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Old 11-14-2014, 10:25 PM  
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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LNBS: "Beast mode." **** you, Seattle
I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:01 PM   #16
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YEAH HE'S REALLY GOOD AT THAT SHIT. LIKE A BEAST KNOW WUT IM SAYIN N WHEN HE DOES THAT TO DEFENSES HE'S ALL LIKE IN BEAST MODE ABOUT IT YOU DIG
And it starts.....work the body SNR!
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:05 PM   #17
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Iirc they started calling him beast mode in college.
Hitler started hating Jews in college.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:06 PM   #18
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Hitler started hating Jews in college.
Focus. Work the troll. I'm playing hype man tonight.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:07 PM   #19
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Truncated Cuboctahedron is a ****ing sick nickname. That's what we should start calling Houston.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:08 PM   #20
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Dave, I didn't know you were allowed to drive pussy-gettin', ass-whippin' V8 monster machines like the IROC in that pussy libbbrrulll state of yers!
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:09 PM   #21
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Truncated Cuboctahedron is a ****ing sick nickname. That's what we should start calling Houston.
That's ****ing awesome dude
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:11 PM   #22
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Mother****ing Coelacanth!

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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:14 PM   #23
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That's ****ing awesome dude
And on the other side, we have Tamba 'Great Rhombicuboctahedron' Hali!

Damn, those just can't go up against something as sweet as Beast Mode.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:16 PM   #24
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Mother****ing Coelacanth!
Need someone with photoshop to throw some Poe hair on that bitch; but I like it. Rolls off the tongue.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:17 PM   #25
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Name for Dontari Poe:

Mother****ing Coelacanth!
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I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:17 PM   #26
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SNR is in Beast mode tonight.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:18 PM   #27
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SNR is in Beast Coelacanth mode tonight.
fixed
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:19 PM   #28
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We could always start calling Houston 'Lift Off'; if we want to stick with Seattle-level clever monikers.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:20 PM   #29
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"God" mode offends my sensibilities, I move to strike any religious references from the ChiefsPlanet calender.

Lets go with "Chump Mode".
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:20 PM   #30
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Not sure how to respond to this, but um, as a hawks fan, beastmode run real good. Have u seen him run real hard and good? He dad it. A much. Then earthquake so name him earthquake but then fans loud to beastmode cause he run hard good like beast. Beastquake!? He run good beast mode. Flippity floppity floop.
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