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Old 07-07-2010, 09:28 AM  
loochy loochy is offline
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What's the worst sex you've ever had?
Looking in the pics forum I got to wondering. What is it? This is not a poll, but stories. What made it terrible?! Was it a fat body?... bad breath?... hj in front of your father?... a dead fish?... a blow up doll?... a vagrant you picked up down town?... bad hygiene?... blackmailed?... I was sober and she was a drunk Orca, but as desperate as you?...

Let's hear 'em.

Sorry if this is a repost, but things change day to day so f you.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:36 AM   #31
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv View Post
No way in hell you stick in her ass and not know it.
I think you just answered Metrolike's question from yesterday.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:36 AM   #32
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siberian khatru View Post
I think you just answered Metrolike's question from yesterday.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:48 AM   #33
ToxSocks ToxSocks is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoHuge39 View Post
Dude you are so full of shit (sorry it's the most appropriate term). Like others have said there is no slipping into her ass unless you are in fact a needle dick. Plenty of girls like it, but if you just went and tried to jam it in your dick will bend in half or she is going to knock you through a ****ing wall. This is an astroglide needed several minute process of getting it in unless you're a complete douche and don't care about hurting the girl. You couldn't tell the difference? It's like trying to stick your dick into a coke bottle!! "The horrendous smell of shit?" Further proof this didn't happen.

You sound like a 15 year-old virgin to be completely honest. Everything you said is just dead ass wrong. I don't see in any way how you could have any experience with a girls dirty balloon knot after posting what you did. I agree with everyone else........bull shit.
A bit harsh but, yeah.

All the work that it takes to get it in there makes it not worth it. Lots of lube+patience and a couple of "owe, owe, owes" kinda kills it. And it doesn't even really feel better IMO.

With that said, i'd still take it if given the chance, lol. I tell my girl all the time, "if you just let me have it when i want it, I won't really want it anymore"
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:56 AM   #34
Pants Pants is offline
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Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
A bit harsh but, yeah.

"if you just let me have it when i want it, I won't really want it anymore"
Holy shit, I've said that so many times. It's just the fact that boys always want what they can't get. The fact that a given girl won't let me even touch it, makes me want it that much more.
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Old 07-07-2010, 11:07 AM   #35
ToxSocks ToxSocks is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Metrolike View Post
Holy shit, I've said that so many times. It's just the fact that boys always want what they can't get. The fact that a given girl won't let me even touch it, makes me want it that much more.
Exactly. It's not that it really feels that much better. It's the fact that your doing her in the Butt; something taboo. Ha!
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Old 07-07-2010, 11:08 AM   #36
JohninGpt JohninGpt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairplay View Post
I was jacking off in a friends bathroom when I looked over and saw a peephole right across from me.

Spoiled the whole moment.
Were you hanging out at Bucks friends house?
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:34 PM   #37
MMXcalibur MMXcalibur is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoHuge39 View Post
Dude you are so full of shit (sorry it's the most appropriate term). Like others have said there is no slipping into her ass unless you are in fact a needle dick. Plenty of girls like it, but if you just went and tried to jam it in your dick will bend in half or she is going to knock you through a ****ing wall. This is an astroglide needed several minute process of getting it in unless you're a complete douche and don't care about hurting the girl. You couldn't tell the difference? It's like trying to stick your dick into a coke bottle!! "The horrendous smell of shit?" Further proof this didn't happen.

You sound like a 15 year-old virgin to be completely honest. Everything you said is just dead ass wrong. I don't see in any way how you could have any experience with a girls dirty balloon knot after posting what you did. I agree with everyone else........bull shit.
I'm not surprised.

My friends have said the same thing and they've said I was full of it also. I'm just telling the story how I remember it. To be fair, it was dark and I never actually witnessed any supposed anal. Perhaps she just farted as soon as I looked down, but I have no idea what she could have been "referencing" too other than her ass. Feel free to call bullshit though, because it certainly hasn't been the first time.

I do ask that you don't poke fun at my massive 3'' erection though.
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:17 PM
kindra68
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:18 PM   #38
kindra68 kindra68 is offline
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Out drinking one night got a booty call from an old “friend”. Having nothing better to do, and face time with a movie sounds good, I head over to his house.
We chill on the couch, drink a few beers, and watch a bit of whatever movie was playin. Movie was boring so we head back to his room. It’s dark; we get naked and start playing around. Next thing I know he’s all gruntin and huffin and puffin. I’m thinking WTF? And then I realize “holy shit! I think, HE thinks, he’s ****ing the hell outta me!!” so as I lay there, his sweat dripping off his face and onto my chest, my inner voice says, “damn! Now I remember why I quit ****ing him years ago! He has the smallest dick ever seen!” So with that I ramp up ol’ Meg Ryan and he gets off. well I get up, throw on my clothes, tell him thanks for the romp but I have to get home. You know, early workday and all.
The bad thing about all of this is, as I was telling this story to a friend a few years back. The look of utter shock and fear crossed her face, and it confused me. I told her it was no biggy since he had moved off and we hadn’t fooled around since then. And as she stared into my eyes and shook her head “no” she said Kindra, you do not have an inner voice, not even sober. There is no way in hell you all of a sudden got an “inner voice” when you were drunk.
And you know I thought about it and thought about it. I can be a cold hearted bitch when needed, but there’s no way, even after a few beers, that I told him he had a small dick.
And I know there was no whiskey involved that night.
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:55 PM   #39
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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It was yesterday.

My employee quit to go work for my best client doing the same thing.

A kiss on the neck and a lubricated condom might have helped.
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:00 PM   #40
Donger Donger is offline
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Other than an arm-numbing blow job, I can't really think of one. I guess probably my first time. I wasn't very good.
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:16 PM
Buzz
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:34 PM   #41
Stewie Stewie is offline
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College
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She's a 4
Tried to give a handie and about tore it off.
No satisfaction
I had to see her three days a week in physics class
BAD BAD BAD
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:44 PM   #42
Chiefspants Chiefspants is offline
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:46 PM   #43
luv luv is offline
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When I think of hand jobs and blow jobs, I think of that more as foreplay. You guys consider that sex?
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:47 PM   #44
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Met a girl at starbucks. We decided to go shag.

After a mediocre makeout session she refused to blow me. She was pretty average looking. Clothes came off, and she was COVERED in acne. Everywhere. No blowjob, the horror of it all, I went limp. Made her PPV porn to get me hard. Got hard. Attempted insertion, was still horrified completely, went limp. Went home.

Moral of the story: don't hook up with chicks unless you're actually attracted to them.
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:48 PM   #45
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
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When I think of hand jobs and blow jobs, I think of that more as foreplay. You guys consider that sex?
Does your hand or chin have a frosting spider web on it after?
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