Science The Hands Free Handie! - Page 2

**gblowfish** · 09-27-2012, 11:35 AM

Science at its most compassionate!

http://tinyurl.com/c2j7j37

When it comes to sperm donation, these scientists are trying to give you a hand.

Researchers at Zhengzhou Central Hospital in China have created a device that helps men retrieve semen without lifting a finger.

The hands-free sperm donation machine, called a "sperm extractor," has an adaptable massager that adjusts to the height of the donor's pelvis and allows the user to manipulate the temperature, amplitude, frequency and speed, the Times Of India reported.

The machine also has a display screen and a surround sound system, presumably to help the man focus on his job without distraction.

Zhu Guoxin, director of the urology department at the Zhengzhou Central Hospital, said the extractor can be used for donation, but it's mostly likely going to be handed down to men with infertility issues.

"When a male infertility patient comes for treatment, we must first fully inspect the sperm which requires sperm extraction," he said, according to MedicalDaily.com. "This machine is only recommended for patients that had difficulty retrieving sperm."

He also stressed that anyone using the machine must use a condom and that lubricant and chemicals on condoms can affect the accuracy of the test results.

The hands-free goo-getting gadget is currently only at Zhengzhou Central Hospital, but could be coming to a fertility clinic near you soon, according to the Daily Mail, which reports that one website is already selling models of the machine for $2,800. The website is promoting it stating, "It can give patients very comfortable feeling."

Frosty · 09-27-2012, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaplin42

Not quite the same. I wasn't the 8th guy that day.

You hope, anyway.

**BigMeatballDave** · 09-27-2012, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaplin42

I wasn't the 8th guy that day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frosty

You hope, anyway.

**Rain Man** · 09-27-2012, 02:04 PM

It seems like there's an alternative market for this beyond hospitals. Just a hunch.

Nixhex · 09-27-2012, 02:11 PM

I'd be scared it would malfunction and go all Lorena Bobbit on me.

Sofa King · 09-27-2012, 02:16 PM

**gblowfish** · 09-27-2012, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaplin42

This was my first thought.

I would totally be thinking "did they sterilize this machine? How many have gone before me? If I black lighted this machine would there just be boy butter all over it?"

And that would be the end of me trying to donate.

You can ask the same question with any bar slut you take home at 2am....

kepp · 09-27-2012, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nixhex

I'd be scared it would malfunction and go all Lorena Bobbit on me.

"Dave...What are you doing, Dave? I'm afraid I cannot allow you to continue."

Molitoth · 09-27-2012, 05:42 PM

I'd PIIHB.

09-27-2012, 11:35 AM
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17586178 VARSITY	The Hands Free Handie! Science at its most compassionate! http://tinyurl.com/c2j7j37 When it comes to sperm donation, these scientists are trying to give you a hand. Researchers at Zhengzhou Central Hospital in China have created a device that helps men retrieve semen without lifting a finger. The hands-free sperm donation machine, called a "sperm extractor," has an adaptable massager that adjusts to the height of the donor's pelvis and allows the user to manipulate the temperature, amplitude, frequency and speed, the Times Of India reported. The machine also has a display screen and a surround sound system, presumably to help the man focus on his job without distraction. Zhu Guoxin, director of the urology department at the Zhengzhou Central Hospital, said the extractor can be used for donation, but it's mostly likely going to be handed down to men with infertility issues. "When a male infertility patient comes for treatment, we must first fully inspect the sperm which requires sperm extraction," he said, according to MedicalDaily.com. "This machine is only recommended for patients that had difficulty retrieving sperm." He also stressed that anyone using the machine must use a condom and that lubricant and chemicals on condoms can affect the accuracy of the test results. The hands-free goo-getting gadget is currently only at Zhengzhou Central Hospital, but could be coming to a fertility clinic near you soon, according to the Daily Mail, which reports that one website is already selling models of the machine for $2,800. The website is promoting it stating, "It can give patients very comfortable feeling."
Posts: 40,852

09-27-2012, 02:04 PM	#18
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $2768491 VARSITY	It seems like there's an alternative market for this beyond hospitals. Just a hunch. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,871

09-27-2012, 02:11 PM	#19
Nixhex Chiefn' It Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: IndepMo Casino cash: $8145142	I'd be scared it would malfunction and go all Lorena Bobbit on me.
Posts: 1,483

09-27-2012, 02:16 PM	#20
Sofa King Hello Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Dakota Casino cash: $542096 VARSITY
Posts: 23,253

09-27-2012, 05:42 PM	#23
Molitoth Mahomes Fanboi Join Date: Apr 2004 Casino cash: $2624969	I'd PIIHB.
Posts: 19,495