I can't mail underwear? A: Well if you do, mail me a picture. Like these: thongs Q: Does this cost anything? A: No. What's wrong with you Q: Does this help American families? A: Yes. The United States postal Service employs nearly two million people. These numbers are going down drasticly because of increased e-mail use. This junk mail program signifigantly increases USPS income generation, which allows the government to employ more people. We at Dear Bulk Mailer are pro-family, pro-jobs, and pro-America. Q: Is this myspace? A: No. wtf? Q: Does this work in the UK? A: I don't know, maybe one of my UK buddies can tell me! Q: Do the bar codes track you? A: No. In fact, if you put the envelopes side by side, most of them have the same barcode. They just tell the Post Office machines what type of postage they should have. Q: How do you choose which junk mailer to send these packages to? A: Any -- and every -- junk mailer that gives you a postage-paid envelope. Q: Where do I get free boxes? A: Be creative. Shoeboxes, boxes you buy things in... Even paper works if you tape it up neatly. Just make sure everything is nice and neat, and doesn't resemble some sort of unibomber contraption, and you'll be fine. Q: Can I use this to get free postage to recipients other than junk mailers? A: No. That is illegal, and you're stupid. Q: Can I send drugs? A: No, stupid! Q: How do I show pictures of what I sent? A: Here! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.co...wforum.php?f=5 Q: Can I send.... A: DO NOT SEND ANYTHING HARMFUL OR ILLEGAL. This is supposed to be fun and entertaining, and you should not hurt anyone in the slightest. For instance, hurting a spam company in the wallet is good...hurting a person in their mailing room is very, very bad. "I used a shoebox, and carefully tapied it all up nice and neat. I put a week's worth of news papers fit into this one!" -Marc Have you ever wondered what to do with old text books that you already read for college, but can't bear to throw away? Give it new life and slap a business reply envelope to it. Ship it out and it will find a great new home at Capital One." -Chuck "I didn't know what to do with my old broken blender so I just shipped it to these guys. Is that okay?" -Kim NZoner will probably kill me for this one...
Posts: 44,355

09-05-2008, 10:51 AM	#17
PastorMikH Will KC ever be better? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Land of Red Dirt & Necks Casino cash: $9905087	I got a mailout from Obama asking for a campaign contribution. I sent him a brief note in his self addressed, postage pre-paid envelope letting him know that I wouldn't be sending any money at this time. __________________
Posts: 20,454

09-05-2008, 11:35 AM	#18
Bearcat Would an idiot do that? Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Arizona Casino cash: $-885069	This was popular when I was in college. I'd send back everything that was sent to me, including the original envelope, after ripping off my name & any personal info. If I had a couple of pieces, I'd mix them up a bit (not that the person making $6/hour to process them cared, but it was mildly entertaining anyway). After a while I noticed they started putting a "customer tracking number" on the back of the reply envelopes to scare people. If there's an easy opt-out option, I'll always try that first, but I've never had any success with Capital One. The last time I looked, they only had a phone number to call instead of being able to do it online, and every time I've called I was on hold for over 10 minutes before giving up. An easy opt-out option would save a ton of money in postage and resources, and they would still make their money from those interested in the offer.
Posts: 59,474

09-05-2008, 01:39 PM	#19
Buzz I like Pie! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In my garage Casino cash: $10016623	Hey, I work in printing and that stuff keeps me employed! I'm not going around trying to cost you your job am I
Posts: 5,383

09-05-2008, 08:27 PM	#21
Mojo Rising Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: OC Casino cash: $10009560	Heaven forbid a company should try to find more customers in our captalistic society. How hard is it to sort your mail and pitch what you don't want?
Posts: 1,792

01-19-2009, 12:46 AM	#25
banyon Supporter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Hermosa, SD Casino cash: $10176551	A twist: 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business Reply Mail Envelope. 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold in your hand. 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away whistling. I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me. Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents. http://www.opendonor.org/kwotes.pl?a...m=20&mr=50&ss= __________________ “When war breaks out people say: 'It won't last, it's too stupid.' And war is certainly too stupid, but that doesn't prevent It from lasting.” ~Albert Camus, The Plague.
Posts: 44,355

01-19-2009, 08:15 AM	#27
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1788454	Several years ago I spent too much time, taking piles of junk mail from one or two and stuffing everything into the envelop of company 2 and vica versa. When I was really, really board, I'd fill out some of the applications, with Chiefsplanet worthy answers. Now....well, I'm just not that board anymore.
Posts: 62,934

01-19-2009, 08:22 AM	#28
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $736966	I guess I wasn't very creative back in the day when I was getting 3 to 4 of these a day. I'd just write "**** off" on the application and mail it back.
Posts: 47,020

01-19-2009, 10:35 AM	#29
C-Mac Lurker Extraordinaire Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wally World Casino cash: $-936301	Great idea but this guy thought of it back in 1984..... Bill Kirchenbauer It was when he performed with the comedian Gallagher on the "Melon Crazy" video that I heard of such clever revenge.
Posts: 5,659

01-19-2009, 10:47 AM	#30
Buck Take a Chill Pill Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South Carolina Casino cash: $6160295	You know, I've been thinking about this. How big of an issue is it that you cant just toss the junk mail? If you owned a company, wouldn't you want to advertise? This "junk mail" business is huge. If junk mail stopped, Paper companies, printing companies, and the companies who sent the junk mail would go out of business. Even though they may be annoying, they affect a lot of companies in a positive way. So just toss it, no need to be a dick and cause companies to pay hundreds of dollars just for a laugh.
Posts: 44,605