Life I need a name for a new sex position. - Page 4

Direckshun · 07-22-2008, 11:36 AM

I don't think it's new to the universe, and I haven't consulted the Karma Sutra on this matter. But the girlfriend and I ended up in a fairly unique position by our standards and I haven't been able to locate it on any sex position websites, which will now start spamming my inbox and will probably give my computer a virus.

The closest I came to a position was what this website called the "lawn chair," but there are differences.

How Do You Get Into This Position?

Missionary. Very basic. Then you sit up, mostly on your own heels, and bring her up towards you. She does not sit all the way up, instead she holds herself up by putting both of her arms on the mattress (or surface of choice) behind her.

At this juncture, you should be sitting back on your own heels, she's facing you, her legs should be on either side of you, her hips should be against your hips, and she should be leaning back, holding herself up off the mattress with her own arms.

But How Does It Work?

At this point you'll lean on top of her. About half your body weight is being supported by her (helps if she's strong), and half is supported by putting your hands down on the mattress on either side of her.

At this point you can start gyrating and pumping your hips and it gives you an upward trajectory against her body, and at least in my situation, it feels great for me and it slams into her G-spot.

What I Need You To Do

I'm going to start a wildfire and ask for your help. I don't know what to call this name, and I'm looking for the typical sex name: short, sweet, and hilarious.

Do your best to visualize whatever the hell I just described and help me out.

MVChiefFan · 07-22-2008, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

I'm no judge of sex position names, but I think this is excellent, Mr. MVChiefFan. It has it all; illiteration, easy to remember, and accurately describes this modified missionary with the potential to end very badly. Great job.

FAX

Your "wordsmithery" always astounds me! You nailed it on the head as usual. Coming from you fax, this is a true compliment.

Adept Havelock · 07-22-2008, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

I'm no judge of sex position names, but I think this is excellent, Mr. MVChiefFan. It has it all; illiteration, easy to remember, and accurately describes this modified missionary with the potential to end very badly. Great job.

FAX

A superb assessment of a great name.

**Bowser** · 07-22-2008, 02:38 PM

The Ramma Jamma Ding Dong Slamma

SPATCH · 07-22-2008, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

I'm no judge of sex position names, but I think this is excellent, Mr. MVChiefFan. It has it all; illiteration, easy to remember, and accurately describes this modified missionary with the potential to end very badly. Great job.

FAX

Quote:

Originally Posted by MVChiefFan

Your "wordsmithery" always astounds me! You nailed it on the head as usual. Coming from you fax, this is a true compliment.

i agree except...

the word is alliteration. minor mistake in wordsmithery

BigChiefFan · 07-22-2008, 02:53 PM

Read the Kama Sutra, I'm sure this isn't a new position.

blueballs · 07-22-2008, 02:59 PM

what ever comes out of your gf's voice box
while in the act

StcChief · 07-22-2008, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigChiefFan

Read the Kama Sutra, I'm sure this isn't a new position.

it isn't.... Rocking Chair or (DotNotFeather equivlent name)
for it.

but an updated (1978?) "Jim Jones" Missionary with a twist is ok too.

FAX · 07-22-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_spatula

i agree except...

the word is alliteration. minor mistake in wordsmithery

Dang.

Sounds like ...

FAX

booger · 07-22-2008, 04:23 PM

sounds like jenga

one false move and you all fall down.

which reminds me of ring around the rosey.
///////////////////////////////////////////

Ring around the jenga.

Ring around the jenga
i slam my pecker in ya
slippy splashy
we all fall down.

**Rain Man** · 07-22-2008, 04:48 PM

The Partial Threesome.

FAX · 07-22-2008, 05:21 PM

That gives me a pretty fair idea, Mr. Rain Man. If she had a horse and, after sex, Mr. Direckshun ran him off, he could call it the El Guapo!!!

FAX

**Rain Man** · 07-22-2008, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_spatula

i agree except...

the word is alliteration. minor mistake in wordsmithery

I think there's some really sophisticated humor involved in misspelling a word as illiteration.

FAX · 07-22-2008, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I think there's some really sophisticated humor involved in misspelling a word as illiteration.

Thank you, Mr. Rain Man. I am oft misunderstood in the world of normal people. For example, I think Mr. the_spatula considers me to be alliterate.

FAX

**Rain Man** · 07-22-2008, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

Thank you, Mr. Rain Man. I am oft misunderstood in the world of normal people. For example, I think Mr. the_spatula considers me to be alliterate.

FAX

I think the world of normal people is a scam filmed on a sound stage in a California warehouse.

Easy Money · 07-23-2008, 12:11 AM

The Failed Triangle Choke

07-22-2008, 11:36 AM
Direckshun __ Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Springpatch Casino cash: $4133447	I need a name for a new sex position. I don't think it's new to the universe, and I haven't consulted the Karma Sutra on this matter. But the girlfriend and I ended up in a fairly unique position by our standards and I haven't been able to locate it on any sex position websites, which will now start spamming my inbox and will probably give my computer a virus. The closest I came to a position was what this website called the "lawn chair," but there are differences. How Do You Get Into This Position? Missionary. Very basic. Then you sit up, mostly on your own heels, and bring her up towards you. She does not sit all the way up, instead she holds herself up by putting both of her arms on the mattress (or surface of choice) behind her. At this juncture, you should be sitting back on your own heels, she's facing you, her legs should be on either side of you, her hips should be against your hips, and she should be leaning back, holding herself up off the mattress with her own arms. But How Does It Work? At this point you'll lean on top of her. About half your body weight is being supported by her (helps if she's strong), and half is supported by putting your hands down on the mattress on either side of her. At this point you can start gyrating and pumping your hips and it gives you an upward trajectory against her body, and at least in my situation, it feels great for me and it slams into her G-spot. What I Need You To Do I'm going to start a wildfire and ask for your help. I don't know what to call this name, and I'm looking for the typical sex name: short, sweet, and hilarious. Do your best to visualize whatever the hell I just described and help me out.
Posts: 59,321

07-22-2008, 02:38 PM	#48
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $3031616	The Ramma Jamma Ding Dong Slamma
Posts: 101,333

07-22-2008, 02:53 PM	#50
BigChiefFan MVP Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: In the Top 10 Casino cash: $9924205	Read the Kama Sutra, I'm sure this isn't a new position. __________________ A 35 year drought can make you thirsty.
Posts: 15,777

07-22-2008, 02:59 PM	#51
blueballs Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	what ever comes out of your gf's voice box while in the act
Posts: 14,233

07-22-2008, 04:23 PM	#54
booger Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: clear out in the sticks Casino cash: $1018550	sounds like jenga one false move and you all fall down. which reminds me of ring around the rosey. /////////////////////////////////////////// Ring around the jenga. Ring around the jenga i slam my pecker in ya slippy splashy we all fall down. __________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,512

07-22-2008, 04:48 PM	#55
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $2828491 VARSITY	The Partial Threesome. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,828

07-22-2008, 05:21 PM	#56
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	That gives me a pretty fair idea, Mr. Rain Man. If she had a horse and, after sex, Mr. Direckshun ran him off, he could call it the El Guapo!!! FAX
Posts: 44,492

07-23-2008, 12:11 AM	#60
Easy Money Starter Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oooolathe!!! Casino cash: $10004900	The Failed Triangle Choke
Posts: 34