Adoption Question

[BIG_DADDY]

Is there anyone here at the planet who has adopted a child after having their own? I am interested in getting some feedback on the dynamics of that relationship. I am also interested in hearing anything about the process you think I may need to know.

Thanks

[Brock]

Originally Posted by cabletech94

the issue with being a foster parent, is that most foster agencies what the foster child to end up with his/her family.
while you are doing a great deed, and giving a child a chance, i.e. a good home--it ultimately may just be a short time.
and please, correct me if i am wrong. this is just my experience with a foster agency recently.

I had three kids come through my house as foster kids that ended up being short term stays. Their parents were screwed up drug addicts. A couple of them ended up back with their parents, and I'm hopeful that they got their act together. The third ended up with grandparents. Then I got two in a row where it was clear that they were going to be foster kids forever and after a couple of years we made it official. You have to be careful about getting emotionally attached to them because until the day you ultimately adopt them, there's a chance that you'll lose them.

Even if I hadn't been able to adopt any of them, it was an experience that I recommend to anyone who has the means to be able to do it and really wants to make a difference in this world. All of these kids came into my house with their meager belongings in a plastic trash bag, and none of them wanted to unload their stuff from those bags because they had become conditioned to having to move on quick. When a social worker shows up to get them, they have like 15 minutes to gather up their stuff and get in the car, without any kind of explanation or anything. It was the most significant learning experience of my life, and also for the two kids I already had biologically.

[BIG_DADDY]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Ignor the clown, he's a douche. Good luck with your adoption Troy.

Well I am not 100% in just yet. Looking at late next year but I wanted to start gathering as much information as possible. Thanks though I appreciate it.

[BIG_DADDY]

Originally Posted by Brock

I had three kids come through my house as foster kids that ended up being short term stays. Their parents were screwed up drug addicts. A couple of them ended up back with their parents, and I'm hopeful that they got their act together. The third ended up with grandparents. Then I got two in a row where it was clear that they were going to be foster kids forever and after a couple of years we made it official. You have to be careful about getting emotionally attached to them because until the day you ultimately adopt them, there's a chance that you'll lose them.

Even if I hadn't been able to adopt any of them, it was an experience that I recommend to anyone who has the means to be able to do it and really wants to make a difference in this world. All of these kids came into my house with their meager belongings in a plastic trash bag, and none of them wanted to unload their stuff from those bags because they had become conditioned to having to move on quick. When a social worker shows up to get them, they have like 15 minutes to gather up their stuff and get in the car, without any kind of explanation or anything. It was the most significant learning experience of my life, and also for the two kids I already had biologically.

I know we don't have a good history at this point so I appreciate your feedback. So you have 5 kids?

[Brock]

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

I know we don't have a good history at this point so I appreciate your feedback. So you have 5 kids?

4. 2 naturally, and 2 adopted.

[BIG_DADDY]

Originally Posted by Brock

4. 2 naturally, and 2 adopted.

Well that's cool. If you don't mind me asking how do the dynamics work between your biological kids and adopted kids? Have you had any issues there? One more thing, how do you manage to spend so much time here with 4 kids? BTW I think it's awesome that you adopted two kids for what it's worth.

[Fritz88]

Originally Posted by Brock

I had three kids come through my house as foster kids that ended up being short term stays. Their parents were screwed up drug addicts. A couple of them ended up back with their parents, and I'm hopeful that they got their act together. The third ended up with grandparents. Then I got two in a row where it was clear that they were going to be foster kids forever and after a couple of years we made it official. You have to be careful about getting emotionally attached to them because until the day you ultimately adopt them, there's a chance that you'll lose them.

Even if I hadn't been able to adopt any of them, it was an experience that I recommend to anyone who has the means to be able to do it and really wants to make a difference in this world. All of these kids came into my house with their meager belongings in a plastic trash bag, and none of them wanted to unload their stuff from those bags because they had become conditioned to having to move on quick. When a social worker shows up to get them, they have like 15 minutes to gather up their stuff and get in the car, without any kind of explanation or anything. It was the most significant learning experience of my life, and also for the two kids I already had biologically.

How? Wouldn't that somehow affect how you interact with them?

[Brock]

Originally Posted by Fritz88

How? Wouldn't that somehow affect how you interact with them?

Well, if their biological parents can do the bare minimum to prove to srs that they are all better, they can get their kids back. In some cases, other family members will step forward and claim them. SRS will give the family every opportunity to do the right thing, even when it's obvious they're not really equipped to do it right. And yes, you have to keep your feelings for them under control.