Round 1, Heat 7: Miss Chiefsplanet USA Tournament.

[Rain Man]

We have a battle of sparsely populated cold states. Which two will survive the brutal northern winter and our voting?

Miss North Dakota
Miss Idaho
Miss South Dakota

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Miss NH was attractive too, in the same type of sexually assertive way. I like a woman with some moxie.

{must. not. make. joke. that ends. in 'cocksey'...}

[Frosty]

Idaho has kind of a Hayden Panettiere thing going on with that squat, muscular body.

[ToxSocks]

Originally Posted by Frosty

Idaho has kind of a Hayden Panettiere thing going on with that squat, muscular body.

If you're gonna be squatty you gotta have booty.

Denied.

[BlackHelicopters]

Miss North Dakota looks like a lot of fun. In a sweaty, sticky sort of way.

[Rain Man]

You're in a bar and the three contestants approach you. Here's what happens.

North Dakota. You buy her three umbrella drinks and she prattles about fashion for an hour and then leaves with her girlfriends.

Idaho. You buy her a Long Island Ice Tea and go out to the car and she makes out with you for a while but before you can get to second base she says she has to leave to get back to the ranch.

South Dakota. You buy her three shots of whiskey straight and end the night handcuffed to the bed of a Motel 6 begging her to either stop or give you one more Viagra.

[ToxSocks]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You're in a bar and the three contestants approach you. Here's what happens.

North Dakota. You buy her three umbrella drinks and she prattles about fashion for an hour and then leaves with her girlfriends.

Idaho. You buy her a Long Island Ice Tea and go out to the car and she makes out with you for a while but before you can get to second base she says she has to leave to get back to the ranch.

South Dakota. You buy her three shots of whiskey straight and end the night handcuffed to the bed of a Motel 6 begging her to either stop or give you one more Viagra.

Your scenario sucks.

In my scenario, I get all 3 drunk and take all of them back to the hotel.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Detoxing

Your scenario sucks.

In my scenario, I get all 3 drunk and take all of them back to the hotel.

So does Miss South Dakota. That's why she wins. If you're handcuffed to the bed of the Motel 6, there's a good chance that North Dakota and Idaho are handcuffed to the next bed.

[BlackHelicopters]

The real question is: Would Miss North Dakota pee on you if you asked nicely?

[loochy]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You're in a bar and the three contestants approach you. Here's what happens.

FYP

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by loochy

FYP

In the real world, yeah. The whole scenario is more theoretical than dark matter and black holes.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

South Dakota. You buy her three shots of whiskey straight and end the night handcuffed to the bed of a Motel 6 begging her to either stop or give you one more Viagra.

And you end up walking like a cowboy and having loose stools for the next week.

[ThaVirus]

North Dakota wins the face department.

Idaho wins the body department ( dem thighs!!! ).

South Dakota wins the not attractive department.

[Fish]

I vote that we decapitate Miss North Dakota, and sew her head onto Miss South Dakota's body...

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Fish

I vote that we decapitate Miss North Dakota, and sew her head onto Miss South Dakota's body...

What in the blue !@#$ is more attractive about South's body than Norths?

North is long, toned and actually feminine. South loses all the feminine in favor of being sinewy.

North has a great body.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

What in the blue !@#$ is more attractive about South's body than Norths?

North is long, toned and actually feminine. South loses all the feminine in favor of being sinewy.

North has a great body.

North has weird boxy hips and a belly button that looks like a meteorite impact crater.