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Old 10-23-2007, 12:53 PM  
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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The most random PM I've ever received.
I don't even care about posting this.

I just received a PM from a guy I've never talked to and I have no idea what the hell he's talking about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redrum_69
Title: Bass T. Ardson

DUDE...last night I went over to his house...he collects Texas Chainsaw massacre movie memorabilia. He has a signed amputated limb from Jessica Alba, who happened to be at opening night at the China Theatre in Hollywood. He bought it off EBAY from the seller, who said his best friend knows the costume designer from the set and the costume designers neighbor was dating the woman who helped Jessica Albas cousin get a VIP pass to the premiere. Bass paid over $4500.000 for this limb...and it looks like a cow leg. Bass said it was a legit limb from the movie set, because it came with a certificate of authenticity. Which..brings me to the point of this story...I think if you and I can go down to the Body Parts Inc store and buy up all the new and used body parts...we could sign them with sharpies, go to Kinko's and make letters of authenticity and sell them on EBAY to fools like Bass.

Anyways..we had chili last night that had a wierd taste to it and I thought I was chewing on some fingernails, but I dont know. Bass said it was a little family recipe he had learned a long time ago. Did you know he had a new H3 Hummer out back? the tags are from Alaska, but he says it was a joke. LOL he cracks me up. Bass, last week, was driving a GMC Jimmy, and it had a broken passenger side door, but he said he was able to get it off with the chainsaw. His way of thinking it all backwoods-ish, but...he has the charisma of Tom Cruise.

Bass is also thinking of opening up a butcher shop and a junkyard too. He has alot of torn up vehicles and goes through a new one once a week.

Next weekend, he wants you to stop by...he muttered something about how you laughed at him last week. He said if you come over, bring the alcohol and you'll get hammered.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:54 PM   #2
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I got the same one. I think he's gun shy and is going back to PMing people.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:57 PM   #3
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Anyways..we had chili last night that had a wierd taste to it and I thought I was chewing on some fingernails, but I dont know. Bass said it was a little family recipe he had learned a long time ago.
Quote:
Bass, last week, was driving a GMC Jimmy, and it had a broken passenger side door, but he said he was able to get it off with the chainsaw. His way of thinking it all backwoods-ish, but...he has the charisma of Tom Cruise.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:58 PM   #4
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:00 PM   #5
JohninGpt JohninGpt is offline
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I got this a while back.

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Hey Ray....make sure to stop by tomorrow and pick up Jimmy. Just because you signed up for carpooling, dont mean you can pick up others on the way to work...otherwise stop parking out front in the carpooling spot.

Oh..and we need some Einstein Bros bagels tomorrow...get the pumpkin spread..and the cranberry bagels...
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:02 PM   #6
InChiefsHeaven InChiefsHeaven is offline
Rockin' yer FACE OFF!
 
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I got one about Auntie Friez...but I've since deleted it...
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:03 PM   #7
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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So over the weekend, the night crew spilled milk all over the floor in the employee lounge. Jimbob McElwaholmeridge slipped on the milk and was knocked unconcious. He later woke up, forgot where he was at and started walking around aimlessly...he fit right in with the rest of the night crew.

So this morning, I walk through the lounge, only to find a note scribbled in yellow crayons, asking to help feed the plants. Puzzled, I went over to my cubicle and there was Scott T. Watlick eating yogurt...or he thought it was yogurt. I asked where he got it ffrom and he said that Jimbob gave him a big bowl of it from the lounge. I guess Jimbob, in his stupor, convinced Richard Chiefawiczinski to scoop up the milk and Jimbob was offering yogurt to everyone.


These people around here are strange. Which remind me...have I ever told you the story of the Dominatrix that works at the homeless shelter at 5th and Rowe....she also works part time at the Childrens Mercy Hospital....shes such a caring person....and for $200 she'll spank you.

My personal favorite.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:06 PM   #8
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Holy shit that is the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Ooooohhhhhh my god that's awesome.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:07 PM   #9
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun


Holy shit that is the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Ooooohhhhhh my god that's awesome.
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:08 PM   #10
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:09 PM   #11
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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10-16-2007, 04:13 PM
Whopper McRonald

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Man, they had the Falcons cheerleaders down in the cafeteria signing autographs for a local charity event. Vincent Talledega was lucky to get a date from one. He said he was going to nail it between the uprights, but I bet he'll go 3 and out.

Shakazula Godspeed told me that her husband used to play pro football for the world leage in afghanistan. He said everytime the halftime show was an air raid, followed by random beatings by the other teams fans. He said the best play he seen was when a drunken fan ran across the field and was sniped by the punter.

Matilda Cornswallow was at a japanese football game in Nazazakisiki, Japan...its north of tokyo in the Quan Chi Xie province...anyways..she seen a jet fly over and everyone pulled out guns and started firing, thinking it was Norrth Korea.
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:14 PM   #12
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
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Shakazula Godspeed

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Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:27 PM   #13
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Private Message: Appeeniz Indaholle
Today, 01:31 PM
Appeeniz Indaholle

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I ran into Appeeniz downstairs just now. He was getting off the elevator as I was getting on. Hes the new intern from Adbuhlaalalallalalllaaaaalallrat Temple of Foreign Things. He spoke in clear Turkish. He was laughing at my halloweeen costume, but his was even better. I knew they rode camels over there in Egypt or Africa...wherever he was from...but to ride one to work today and park it in the handicap section of the carpooling area was ingenious. What he clearly lacks in common sense he makes up for it in creativity. He has been over here for a week, and I think if he can fit in here, he can fit in anywhere.


ADBULAHAHAHROLOL MEZICIBARRUROOROW
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:31 PM   #14
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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I wonder if he finds these online or if he's writing them himself. No one can deny the guy has some artistic ability with all the yo mamma jokes. Pretty funny.
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Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:33 PM   #15
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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YAY!! I got one. He rambles on and on about Treshay Stallworthington.
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