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12-24-2012, 10:15 PM | #376 |
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No, she's not obligated to like them, but she is obligated to be truthful and not hide things from her future spouse.
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12-24-2012, 10:17 PM | #377 |
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If I'm aware of somebody talking shit about my family whether in confidence or not, I'm done with them. YMMV.
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12-24-2012, 10:18 PM | #378 |
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31 years ago I wasn't overly impressed with my fiance's family. Today they are every bit as important and special to me as my own and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
31 years ago if my fiance had been snooping through my private letters he wouldn't be my husband today. That's just wrong.
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12-24-2012, 10:20 PM | #379 |
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If she can't be honest with him about it it's the tip of the iceberg. I've seen many of my friends make this mistake over the years.
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12-24-2012, 10:21 PM | #380 |
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This is complete bullshit. You don't think it's wrong for her to hide shit? She obviously doesn't have the guts to be honest with him.
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12-24-2012, 10:23 PM | #381 |
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two things...
1) you don't trust her, your actions verify this...there has to be a reason why...my guess is you know the answer to that...no trust means a foundation bulit on dishonesty...and now, from both sides...i 2) most people find what they are looking..for..you have to ask yourself, waht if it's true? does the possibillty of inlaw perceptions and relationships interfering exist? and if so, what are you willing to DO about it... |
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12-24-2012, 10:24 PM | #382 |
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Many of you are talking about her not being honest? How honest is it for him to be going through her texts????
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12-24-2012, 10:25 PM | #383 | |
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Quote:
In this case, we are missing a ton of context and the exact wording... but if it was truly vicious and mean spirited... that's just not the kind of person I would be comfortable spending my life with. But again, without knowing more, you may be blowing things out of proportion and interpreting it to be far worse than it really is. If your assessment IS correct though, she doesn't sound like a very nice person and if it were me I'd start working on an exit strategy. |
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12-24-2012, 10:27 PM | #384 | |
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Quote:
**** it, end it now and don't even try to find out what it may be like 30 years later.
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12-24-2012, 10:28 PM | #385 |
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my last girlfriend and I never, not one time, felt the need to read each other's text messages.
When I was 18 my first girlfriend and I were having serious issues. I moved away to college and broke up with her, found out she started hanging out with one of my close friends from back home and it turned into a huge competition to see who would win. This is my favorite relationship because it taught me everything to NEVER do again. One time she was over and I took her phone and threatened to read her text messages and she FREAKED out. I knew then and there that A) the relationship was over and B) my God I'd never put myself in that situation again. Since then I've picked four girlfriends all from the same mold. They simply never work out, so I need to re-brand myself I think, but the last thing either of us would ever do would be to read each other's text messages behind one another's back. I wouldn't even think about it, and we'd leave our phones around unattended at each other's places consistently. I would never want to date someone like I dated in high school (after we broke up the first time). Competition relationships were awful and after it took me a good 6 months and a college dropout when I was 18 the first time around...I learned REAL quick. BUT...that is one lesson I'm glad I learned. |
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12-24-2012, 10:29 PM | #386 | |
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Quote:
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A D with Sneed is a D indeed. |
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12-24-2012, 10:32 PM | #387 |
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of course the last two girlfriends of mine and I have broken up because I date college seniors who always move away when the relationships get good and I'm too much of a dipshit to take a chance and move with...or as my friends put it, "Rick why do all of your girlfriends always move 3000 miles away after three months with you?" which is something I should probably look in to.
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12-24-2012, 10:32 PM | #388 | |
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BTW I disagree with those here who say he should start with an apology about it.. that's not going to help one bit. If I was in his shoes I would confront her about the problem and treat the reading of each other's texts texts as if it is not an issue and act as if she is the crazy one if she tries to make it an issue. Of course, I wouldn't be in the market to salvage things with a chick who says vicious things behind, my back about my family. EDIT: Just to be clear, I don't read other's texts but I certainly don't have a problem when they read mine. Even if they think they are being sneaky about it. |
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12-24-2012, 10:34 PM | #389 |
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12-24-2012, 10:37 PM | #390 |
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Relationships are about trust and communication. If the relationship is lacking those 2 key things, it is doomed. All it takes is for one partner to lose trust in the other and that's when the vicious cycle begins. That person resents the other for lying and that person resents the other for snooping.
Eventually someone will get sick of the shit and leave. |
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