Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! - Page 23

Clint in Wichita · 05-22-2003, 11:43 AM

To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all.

My first contribution, heard about a week ago:

Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

A: Not being reeruned.

Next?

Raiderhater · 05-25-2003, 05:05 PM

Ok, here is the one I was trying to think of the other day (occasionaly brothers are good for something).

There is this woman who has three closets in her bedroom, one for shoes, one for clothes, and a another for used condoms.

After having sex with a guy she throws him in the first closet. Then after having sex with a second guy she throws him in the second closet. She then has sex with a third guy and throws him in the third closet. After a year passes she goes to check on the guys starting with the one in the closet full of shoes. She finds him a bag of bones. She then checks on the one in the closet full of clothes and finds him a bag of bones as well. When she opens the closet full of used condoms she finds the guy still alive and asked him how that was possible. He said he had survived by eating the jelly donughnuts that were in the closet.

tyton75 · 11-24-2004, 10:57 AM

Bump for a good thread in the middle of a crap CHiefs season.

suds79 · 11-24-2004, 11:12 AM

Okay here's one.

I don't know why, but every time I tell this joke, it makes me laugh.
...........

What do all battered wives have in common?

They all don't know the meaning of "Shut the fuck up."

Soupnazi · 11-24-2004, 11:20 AM

So a trucker is headed out of town with a load of new bowling balls. He's running down the road, and sees a hitchhiker, stranded out in the middle of nowhere. So he pulls over, throws open the door to the cab and says "Need a ride?" The guy jumps in and they get moving again.

A few miles down the road, they come across a young black kid pushing his bike. So, being far away from any city, they pull over and offer him a ride.

Trucker: "You need a ride?"
Black kid: "yeah, I'm tired."
Trucker: "well, the cab's full, but grab your bike and jump in the back."

So they get rolling again, and a few miles down they get busted for speeding. Trooper comes over and gives him trouble, says "I need to check out what you're hauling today." Goes and takes a peek over the edge of the trailer, and jumps right back down and runs back to the cab.

Officer: "Get outta here now!"
Trucker: "Why? What's wrong?"
Officer: "You're hauling a load of n*gger eggs, and one of them already hatched and stole a bicycle!"

Soupnazi · 11-24-2004, 11:24 AM

Q: What type of watch should you buy your wife?

A: You shouldn't buy her one at all. There's already one on the stove.

Soupnazi · 11-24-2004, 11:25 AM

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A: None. It should be open when she brings it to you.

Brando · 11-24-2004, 11:26 AM

Sorry is this was already posted
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None..let that bitch was the dishes in the dark!

Brando · 11-24-2004, 11:27 AM

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing..she's already been told twice.

Brando · 11-24-2004, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

I think that's the most popular joke on this thread.

I haven't posted any of my really offensive ones on here.

Know the best part about fucking a 10 year old boy?

You get to kill him when you're done.

ya go these all wrong..it's like this:
What's the worst part about fucking a six year old girl?
Getting the blood off you clown suit.
The best part?
Flipping her over pretending she's a six year old boy!

Brando · 11-24-2004, 11:48 AM

Warning THIS IS OFFENSIVE

Couple of guys golf at their local country club. They have been offered memberships by nicer clubs but this club has robotic caddies.
One morning they go into the pro shop and see that there none of the caddies to be found.
One asks the club pro, "Where are all the robo caddies at?", pro repsonds, "The people behind you on the course were complaining about all the glare". The golfer replies, "why didn't you try painting them black?", the pro responds, "that's the problem. I painted them black. Next day three didn't show up for work and I caught two of them stealing from the pro shop."

Brando · 11-24-2004, 12:34 PM

How do you seperate the men from the boys in Greece?
With a crowbar!

MOhillbilly · 11-24-2004, 12:41 PM

Funniest shit EVAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! just make sure to turn the volume down.

http://filebox.vt.edu/users/nbowles/hardcore.wmv

**Saulbadguy** · 11-24-2004, 12:42 PM

Did you hear about the man with 5 penises?

His pants fit him like a glove.

**Saulbadguy** · 11-24-2004, 12:43 PM

Whats the difference between a woman and mashed potatoes?

Mashed potatoes can't make their own gravy.

Straight, No Chaser · 11-24-2004, 12:52 PM

Sick puppies... some of you belong locked up.

---->

05-22-2003, 11:43 AM
Clint in Wichita Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all. My first contribution, heard about a week ago: Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being reeruned. Next?
Posts: 4,458

05-25-2003, 05:05 PM	#331
Raiderhater Tried it on and it fit Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: A Webb of chaos Casino cash: $-1437979	Ok, here is the one I was trying to think of the other day (occasionaly brothers are good for something). There is this woman who has three closets in her bedroom, one for shoes, one for clothes, and a another for used condoms. After having sex with a guy she throws him in the first closet. Then after having sex with a second guy she throws him in the second closet. She then has sex with a third guy and throws him in the third closet. After a year passes she goes to check on the guys starting with the one in the closet full of shoes. She finds him a bag of bones. She then checks on the one in the closet full of clothes and finds him a bag of bones as well. When she opens the closet full of used condoms she finds the guy still alive and asked him how that was possible. He said he had survived by eating the jelly donughnuts that were in the closet. __________________ "Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules." -- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant
Posts: 29,534

11-24-2004, 10:57 AM	#332
tyton75 Veteran Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: KC North Casino cash: $3828386	Bump for a good thread in the middle of a crap CHiefs season.
Posts: 3,330

11-24-2004, 11:12 AM	#333
suds79 MVP Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $10005036	Okay here's one. I don't know why, but every time I tell this joke, it makes me laugh. ........... What do all battered wives have in common? They all don't know the meaning of "Shut the fuck up."
Posts: 5,747

11-24-2004, 11:20 AM	#334
Soupnazi Totally yummy Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The kitchen @ River Falls Casino cash: $10006400	So a trucker is headed out of town with a load of new bowling balls. He's running down the road, and sees a hitchhiker, stranded out in the middle of nowhere. So he pulls over, throws open the door to the cab and says "Need a ride?" The guy jumps in and they get moving again. A few miles down the road, they come across a young black kid pushing his bike. So, being far away from any city, they pull over and offer him a ride. Trucker: "You need a ride?" Black kid: "yeah, I'm tired." Trucker: "well, the cab's full, but grab your bike and jump in the back." So they get rolling again, and a few miles down they get busted for speeding. Trooper comes over and gives him trouble, says "I need to check out what you're hauling today." Goes and takes a peek over the edge of the trailer, and jumps right back down and runs back to the cab. Officer: "Get outta here now!" Trucker: "Why? What's wrong?" Officer: "You're hauling a load of n*gger eggs, and one of them already hatched and stole a bicycle!"
Posts: 1,212

11-24-2004, 11:24 AM	#335
Soupnazi Totally yummy Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The kitchen @ River Falls Casino cash: $10006400	Q: What type of watch should you buy your wife? A: You shouldn't buy her one at all. There's already one on the stove.
Posts: 1,212

11-24-2004, 11:25 AM	#336
Soupnazi Totally yummy Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The kitchen @ River Falls Casino cash: $10006400	Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None. It should be open when she brings it to you.
Posts: 1,212

11-24-2004, 11:26 AM	#337
Brando Swiss Family GRobinson Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $7584036	Sorry is this was already posted How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None..let that bitch was the dishes in the dark!
Posts: 2,858

11-24-2004, 11:27 AM	#338
Brando Swiss Family GRobinson Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $7584036	What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing..she's already been told twice.
Posts: 2,858

11-24-2004, 11:48 AM	#340
Brando Swiss Family GRobinson Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $7584036	Warning THIS IS OFFENSIVE Couple of guys golf at their local country club. They have been offered memberships by nicer clubs but this club has robotic caddies. One morning they go into the pro shop and see that there none of the caddies to be found. One asks the club pro, "Where are all the robo caddies at?", pro repsonds, "The people behind you on the course were complaining about all the glare". The golfer replies, "why didn't you try painting them black?", the pro responds, "that's the problem. I painted them black. Next day three didn't show up for work and I caught two of them stealing from the pro shop."
Posts: 2,858

11-24-2004, 12:34 PM	#341
Brando Swiss Family GRobinson Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $7584036	How do you seperate the men from the boys in Greece? With a crowbar!
Posts: 2,858

11-24-2004, 12:41 PM	#342
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Funniest shit EVAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! just make sure to turn the volume down. http://filebox.vt.edu/users/nbowles/hardcore.wmv
Posts: 23,371

11-24-2004, 12:42 PM	#343
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $736966	Did you hear about the man with 5 penises? His pants fit him like a glove.
Posts: 47,020

11-24-2004, 12:43 PM	#344
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $736966	Whats the difference between a woman and mashed potatoes? Mashed potatoes can't make their own gravy.
Posts: 47,020

11-24-2004, 12:52 PM	#345
Straight, No Chaser Veteran Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tempe, Arizona Casino cash: $1389209	Sick puppies... some of you belong locked up. ---->
Posts: 1,903