At what age...

[el borracho]

do little girls become graceful? My niece (12 years old) is visiting and she is grossing me out everytime she eats. Lip-smacking, crunching and grunting, labored breathing- it's like listening to a Rottweiler eat a whole chicken. Is this normal or should she be more aware of table etiquette by age 12?

[el borracho]

Originally Posted by Joie

I don't know any 12 year olds that would politely walk up to a peer and say, "I think you need to work on your etiquette". She may not be aware of her own behavior and it's the responsibility of the adults in her life to encourage her to eat in a ladylike manner.

I guess I imagined some good humored teasing from friends but I didn't consider the other scenario that Phobia mentioned which would be catty, mean-spirited gossip that she wouldn't even know about. Mild teasing is no big deal- everyone gets teased about something at some time but the potential for ridicule and alienation is a legit concern. I'll have to speak with her and/ or her mom about it because it really is noticable.

[bowener]

Originally Posted by Laz

yes, she'll probably have to learn the hard way by getting made fun of



although i still eat waaaaaaaaay too fast ... our school lunch hour was too short and so i had to learn how to "inhale". Then the same thing happened at work when you're too busy.

Yeah that sucks. In high school we had 20 minutes to eat between the bells... i have eaten like a speed freak since then.

[Lzen]

Perhaps this guy would be interested in dating her?

[Skip Towne]

I always breathe through my nose so I can talk whilst I eat - Ernest T Bass

[Joie]

Originally Posted by el borracho

I guess I imagined some good humored teasing from friends but I didn't consider the other scenario that Phobia mentioned which would be catty, mean-spirited gossip that she wouldn't even know about. Mild teasing is no big deal- everyone gets teased about something at some time but the potential for ridicule and alienation is a legit concern. I'll have to speak with her and/ or her mom about it because it really is noticable.

For her sake, I think that's the best idea. Kids can be really, really cruel. Will she be with you long enough to work on her etiquette at every meal?

Please remember that it's tough to be a 12 year old girl and be gentle. Perhaps at your next meal (if it's relatively private, not in front of siblings or anyone that would make fun of her), gently encourage her to put her napkin in her lap, take small bites, eat with her mouth closed and wait until she swallows her food before speaking. Do you have an adult female in your home that can lead by example? If so, put her across the table from this individual and she'll almost certainly notice the way the adult eats. (I say this from experience because I was across the table from my 12 year old stepdaughter and she asked her dad why I was eating my appetizer with a fork)

[el borracho]

I will probably ask her grandmother to help since I know virtually nothing about kids.

[Skip Towne]

Originally Posted by el borracho

I will probably ask her grandmother to help since I know virtually nothing about kids.

That's a really good idea. Someone needs to teach the girl and I am sure she will appreciate it down the road.