Life Tired of Junk mail and petty-minded? get your revenge!

**banyon** · 09-02-2008, 07:47 PM

Use "Postage Paid" Envelopes to mail a brick to junk mailers

Dear Bulk Mailer,
Please find attached to your no-postage-necessary envelope, this brick. I figured with all these great junk mails you send me every month, you'd like something in return! I know it costs twenty cents for every ounce I mail to you, so I hope it doesn't weigh too much more than an ounce.

-Resident or Homeowner

New! Give your oppinion, send pics, etc: forums

Q: How much does this cost the recipient?
A: Junk mailers PAY about twenty cents an ounce. That means an eight pound package COSTS THEM about $25. And all of the proceeds go directly to the United States Postal Service.

Q: Can you do this with email spam?
A: Sure can! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/

Q: Does this actually work?
A: Someone used my company's buisness-reply from inside the magazine, and taped it to a box. That's how I know this works

Q: What is the weight limit?
A: I've heard rumors that it is 13 ounces, but the box that was sent to the magazine I work for was twenty two pounds.

Q: Is this legal?
A: Just don't send hazardous materials (ie batteries), or things considered unhealthy (ie dirty underwear). Seriously, no dirty underwear.

Q: Are you sure I can't mail underwear?
A: Well if you do, mail me a picture. Like these: thongs

Q: Does this cost anything?
A: No. What's wrong with you

Q: Does this help American families?
A: Yes. The United States postal Service employs nearly two million people. These numbers are going down drasticly because of increased e-mail use. This junk mail program signifigantly increases USPS income generation, which allows the government to employ more people. We at Dear Bulk Mailer are pro-family, pro-jobs, and pro-America.

Q: Is this myspace?
A: No. wtf?

Q: Does this work in the UK?
A: I don't know, maybe one of my UK buddies can tell me!

Q: Do the bar codes track you?
A: No. In fact, if you put the envelopes side by side, most of them have the same barcode. They just tell the Post Office machines what type of postage they should have.

Q: How do you choose which junk mailer to send these packages to?
A: Any -- and every -- junk mailer that gives you a postage-paid envelope.

Q: Where do I get free boxes?
A: Be creative. Shoeboxes, boxes you buy things in... Even paper works if you tape it up neatly. Just make sure everything is nice and neat, and doesn't resemble some sort of unibomber contraption, and you'll be fine.

Q: Can I use this to get free postage to recipients other than junk mailers?
A: No. That is illegal, and you're stupid.

Q: Can I send drugs?
A: No, stupid!

Q: How do I show pictures of what I sent?
A: Here! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.co...wforum.php?f=5

Q: Can I send....
A: DO NOT SEND ANYTHING HARMFUL OR ILLEGAL. This is supposed to be fun and entertaining, and you should not hurt anyone in the slightest. For instance, hurting a spam company in the wallet is good...hurting a person in their mailing room is very, very bad.

"I used a shoebox, and carefully tapied it all up nice and neat. I put a week's worth of news papers fit into this one!"

-Marc

Have you ever wondered what to do with old text books that you already read for college, but can't bear to throw away? Give it new life and slap a business reply envelope to it. Ship it out and it will find a great new home at Capital One."
-Chuck

"I didn't know what to do with my old broken blender so I just shipped it to these guys. Is that okay?"

-Kim

NZoner will probably kill me for this one...

**Bugeater** · 09-02-2008, 07:55 PM

I'm not sure if Joe sends out anything postage paid, and if he does his customer will get stuck with the bill, not him. Anyway, I used to send those stupid cards that fall out of magazines and empty envelopes for credit card offers back on occasions. Never thought about attaching something to them...

**banyon** · 09-02-2008, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoBo

I'm not sure if Joe sends out anything postage paid, and if he does his customer will get stuck with the bill, not him. Anyway, I used to send those stupid cards that fall out of magazines and empty envelopes for credit card offers back on occasions. Never thought about attaching something to them...

I liked the blender idea. I think I have a few pieces of junk lying around the apartment. It'd be nice to have a camera though to see the expressions on the opening end.

Anybody else got anything better to ship back to a Credit Card company or the like?

**Rain Man** · 09-02-2008, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banyon

I liked the blender idea. I think I have a few pieces of junk lying around the apartment. It'd be nice to have a camera though to see the expressions on the opening end.

Anybody else got anything better to ship back to a Credit Card company or the like?

My cats' used kitty litter just goes to waste in the trash.

**Bugeater** · 09-02-2008, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banyon

I liked the blender idea. I think I have a few pieces of junk lying around the apartment. It'd be nice to have a camera though to see the expressions on the opening end.

Anybody else got anything better to ship back to a Credit Card company or the like?

I have to replace my driveway sometime, that would save me a lot of money on having all the rubble from the old one hauled away.

kstater · 09-02-2008, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoBo

I have to replace my driveway sometime, that would save me a lot of money on having all the rubble from the old one hauled away.

Excellent idea. I need to have the septic tank emptied sometime soon.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 09-05-2008, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banyon

I liked the blender idea. I think I have a few pieces of junk lying around the apartment. It'd be nice to have a camera though to see the expressions on the opening end.

Anybody else got anything better to ship back to a Credit Card company or the like?

I've got the perfect gift!

Mojo Rising · 09-05-2008, 08:27 PM

Heaven forbid a company should try to find more customers in our captalistic society. How hard is it to sort your mail and pitch what you don't want?

**Nzoner** · 09-05-2008, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoBo

I'm not sure if Joe sends out anything postage paid, and if he does his customer will get stuck with the bill, not him. Anyway, I used to send those stupid cards that fall out of magazines and empty envelopes for credit card offers back on occasions. Never thought about attaching something to them...

I have a college that does a full mail drop from time to time that uses a postage paid postcard but other than that all of our advertisers are major food chains,hair and car care and the like.

Pablo · 09-02-2008, 07:58 PM

Eh..it takes me far less time to shuffle through my mail and throw them away than it would to assemble them all and tape a box up and whatnot and ship it out.

kstater · 09-02-2008, 08:08 PM

ooh, ooooh, ooooh, a box of condoms.

Used of course.

09-02-2008, 08:12 PM

Guess who pays in the long run? The customer. Companies pass their overhead costs on to the consumer or they don't stay in business for long. If this hair-brained scheme costs - say, a credit card company $1.5 million in 2008 they'll raise their rates to cover the cost.

Sure, it will hurt them short-term and they'll possibly re-evaluate their marketing strategy but they make a lot of money with those postage-paid cards - or else they wouldn't be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to have them mailed out to everybody in the USA.

**Rain Man** · 09-02-2008, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

Guess who pays in the long run? The customer. Companies pass their overhead costs on to the consumer or they don't stay in business for long. If this hair-brained scheme costs - say, a credit card company $1.5 million in 2008 they'll raise their rates to cover the cost.

Sure, it will hurt them short-term and they'll possibly re-evaluate their marketing strategy but they make a lot of money with those postage-paid cards - or else they wouldn't be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to have them mailed out to everybody in the USA.

If they have to re-evaluate their marketing strategy, you know what that means: market research.

09-02-2008, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If they have to re-evaluate their marketing strategy, you know what that means: market research.

Oh yeah. That would be awesome.

You know the simple fix for this? Print the postage paid cards the same time the mailing labels are printed. People will be less inclined to do this trick if their own name or address shows on the postage paid card.

**Buck** · 09-05-2008, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

Oh yeah. That would be awesome.

You know the simple fix for this? Print the postage paid cards the same time the mailing labels are printed. People will be less inclined to do this trick if their own name or address shows on the postage paid card.

Variable Data Printing is not cheap at all. It wouldn't be worth it.

Also, I dont think there is anyway to print a label and a postcard/envelope at the same time.

09-02-2008, 07:47 PM	Topic Starter
banyon Supporter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Hermosa, SD Casino cash: $10176551	Tired of Junk mail and petty-minded? get your revenge! Use "Postage Paid" Envelopes to mail a brick to junk mailers Dear Bulk Mailer, Please find attached to your no-postage-necessary envelope, this brick. I figured with all these great junk mails you send me every month, you'd like something in return! I know it costs twenty cents for every ounce I mail to you, so I hope it doesn't weigh too much more than an ounce. -Resident or Homeowner New! Give your oppinion, send pics, etc: forums Q: How much does this cost the recipient? A: Junk mailers PAY about twenty cents an ounce. That means an eight pound package COSTS THEM about $25. And all of the proceeds go directly to the United States Postal Service. Q: Can you do this with email spam? A: Sure can! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/ Q: Does this actually work? A: Someone used my company's buisness-reply from inside the magazine, and taped it to a box. That's how I know this works Q: What is the weight limit? A: I've heard rumors that it is 13 ounces, but the box that was sent to the magazine I work for was twenty two pounds. Q: Is this legal? A: Just don't send hazardous materials (ie batteries), or things considered unhealthy (ie dirty underwear). Seriously, no dirty underwear. Q: Are you sure I can't mail underwear? A: Well if you do, mail me a picture. Like these: thongs Q: Does this cost anything? A: No. What's wrong with you Q: Does this help American families? A: Yes. The United States postal Service employs nearly two million people. These numbers are going down drasticly because of increased e-mail use. This junk mail program signifigantly increases USPS income generation, which allows the government to employ more people. We at Dear Bulk Mailer are pro-family, pro-jobs, and pro-America. Q: Is this myspace? A: No. wtf? Q: Does this work in the UK? A: I don't know, maybe one of my UK buddies can tell me! Q: Do the bar codes track you? A: No. In fact, if you put the envelopes side by side, most of them have the same barcode. They just tell the Post Office machines what type of postage they should have. Q: How do you choose which junk mailer to send these packages to? A: Any -- and every -- junk mailer that gives you a postage-paid envelope. Q: Where do I get free boxes? A: Be creative. Shoeboxes, boxes you buy things in... Even paper works if you tape it up neatly. Just make sure everything is nice and neat, and doesn't resemble some sort of unibomber contraption, and you'll be fine. Q: Can I use this to get free postage to recipients other than junk mailers? A: No. That is illegal, and you're stupid. Q: Can I send drugs? A: No, stupid! Q: How do I show pictures of what I sent? A: Here! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.co...wforum.php?f=5 Q: Can I send.... A: DO NOT SEND ANYTHING HARMFUL OR ILLEGAL. This is supposed to be fun and entertaining, and you should not hurt anyone in the slightest. For instance, hurting a spam company in the wallet is good...hurting a person in their mailing room is very, very bad. "I used a shoebox, and carefully tapied it all up nice and neat. I put a week's worth of news papers fit into this one!" -Marc Have you ever wondered what to do with old text books that you already read for college, but can't bear to throw away? Give it new life and slap a business reply envelope to it. Ship it out and it will find a great new home at Capital One." -Chuck "I didn't know what to do with my old broken blender so I just shipped it to these guys. Is that okay?" -Kim NZoner will probably kill me for this one...
Posts: 44,355

09-02-2008, 07:55 PM	#2
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $3992680	I'm not sure if Joe sends out anything postage paid, and if he does his customer will get stuck with the bill, not him. Anyway, I used to send those stupid cards that fall out of magazines and empty envelopes for credit card offers back on occasions. Never thought about attaching something to them...
Posts: 70,546

09-05-2008, 08:27 PM	#8
Mojo Rising Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: OC Casino cash: $10009560	Heaven forbid a company should try to find more customers in our captalistic society. How hard is it to sort your mail and pitch what you don't want?
Posts: 1,792

09-02-2008, 07:58 PM	#10
Pablo Ultrabanned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Northland Casino cash: $-1700644	Eh..it takes me far less time to shuffle through my mail and throw them away than it would to assemble them all and tape a box up and whatnot and ship it out.
Posts: 43,810

09-02-2008, 08:08 PM	#11
kstater Custom User Title Join Date: Jan 2007 Casino cash: $-1583437	ooh, ooooh, ooooh, a box of condoms. Used of course. __________________
Posts: 40,003

09-02-2008, 08:12 PM	#12
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	Guess who pays in the long run? The customer. Companies pass their overhead costs on to the consumer or they don't stay in business for long. If this hair-brained scheme costs - say, a credit card company $1.5 million in 2008 they'll raise their rates to cover the cost. Sure, it will hurt them short-term and they'll possibly re-evaluate their marketing strategy but they make a lot of money with those postage-paid cards - or else they wouldn't be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to have them mailed out to everybody in the USA.
Posts: n/a