The most random PM I've ever received. - Page 3

Direckshun · 10-23-2007, 12:53 PM

I don't even care about posting this.

I just received a PM from a guy I've never talked to and I have no idea what the hell he's talking about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redrum_69

Title: Bass T. Ardson

DUDE...last night I went over to his house...he collects Texas Chainsaw massacre movie memorabilia. He has a signed amputated limb from Jessica Alba, who happened to be at opening night at the China Theatre in Hollywood. He bought it off EBAY from the seller, who said his best friend knows the costume designer from the set and the costume designers neighbor was dating the woman who helped Jessica Albas cousin get a VIP pass to the premiere. Bass paid over $4500.000 for this limb...and it looks like a cow leg. Bass said it was a legit limb from the movie set, because it came with a certificate of authenticity. Which..brings me to the point of this story...I think if you and I can go down to the Body Parts Inc store and buy up all the new and used body parts...we could sign them with sharpies, go to Kinko's and make letters of authenticity and sell them on EBAY to fools like Bass.

Anyways..we had chili last night that had a wierd taste to it and I thought I was chewing on some fingernails, but I dont know. Bass said it was a little family recipe he had learned a long time ago. Did you know he had a new H3 Hummer out back? the tags are from Alaska, but he says it was a joke. LOL he cracks me up. Bass, last week, was driving a GMC Jimmy, and it had a broken passenger side door, but he said he was able to get it off with the chainsaw. His way of thinking it all backwoods-ish, but...he has the charisma of Tom Cruise.

Bass is also thinking of opening up a butcher shop and a junkyard too. He has alot of torn up vehicles and goes through a new one once a week.

Next weekend, he wants you to stop by...he muttered something about how you laughed at him last week. He said if you come over, bring the alcohol and you'll get hammered.

Direckshun · 10-23-2007, 02:12 PM

Paula Groundpounder

JaMartin JaSmithereens

**Buck** · 10-23-2007, 02:20 PM

Bass T. Ardson - Bastard Son

Simply Red · 10-23-2007, 02:29 PM

Today, 04:15 PM
Rachel Oregee

Redrum_69
Veteran

Joined: Jun 2005
I just got written up again. I dont get it. Rachel Oregee told me never to use her name on the intercom again. But her Husband had came through security downstairs, went through the metal detectors and set them off. He pulled out a capgun that their son had slipped into his briefcase..or so he said. When asked what his full name was he screamed outloud "Buttrice Oregee...but you can call me Butt." Instead of everyone calling for extra security, I had to help the security off the floor from laughing so hard. Jim Cravers passed out and had a seizure from laughing. I announced over the intercom if "Rachel would come downstairs and get the Butt Oregee out of the metal detectors." Its her freakin name. The Oregee's have not heard the last of me. My neighbors cousin works down at the beauty parlor and said that Rachel Oregee comes in all the time for facials.

Demonpenz · 10-23-2007, 02:47 PM

i am trying not to laugh. but richard talledega

FAX · 10-23-2007, 02:49 PM

It's good to see that Mr. Redrum_69 is back on game.

FAX

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 10-23-2007, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pestilenceaf23

Redrum69

Paula Groundpounder

Hey, just wanted you to know that Paula put in for that job as Secondary Helper on the Janitorial Staff For First Level Supervisor on the Docks. The pay increase is .2576% higher than what we are getting, but I'm happy for her. That role is seen by alot of the higher management roles in the company and she deserves kudos for helping feed the ducks out on the lake.

In other news...JaMartin JaSmithereens took it upon himself to contact the local papers about a box of candy that was found in the trash dumpster last week. He said he didnt open them up, but he could tell by the ripped open package that the valentines day candy inside had a bite taken out of each one...and the $5 giftcard to Chicken House and Tater Salads was gone. He thought broadcasting it in the local papeers would generate a buzz about how nice of a guy he is. It was later found out, that it was a box of candy his mom bought him and he just wanted attention.

The big story of last week was when the Veterans of American Gents In Noticeable Accidents went on strike because the acronym is not very work friendly. We wont give the acronym here, but the bumper sticker they made was in poor taste due to being printed and randomly placed near the exits, which were also close to the womens restrooms.

Some of the funniest shit I've seen around here in a long time. If it wasn't so long and I could give credit where it's due, I would have posts of the week for at least a year.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 10-23-2007, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red

My neighbors cousin works down at the beauty parlor and said that Rachel Oregee comes in all the time for facials.

Simply Red · 10-23-2007, 03:04 PM

Today, 04:44 PM
Did you hear about...

Redrum_69
Veteran

Joined: Jun 2005
Candy Dimples and Renaldo Turntable....the two were caught downstairs under the stairwell. They didnt think the camera could see them, but why do you think they put up the mirrors...all the camera has to do is focus on the mirrors and it can see every angle.

My buddy works on the security staff...and last night both he and Hunter Johnson were watching the front door and re-issuing security badges. The security camera lights were off, but the unit was on. They watched the whole show, from 9:02 pm until 6:31am. Today I checked my badge, and my new name is Didyoujust Seewhatshedid. You should check your name as well, because the whole fifth and fourth floors badges did not match the owners names. Martha Dykestain said her name on the badge was so offensive she went downstairs and brought it to the attention of the head of security. When Martha opened up the door, all the security was gathered around a tv watching the whole episode last night, popcorn was still on the floor.

Anyways, my buddy has a copy of the tape and is going to send one to me.

wutamess · 10-23-2007, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red

I looked at the pond out back, and to my amazement, the Mexicans they hired last week were throwing out bread to the decoy ducks! I couldnt believe my eyes. I ran downstairs, and sat at the table, drinking my pepsi, and watching five mexicans figure out why the ducks wouldnt eat the bread. Chico, that guy that worked at the Mandarin Duck Palace at 5th and Rio, waded out to his waist, before swimming back to shore when the water fountain turned on.

Thread OVER!

Radar Chief · 10-23-2007, 03:21 PM

I was wondering WTF this was about.

Quote:

09-19-2007, 10:03 AM

Jesse

Redrum_69
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2005

Can you believe that he was selected as the new manager for the waste water treatment plant?Hes been looking for a new job and getting out of the corporate america lifestyle ever since the trial, but a water treatment plant??!?!He'll be brought up on charges there in a few months....just dont drink the water...EVER

Direckshun · 10-23-2007, 03:27 PM

SPchief · 10-23-2007, 03:41 PM

Redrum has lost his burst.

**The Franchise** · 10-23-2007, 03:43 PM

You should rename this thread:

How Redrum got his groove back.

Simply Red · 10-24-2007, 11:59 AM

Today, 01:24 PM
Sally Struther-McMitchellson

Redrum_69
Veteran

Joined: Jun 2005
Hey, Pamela Dearbie Conquistidor said her cubicle was empty when she left last night, other than the usual office paperwork. She had taken the seperation package, without doing the math after taxes, and realized that getting the paid weeks of vacation leftover from last year and this year combined before taxes were taken out, totalled over $56k. This also included her years served. After taxes, she ended up having to pay the company over $1200. I dont understand how someone can accumulate that many food receipts and IOU's from the diner downstairs. Sally said she ate biscuits and gravy down there yesterday and had to pay over eleven dollars for one biscuit and a scoop of gravy. They even made her pay for her paper plate and syrofoam cup...even the freaking water and ice. Anyways..Pamela always put all her food on IOU's and I guess the finally talley ate up all her seperation pay.

On a side note, yours was also accepted, so make sure to leave that notebook and daily planner the admin assistant bought you last week on your table. I plan on taking your chair too.

Margie says hi and good luck with your next venture. make sure to close the door when you leave tonight.

Have a happy halloween...I think you will get the office memo on what you are allowed to wear this year. No more dressing up like a beer keg.
Oh..wait..you wont be an employee. Ok..scratch that. Just remember to look both ways crossing the street when you are trick or treating.

Simply Red · 10-24-2007, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

YAY!! I got one. He rambles on and on about Treshay Stallworthington.

I'd like to read it.

10-23-2007, 02:12 PM	#31
Direckshun __ Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Springpatch Casino cash: $2123447	Paula Groundpounder JaMartin JaSmithereens
Posts: 59,688

10-23-2007, 02:20 PM	#32
Buck Take a Chill Pill Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South Carolina Casino cash: $6190295	Bass T. Ardson - Bastard Son
Posts: 44,604

10-23-2007, 02:29 PM	#33
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	Today, 04:15 PM Rachel Oregee Redrum_69 Veteran Joined: Jun 2005 I just got written up again. I dont get it. Rachel Oregee told me never to use her name on the intercom again. But her Husband had came through security downstairs, went through the metal detectors and set them off. He pulled out a capgun that their son had slipped into his briefcase..or so he said. When asked what his full name was he screamed outloud "Buttrice Oregee...but you can call me Butt." Instead of everyone calling for extra security, I had to help the security off the floor from laughing so hard. Jim Cravers passed out and had a seizure from laughing. I announced over the intercom if "Rachel would come downstairs and get the Butt Oregee out of the metal detectors." Its her freakin name. The Oregee's have not heard the last of me. My neighbors cousin works down at the beauty parlor and said that Rachel Oregee comes in all the time for facials.
Posts: 71,691

10-23-2007, 02:47 PM	#34
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-193864	i am trying not to laugh. but richard talledega __________________
Posts: 54,934

10-23-2007, 02:49 PM	#35
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	It's good to see that Mr. Redrum_69 is back on game. FAX
Posts: 44,492

10-23-2007, 03:04 PM	#38
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	Today, 04:44 PM Did you hear about... Redrum_69 Veteran Joined: Jun 2005 Candy Dimples and Renaldo Turntable....the two were caught downstairs under the stairwell. They didnt think the camera could see them, but why do you think they put up the mirrors...all the camera has to do is focus on the mirrors and it can see every angle. My buddy works on the security staff...and last night both he and Hunter Johnson were watching the front door and re-issuing security badges. The security camera lights were off, but the unit was on. They watched the whole show, from 9:02 pm until 6:31am. Today I checked my badge, and my new name is Didyoujust Seewhatshedid. You should check your name as well, because the whole fifth and fourth floors badges did not match the owners names. Martha Dykestain said her name on the badge was so offensive she went downstairs and brought it to the attention of the head of security. When Martha opened up the door, all the security was gathered around a tv watching the whole episode last night, popcorn was still on the floor. Anyways, my buddy has a copy of the tape and is going to send one to me.
Posts: 71,691

10-23-2007, 03:27 PM	#41
Direckshun __ Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Springpatch Casino cash: $2123447
Posts: 59,688

10-23-2007, 03:41 PM	#42
SPchief In Search of a Life Join Date: Feb 2004 Casino cash: $-1707095	Redrum has lost his burst. __________________ Check out SPchief's fundraising page for Special Olympics Missouri - https://support.somo.org/fundraiser/5957339 ^^^^^^^^^^ Click here to help with a special cause. Please help me out
Posts: 36,178

10-23-2007, 03:43 PM	#43
The Franchise Most Valuable Villain Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $2095047	You should rename this thread: How Redrum got his groove back.
Posts: 92,316

10-24-2007, 11:59 AM	#44
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	Today, 01:24 PM Sally Struther-McMitchellson Redrum_69 Veteran Joined: Jun 2005 Hey, Pamela Dearbie Conquistidor said her cubicle was empty when she left last night, other than the usual office paperwork. She had taken the seperation package, without doing the math after taxes, and realized that getting the paid weeks of vacation leftover from last year and this year combined before taxes were taken out, totalled over $56k. This also included her years served. After taxes, she ended up having to pay the company over $1200. I dont understand how someone can accumulate that many food receipts and IOU's from the diner downstairs. Sally said she ate biscuits and gravy down there yesterday and had to pay over eleven dollars for one biscuit and a scoop of gravy. They even made her pay for her paper plate and syrofoam cup...even the freaking water and ice. Anyways..Pamela always put all her food on IOU's and I guess the finally talley ate up all her seperation pay. On a side note, yours was also accepted, so make sure to leave that notebook and daily planner the admin assistant bought you last week on your table. I plan on taking your chair too. Margie says hi and good luck with your next venture. make sure to close the door when you leave tonight. Have a happy halloween...I think you will get the office memo on what you are allowed to wear this year. No more dressing up like a beer keg. Oh..wait..you wont be an employee. Ok..scratch that. Just remember to look both ways crossing the street when you are trick or treating.
Posts: 71,691