RUDE and off topic Best/worst pickup lines

[kc hopeful]

Well we have pretty well beat the Chiefs are playing like crap subject into the ground so how about a little juvenile humor. Most of us on occasion have spent some time in a drinking establishment and either heard our even used a line to break the ice. Example- “ You must wash your pants in Windex, cuz I can see myself in them. Or you must work at Subway,, you just gave me a foot-long. Any others that are humors or particularly clever please post below.<BR>

[KCTitus]

JC,
Outstanding, I like the the shirt becoming line as well.

[Jeff_000]

Where in the hell were you guys when I was single?? I could've been slapped twice as often!

Cormac--
The Irish thing is freaking hilarious!

I guess just whipping out your unit, pointing at it and saying "Would you like this for here or to go?" counts as rude, don't it?

MM
~~Gone too far?

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-06-2000).]

[kc hopeful]

bastard" line.

LMAO

[Gaz]

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?<BR>

[kcmax]

If a cop pulls you over for speeding, say:

"I'm sorry officer, but my wife is getting pregnant tonight, and i'd like to be there when she does."

I never had much luck with lines.........

[Luzap]

LMAO @ RCG's Squirrel and Mark's 'here or to go'.

[KC Jones]

LMAO....halves on a bastard...

But I'm not sure if the sheep would understand that one....

Why do you lead a sheep to the edge of a cliff?...It pushes back harder.

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-06-2000).]

[htismaqe]

LMAO, you guys are funny! Having never had a date I will remember these lines as things not to say when I finally try to get one. Thank you for showing me what not to do. :)
Some of the best advice my father has given me is putting down the old saying that experience is the best teacher. He has found that [i]someone else's[/i] experience is the best teacher.

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

[Snapper]

i used one in college that dealt with telling a gal about the "tiger in my pocket and how she could reach in, pull his tail, and see if she could make him roar..."

worked twice...i was drunk..."butterfacer chicks"..everything looked good, but her face..

not that i'm exactly clark gable. [img]http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/wink.gif[/img]

raiderhader: Bob Dole hopes that you've not had a date because you're young, rather than because you look like BroncoFan.

That said, the useful follow-up to the "hung like a chigger" line (which must be immediately followed by a proud smile and eyebrow wiggling, by the way), is to exclaim, "But when it's hard...OH when it's hard, I'm hung like a mosquito!"

[KC Jones]

You know Bob, I used the chigger line...but I forgot the mosquito part...now I know why it didn't work... :(

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-06-2000).]

[Snapper]

bobdole

I've never used the chigger line, but I have referenced being hung like a shetlen field mouse...with a similar delivery..

mildly effective...for a laugh..

[Mi_chief_fan]

The "bastard" is outstanding!

I wish you were a door so I could slam you
all day long.

Nice legs...what time do they open?

I may not be the best looking guy in here,
but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the
happiest woman on earth tonight.

Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can
blow the hell outta me.<P>

Bob Dole just feels (perhaps incorrectly, based on recent experience) that most women appreciate a guy who a) doesn't take himself too seriously and b) can poke fun at himself. If they don't have a sense of humor, Bob Dole isn't much interested anyway...

[htismaqe]

Senator, yes it is because I am young. 19 to be exact. I know that I am of the age, but I just can't find a girl that wants anything to do with me. Not because of my looks though. I think I might be black listed because of the hard times I have been known to give the female population. Just a guess though.

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28