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05-01-2009, 10:36 AM | #16 |
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Dallas, Texas
Casino cash: $10004900
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spin off:
I experienced my first real "sexually charged" kiss with a girl while watching Full House...and lost my virginity in a car behind a grain bin (out in BFE) listening to "Roll Out" by Ludacris. My life rules. |
Posts: 56,356
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05-01-2009, 10:37 AM | #17 |
Woman should only make babies
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Apartment "G UNIT!"
Casino cash: $1816136
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people get the term itself built up to be something "ATLEAST I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC?!!? I won't hijack the thread, but it the main point is if you are alcoholic, alcohol abuser, whatever you want to lie to yourself about. The point remains the same. You are still ****ing up your, and sometimes people around yourselfs life".
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05-01-2009, 10:38 AM | #18 |
a haw haw haw
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: MIZZOU
Casino cash: $26365802
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I've told this before but what the hell.
I'm making cold calls for my advertising business about 1994 and stop into an old auto parts store in downtown.Older fellas running the place by himself,we start to visit and suddenly I have to shit and bad.I ask to use the toilet he points towards the back,well what I find is a very old toilet and very small.So I do my business all the while thinking this is going to be a log and I'm going to plug this mother up. Well I flush and sure enough,oh hell,look around for a plunger and none,luckily it doesn't overflow but stops right at the top.I have a decision,do I get the hell out or politely ask the old boy if he has a plunger.I opt for the latter. Old boy's eyes get big and I swear his voice turns into Festus like as he exclaims,"What in the sam hell did you do to stop it up." Me.."sir if I just had a plunger..." "It's across the street at the video store my son is over there you'll have to go get it!" So I walk across the street meet old boy's son and after placing my request he gives a look like you've gotta be focking kidding me.He gets plunger and puts it in a grocery bag and says,"you might want to take it like this,having to walk across the streetand all."And I could tell he was ready to bust a gut laughing and I couldn't blame him. By now I am so totally embarrassed that I just want it over and realize I now have to cross a busy street in a suit with a plunger handle sticking out of a bag.I make it back over and take care of the problem and apologize.Thankfully old boy didn't ask me to return the plunger I think he knew I had been embarrassed enough to last a lifetime.
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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. |
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05-01-2009, 10:39 AM | #19 |
Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: KCMO
Casino cash: $9716885
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There I sat broken-hearted,
tried to fart, but instead I sharted.
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"I've been known to party some, but I ain't ever hurt no one. Been ashamed of things I've done, especially when, especially when, especially when I'm stoned." D.A.C. |
Posts: 393
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05-01-2009, 10:40 AM | #20 | |
Banned
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Location: Dallas, Texas
Casino cash: $10004900
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Quote:
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05-01-2009, 10:42 AM | #21 | |
Woman should only make babies
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Apartment "G UNIT!"
Casino cash: $1816136
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Quote:
It's ok I won't go all preacher on your ass, just pick up a booklet and be aware of it. Some red flags are going up if you are drinking whiskey and you hate the taste, if you are embarrssed, or if you are losing control. I am sure you got time in your day to read into it, of course your friends and the booze and your mind will try to spin what you are doing as "okay" but as time wears on you will be throwing up the next morning, recalling embarrassing drunk times, maybe in jail and it will be too late to realize it was Not okay.
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05-01-2009, 10:42 AM | #22 |
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot OVER!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Hell
Casino cash: $6629000
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Carpet? Really? Why Carpet?
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05-01-2009, 10:43 AM | #23 |
Most Valuable Villain
Join Date: Dec 2006
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I have a couple.......let me type these bitches out.
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05-01-2009, 10:43 AM | #24 |
Woman should only make babies
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Apartment "G UNIT!"
Casino cash: $1816136
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Posts: 54,562
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05-01-2009, 10:44 AM | #25 | |
Banned
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Location: Dallas, Texas
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Quote:
Softball tonight so you KNOW I'm getting wasted. $4 pitchers, $1 drafts...how could I not? |
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05-01-2009, 10:44 AM | #26 |
"Think BOOM!"
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W
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VARSITY
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I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you? |
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05-01-2009, 10:45 AM | #27 |
Woman should only make babies
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Apartment "G UNIT!"
Casino cash: $1816136
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looking forward to the booze not the event, surprise
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05-01-2009, 10:49 AM | #28 |
Beloved & Awesome CP Celebrity
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Florida
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In high school I lost a bet and had to wear makeup that was applied by the girl I lost the bet to for one day.
Other than that, probably once or twice when I got really sick after a night of drinking.
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05-01-2009, 10:49 AM | #29 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Lee's Summit
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Oh... I forgot about this gem...
I was pitching in our 10 & under baseball game. We were a horrible team but we were pretty good when I was on the mound. So we're playing the 2nd best team in the league and it's a really close ball game. I'm striking batters out left and right, next thing I know between innings my (nervous) stomach hits me where it hurts. If any of you ever played baseball at Blue Valley off 17th & topping in KCMO, you know there aren't bathrooms anywhere close to the fields. so right before I'm to go tot he mound to start our defensive inning. I had my mother go down the hill with me and I had to shit behind a tree. I came back feeling ten lbs lighter feeling like shit. That'd have to be my most embarassing moment. |
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05-01-2009, 10:50 AM | #30 | |
Forgetting 2013 season end.
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Around
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Quote:
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I did not believe in Mahomes until week 1. I've been woke ever since. I'm on board this freight train. |
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