Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! - Page 25

Clint in Wichita · 05-22-2003, 11:43 AM

To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all.

My first contribution, heard about a week ago:

Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

A: Not being reeruned.

Next?

**KcMizzou** · 11-25-2004, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Ha. Did you notice which joke Clint started the thread with?

Heh... no, but I'll check.

Nevermind... I see it.

Slayer Diablo · 11-25-2004, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcMizzou

Ohhh.... no. I'm not playin' this game again.

Come on...this is the "Official Offensive Joke Thread"...everyone's been warned before they opened it, so unleash your worst! Besides, laughter makes people live longer, or so the legend goes...

Ultra Peanut · 11-26-2004, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Q: What did Prince Charles say to OJ?
A: That, my dear boy, is how its done.

OH, SNAP.

**RealSNR** · 11-26-2004, 12:56 AM

Q: Why was Helen Keller unable to drive?

A: Because she was a woman

Q: What did the carrot say to the n*gger?

A: fuck you

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?

A: My girlfriend and I have never had butt sex

Slayer Diablo · 11-26-2004, 01:00 AM

Joke 1: An Irishman walked out of a bar.

Joke 2: He was followed by a Scottsman.

**RealSNR** · 11-26-2004, 01:01 AM

Q: How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?

A: 4 1/2.

Q: What is pink and red and sits in a corner?

A: A baby chewing on razor blades.

Q: What is green and sits in a corner?

A: The same baby, six weeks later.

**RealSNR** · 11-26-2004, 01:03 AM

Q: How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?

A: You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a
bouquet of roses up his ass.

Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?

A: A Pedophiles ass.

Q: What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?

A: Making a bong out of it

**RealSNR** · 11-26-2004, 01:07 AM

How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
Poke holes in it with a coat hanger

How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.

What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
An erection.

**KcMizzou** · 11-26-2004, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Givemesomerep Diablo

Come on...this is the "Official Offensive Joke Thread"...everyone's been warned before they opened it, so unleash your worst! Besides, laughter makes people live longer, or so the legend goes...

Eh, the last time I posted a joke on a similar thread, I posted the EXACT same joke as the one in the thread starter.

It it inspired about 100 angry posts. (Atually about half of those were Baby Lee defending me...)

Brando · 11-26-2004, 10:16 AM

A little boy ask his mother for a bicycle but she refuses because of his bad behavior. She suggests that he spend more time praying and talking to Jesus so that he may become more Christian. She tells him that if that happens Jesus will make sure that he gets his bicycle.
Every day for a week the boy comes home and goes straight to his room and prays. His mother is quite impressed. He asks if he has been good enough to get his bicycle and she tells him that part of being a Christian is showing patience.
The whole next week he comes home and prays and at the end of the week he asks his mother again for the bicycle. His mother again tells him to be continue to be patient. After hearing this the little boy grabs his coat and starts for the door. When his mother asks where he is going he tells her that he is going to church to talk to Jesus.
A few hours later his mother walks into his room to find him with a statue of the Virgin Mary from their church. She looks over the boys shoulder and sees a note that he is writing. It reads, "Dear Jesus, I got your fuckin' momma. If you want to see here again you'll bring me my new bicycle."

Brando · 11-26-2004, 10:20 AM

Shortly after the crash that killed Princess Di, Dodi Fayed meets up with Henri Paul in heaven. He turns to him and says, "you fuckin' @sshole. I told you that I wanted to fuck Di in the tunnel. Not fuckin' die in the tunnel."

tyton75 · 12-09-2004, 04:30 PM

bump for the perverts on CP today

Molitoth · 12-09-2004, 04:56 PM

What 3 things can you not give a negro?

A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.

Slayer Diablo · 12-25-2004, 04:08 PM

Alright, so there's a lot more PETA crap out there right now, but there are two in particular that inspired this....

The first is a dog on a plate (a chihuahua to be exact) and the words "You Eat Other Animals, Don't You?" (couldn't find a picture of this on the internet yet, so if it pops up, please post it)

The second is a dog chewing on a fish that's still hooked to the fishing pole with the words "You wouldn't do this to your dog, so why do it to a fish?" (Picture below)

What came after seeing this is pretty nasty (and a bit offensive to some people, but I believe that this thread proves that most funny things are offensive, right? :shurg: )....my oldest brother came up with the idea, and I did the photoshop work. The parody organization shall be called "People for the Ethical Treatment of People." (Picture Below)

The following is not for the weak-stomached...you've been warned.

...

Beatlemanu · 02-04-2005, 03:50 PM

I'm just posting on this thread because I love Jessica Simpson's avatar...

05-22-2003, 11:43 AM
Clint in Wichita Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all. My first contribution, heard about a week ago: Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being reeruned. Next?
Posts: 4,458

11-26-2004, 01:00 AM	#365
Slayer Diablo Cross with me Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $9994900	Joke 1: An Irishman walked out of a bar. Joke 2: He was followed by a Scottsman.
Posts: 11,673

11-26-2004, 10:16 AM	#370
Brando Swiss Family GRobinson Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $7584036	A little boy ask his mother for a bicycle but she refuses because of his bad behavior. She suggests that he spend more time praying and talking to Jesus so that he may become more Christian. She tells him that if that happens Jesus will make sure that he gets his bicycle. Every day for a week the boy comes home and goes straight to his room and prays. His mother is quite impressed. He asks if he has been good enough to get his bicycle and she tells him that part of being a Christian is showing patience. The whole next week he comes home and prays and at the end of the week he asks his mother again for the bicycle. His mother again tells him to be continue to be patient. After hearing this the little boy grabs his coat and starts for the door. When his mother asks where he is going he tells her that he is going to church to talk to Jesus. A few hours later his mother walks into his room to find him with a statue of the Virgin Mary from their church. She looks over the boys shoulder and sees a note that he is writing. It reads, "Dear Jesus, I got your fuckin' momma. If you want to see here again you'll bring me my new bicycle."
Posts: 2,858

11-26-2004, 10:20 AM	#371
Brando Swiss Family GRobinson Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $7584036	Shortly after the crash that killed Princess Di, Dodi Fayed meets up with Henri Paul in heaven. He turns to him and says, "you fuckin' @sshole. I told you that I wanted to fuck Di in the tunnel. Not fuckin' die in the tunnel."
Posts: 2,858

12-09-2004, 04:30 PM	#372
tyton75 Veteran Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: KC North Casino cash: $3838386	bump for the perverts on CP today
Posts: 3,330

12-09-2004, 04:56 PM	#373
Molitoth Mahomes Fanboi Join Date: Apr 2004 Casino cash: $234969	What 3 things can you not give a negro? A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.
Posts: 20,293

12-25-2004, 04:08 PM	#374
Slayer Diablo Cross with me Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $9994900	Alright, so there's a lot more PETA crap out there right now, but there are two in particular that inspired this.... The first is a dog on a plate (a chihuahua to be exact) and the words "You Eat Other Animals, Don't You?" (couldn't find a picture of this on the internet yet, so if it pops up, please post it) The second is a dog chewing on a fish that's still hooked to the fishing pole with the words "You wouldn't do this to your dog, so why do it to a fish?" (Picture below) What came after seeing this is pretty nasty (and a bit offensive to some people, but I believe that this thread proves that most funny things are offensive, right? :shurg: )....my oldest brother came up with the idea, and I did the photoshop work. The parody organization shall be called "People for the Ethical Treatment of People." (Picture Below) The following is not for the weak-stomached...you've been warned. ... Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 11,673

02-04-2005, 03:50 PM	#375
Beatlemanu Soccer Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: At home Casino cash: $10004900	I'm just posting on this thread because I love Jessica Simpson's avatar... __________________ - SoccerGossip.com - BayMazing.com - PakMailFremont.com -
Posts: 591