Describe your best and worst date - Page 3

**Bwana** · 10-06-2006, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I went out with a gal once, who brought 2 friends. We did the bar with a band thing, and all night the girl was more than suggestive, and made some pretty filthy predictions of what I was to do to her, and I was fine with that. Her other friends were bitching all night about how horned up they were, to the point of annoying....I thought one was going to rub her arse on the floor like a dog in heat.

Anyhoooo....we go back to her place, of course friends in tow, as 1 was a roomate. Within a minute of being there, the date pulls this sack from beside the sofa and says "you'll never guess whats in here" I suggest its a hair dryer....wrong....she pulls out a giant pink weiner that took at least 3 hand over hands to remove from the bag.

I begin to think "self, you're going to tamp her like a fence post".....and I go back to take a leak.

I came out of the restroom after pissing and washing my hands....and in that timeframe, some other dude had arrived, and was banging the date on a washing machine 3' from the bathroom door.

you heard that right.....A guy arrived, entered the house, and entered her, within 2 minutes.

I alkwardly shuffled past to the living room to put my shoes on and leave, and the other 2 were there pulling out a sofa bed.

thats all I have to say about that.

Ouch

You win!

stevieray · 10-06-2006, 02:33 PM

worst... a very attractive young lady who was a screamer.

**Bwana** · 10-06-2006, 03:03 PM

The Worst:

I took this "girlfriend" out on a date. After the end of the night we go back to her place to play (well you know) This we going as planned when this loud WHAP comes from upstairs. I ask her what the hell was that? I have no idea she says. All of a sudden there were footsteps coming down the stairs and it is her ex boy friend. He went about 235 and was holding a tire iron. I had had time to throw on some pants, but that was about it. He asked where *** was, I look around and she had vanished. He told me to leave, I told him I wasn't going any place. He looked at me like I was nuts for not leaving and told me he was going to kill me. He takes the tire iron and starts destroying items in the room like mirrors, walls etc. I'm just standing back in the corner with a pencil in my hand. People that have had any self defense won't have to ask, those how haven't, think about it. All of a sudden *** magically appears from out of the closet. They get into a big pissing match with her standing there in her birthday suit. I'm thinking this is WAY WRONG, like two boy scouts in the same bunk wrong.

While I'm standing there in the corner in amazement, I hear yet more footsteps up stairs. I hear, Police! Tire iron boy slides the steel under the bed and tries to make a break for it past the cops...........wrong. They take him down and give him a couple of head knocks. I look at both of them a little closer and one of them is a friend of mine from high school. We step off to the side and I told him what went down. He assured me they would "take the "long way" down to the police station with a stop or two along the way to beat some sense into him.

Cops take off with tire iron boy and I ask girlfriend dearest what the fuvk that was all about? She claimed to have no idea. Needless to say, I called bullshit and kicked her to the curb on the spot.

A few months later I am walking through a bar in a little mountain town called Red Lodge about 60 miles from here and who should be sitting there on a bar stool.....you guessed it, tire iron boy. I walked up to him and said "do you remember me." He looked at me and all he could come up with was "oh shit." I hit him with a Round house kick upside the noggin and on the floor he goes, out like a light. I figured that was my cue to leave town befoe the cops showed up, which I did. I haven't seen him again.

10-06-2006, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I alkwardly shuffled past to the living room to put my shoes on and leave, and the other 2 were there pulling out a sofa bed.

thats all I have to say about that.

I really wish you had stayed. Those girls wore me out.

**Iowanian** · 10-06-2006, 02:43 PM

I'd reply further, but as I've stated, thats all I have to say about that.

One of them would have worn you out....unless you were a power lifter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I really wish you had stayed. Those girls wore me out.

**Smed1065** · 10-07-2006, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I went out with a gal once, who brought 2 friends. We did the bar with a band thing, and all night the girl was more than suggestive, and made some pretty filthy predictions of what I was to do to her, and I was fine with that. Her other friends were bitching all night about how horned up they were, to the point of annoying....I thought one was going to rub her arse on the floor like a dog in heat.

Anyhoooo....we go back to her place, of course friends in tow, as 1 was a roomate. Within a minute of being there, the date pulls this sack from beside the sofa and says "you'll never guess whats in here" I suggest its a hair dryer....wrong....she pulls out a giant pink weiner that took at least 3 hand over hands to remove from the bag.

I begin to think "self, you're going to tamp her like a fence post".....and I go back to take a leak.

I came out of the restroom after pissing and washing my hands....and in that timeframe, some other dude had arrived, and was banging the date on a washing machine 3' from the bathroom door.

you heard that right.....A guy arrived, entered the house, and entered her, within 2 minutes.

I alkwardly shuffled past to the living room to put my shoes on and leave, and the other 2 were there pulling out a sofa bed.

thats all I have to say about that.

You said what happened stayed there.

Thanks........

**Donger** · 10-06-2006, 02:35 PM

I had one encounter that was somewhat unnerving. I was dating a girl who was a few years older than myself, 15/17. She and I were having intercourse when I looked up and her little sister (13 maybe) was watching us. I naturally stopped and whispered, "Uh, your little sister is watching us." She replied, "That's okay, she likes to watch."

No thanks. Pants up and out of there.

**CosmicPal** · 10-06-2006, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

I had one encounter that was somewhat unnerving. I was dating a girl who was a few years older than myself, 15/17. She and I were having intercourse when I looked up and her little sister (13 maybe) was watching us. I naturally stopped and wispered, "Uh, your little sister is watching us." She replied, "That's okay, she likes to watch."

No thanks. Pants up and out of there.

Thank goodness you didn't reply, "Well, whaddya say she joins us."

Amnorix · 10-06-2006, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

I had one encounter that was somewhat unnerving. I was dating a girl who was a few years older than myself, 15/17. She and I were having intercourse when I looked up and her little sister (13 maybe) was watching us. I naturally stopped and whispered, "Uh, your little sister is watching us." She replied, "That's okay, she likes to watch."

No thanks. Pants up and out of there.

**Donger** · 10-06-2006, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

Yes, I know. It was on that day that I learned that females are just as, if not more, sexually precocious than males.

**morphius** · 10-06-2006, 02:40 PM

Dating? I have heard rumors of such a thing.

**Rain Man** · 10-06-2006, 02:43 PM

Best: I scored. There are a few dates that are tied for the "best".

Worst: I'd dated a gal a few times who was a real looker, but a little weird. (She was a professional psychologist who dealt with messed-up and institutionalized kids, and I think she had a little messed-upedness herself.) But did I mention that she was a real looker? Anyway, we'd been on a few dates, and when I picked her up and we were on the way to dinner, she gave me the whole rejection speech, but then wanted to finish the date anyway. Not knowing what else to do, I bought her dinner and went to a movie with her, but the conversation was quite awkward.

And of course, I've mentioned this before, but I think maybe my first date was an unwitting gay date. When I was 13, my locker partner in junior high invited me to go see a movie with him. It was a pleasant outing. Over the next few years, it became apparent that he was as flaming as a self-immolating monk, but I didn't recognize that at the time, because gay people were only invented in central Missouri in the early 90s.

**Donger** · 10-06-2006, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

And of course, I've mentioned this before, but I think maybe my first date was an unwitting gay date. When I was 13, my locker partner in junior high invited me to go see a movie with him. It was a pleasant outing. Over the next few years, it became apparent that he was as flaming as a self-immolating monk, but I didn't recognize that at the time, because gay people were only invented in central Missouri in the early 90s.

I was over at a friend's house one afternoon, just hanging out playing video games. Out of nowhere he asks, "Would you accept a blowjob from a guy?" I responded, "Errr, no. No I wouldn't." He replied, "Well, the way I see it, a mouth's a mouth." We weren't very friendly after that.

He also had a naked picture of his Mom getting out of the shower. He was very strange.

Amnorix · 10-06-2006, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

He also had a naked picture of his Mom getting out of the shower. He was very strange.

I'm trying for the life of me to figure out how he could get such a thing without getting caught and having his ass whupped...

And you and Rain Man are reminding me of a good friend of mine back in college. Very bright guy, good looking, etc., who was apparently some kind of gay guy magnet. He didn't have too much trouble getting women either, but he had about 150 hilarious stories of shaking off gay guys who had propositioned him subtlely or overtly.

Last I remember of him he was heading off to DC to serve as a page or something.

(and yes, I'm serious, he was a Poli Sci major)

**Donger** · 10-06-2006, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

I'm trying for the life of me to figure out how he could get such a thing without getting caught and having his ass whupped...

And you and Rain Man are reminding me of a good friend of mine back in college. Very bright guy, good looking, etc., who was apparently some kind of gay guy magnet. He didn't have too much trouble getting women either, but he had about 150 hilarious stories of shaking off gay guys who had propositioned him subtlely or overtly.

Last I remember of him he was heading off to DC to serve as a page or something.

(and yes, I'm serious, he was a Poli Sci major)

The picture was actually a positive negative that he apparently swiped from his father's collection. The image is seared into my mind, because he didn't just tell me; he showed me the picture and as I was studying it trying to figure out who it was, he says, "It's my Mom!"

I also don't think he was gay, but I'm not sure. Last I heard, he was married with kids. I think he was just one of those guys that was WAY over-sexed. That's all he talked about.

10-06-2006, 02:33 PM	#2
stevieray best in the biz Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Under Pressure Casino cash: $2005273	worst... a very attractive young lady who was a screamer.
Posts: 71,658

10-06-2006, 03:03 PM	#3
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2138973647	The Worst: I took this "girlfriend" out on a date. After the end of the night we go back to her place to play (well you know) This we going as planned when this loud WHAP comes from upstairs. I ask her what the hell was that? I have no idea she says. All of a sudden there were footsteps coming down the stairs and it is her ex boy friend. He went about 235 and was holding a tire iron. I had had time to throw on some pants, but that was about it. He asked where * was, I look around and she had vanished. He told me to leave, I told him I wasn't going any place. He looked at me like I was nuts for not leaving and told me he was going to kill me. He takes the tire iron and starts destroying items in the room like mirrors, walls etc. I'm just standing back in the corner with a pencil in my hand. People that have had any self defense won't have to ask, those how haven't, think about it. All of a sudden * magically appears from out of the closet. They get into a big pissing match with her standing there in her birthday suit. I'm thinking this is WAY WRONG, like two boy scouts in the same bunk wrong. While I'm standing there in the corner in amazement, I hear yet more footsteps up stairs. I hear, Police! Tire iron boy slides the steel under the bed and tries to make a break for it past the cops...........wrong. They take him down and give him a couple of head knocks. I look at both of them a little closer and one of them is a friend of mine from high school. We step off to the side and I told him what went down. He assured me they would "take the "long way" down to the police station with a stop or two along the way to beat some sense into him. Cops take off with tire iron boy and I ask girlfriend dearest what the fuvk that was all about? She claimed to have no idea. Needless to say, I called bullshit and kicked her to the curb on the spot. A few months later I am walking through a bar in a little mountain town called Red Lodge about 60 miles from here and who should be sitting there on a bar stool.....you guessed it, tire iron boy. I walked up to him and said "do you remember me." He looked at me and all he could come up with was "oh shit." I hit him with a Round house kick upside the noggin and on the floor he goes, out like a light. I figured that was my cue to leave town befoe the cops showed up, which I did. I haven't seen him again. __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you. Last edited by Bwana; 10-06-2006 at 03:13 PM..
Posts: 69,830

10-06-2006, 02:35 PM	#7
Donger "Think BOOM!" Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W Casino cash: $9789900 VARSITY	I had one encounter that was somewhat unnerving. I was dating a girl who was a few years older than myself, 15/17. She and I were having intercourse when I looked up and her little sister (13 maybe) was watching us. I naturally stopped and whispered, "Uh, your little sister is watching us." She replied, "That's okay, she likes to watch." No thanks. Pants up and out of there. __________________ I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
Posts: 182,504

10-06-2006, 02:40 PM	#11
morphius World's finest morphius Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6745027	Dating? I have heard rumors of such a thing.
Posts: 25,988

10-06-2006, 02:43 PM	#12
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $2738491 VARSITY	Best: I scored. There are a few dates that are tied for the "best". Worst: I'd dated a gal a few times who was a real looker, but a little weird. (She was a professional psychologist who dealt with messed-up and institutionalized kids, and I think she had a little messed-upedness herself.) But did I mention that she was a real looker? Anyway, we'd been on a few dates, and when I picked her up and we were on the way to dinner, she gave me the whole rejection speech, but then wanted to finish the date anyway. Not knowing what else to do, I bought her dinner and went to a movie with her, but the conversation was quite awkward. And of course, I've mentioned this before, but I think maybe my first date was an unwitting gay date. When I was 13, my locker partner in junior high invited me to go see a movie with him. It was a pleasant outing. Over the next few years, it became apparent that he was as flaming as a self-immolating monk, but I didn't recognize that at the time, because gay people were only invented in central Missouri in the early 90s. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,876