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Old 07-07-2010, 09:28 AM  
loochy loochy is offline
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
 
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What's the worst sex you've ever had?
Looking in the pics forum I got to wondering. What is it? This is not a poll, but stories. What made it terrible?! Was it a fat body?... bad breath?... hj in front of your father?... a dead fish?... a blow up doll?... a vagrant you picked up down town?... bad hygiene?... blackmailed?... I was sober and she was a drunk Orca, but as desperate as you?...

Let's hear 'em.

Sorry if this is a repost, but things change day to day so f you.
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:49 PM   #46
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Originally Posted by GoChiefs View Post
Met a girl at starbucks. We decided to go shag.

After a mediocre makeout session she refused to blow me. She was pretty average looking. Clothes came off, and she was COVERED in acne. Everywhere. No blowjob, the horror of it all, I went limp. Made her PPV porn to get me hard. Got hard. Attempted insertion, was still horrified completely, went limp. Went home.

Moral of the story: I'm gay.

We knew it but it was brave of you to share.
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:51 PM   #47
luv luv is offline
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Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
Does your hand or chin have a frosting spider web on it after?
If I do it right. lol

Point taken.
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:55 PM   #48
Stewie Stewie is online now
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If I do it right. lol

Point taken.
It can be great foreplay. I prefer one or the other before getting down to the real work.
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Old 07-07-2010, 03:04 PM   #49
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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I had a drunk chick throw up on me in the middle of my chest once. That was pretty foul....
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Old 07-07-2010, 03:10 PM   #50
WV WV is offline
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I had a drunk chick throw up on me in the middle of my chest once. That was pretty foul....
Ummmm....gross, I think you win.
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Old 07-07-2010, 03:11 PM   #51
Donger Donger is offline
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I had a drunk chick throw up on me in the middle of my chest once. That was pretty foul....
Oh my. That is bad. But, did you finish?
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Old 07-07-2010, 03:15 PM   #52
GoHuge GoHuge is offline
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I'm not surprised.

My friends have said the same thing and they've said I was full of it also. I'm just telling the story how I remember it. To be fair, it was dark and I never actually witnessed any supposed anal. Perhaps she just farted as soon as I looked down, but I have no idea what she could have been "referencing" too other than her ass. Feel free to call bullshit though, because it certainly hasn't been the first time.

I do ask that you don't poke fun at my massive 3'' erection though.
Deal.........and I did go a little harsh so I apologize for that, but you've got to quit telling that story. It's not helping you in any way.
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Old 07-07-2010, 05:43 PM   #53
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Oh my. That is bad. But, did you finish?
No, I got what I paid for....








OK, that's probably the worst joke I've made on here evah.


I can't remember, it was 35 years ago. I do remember the girl though. It was her 21st BD and she was HAMMERED.
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Old 07-07-2010, 05:55 PM   #54
Rudy tossed tigger's salad Rudy tossed tigger's salad is offline
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no stinky vagina stories????

boooooo
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Old 07-07-2010, 06:19 PM   #55
stumppy stumppy is offline
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The worst sex ? Doesn't really matter. The worst sex I ever had was wonderful.

It's all good, just somes better than others.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:00 PM   #56
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A gal flew to Houston to meet me once. I knew her from a tech conference and remembered her to be moderately attractive... She arrived and I picked her up at the airport. Wasn't attracted to her in the slightest. I mean, she wasn't repulsive or anything. But I know that she flew a long way so I took care of business after some liquid encouragement.

I nearly had to fake it. Afterwards, I was a little loopy and couldn't believe I had hit it so I'm sitting in the hotel laughing hysterically. She probably thought I was crazy.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:03 PM   #57
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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I'm always mystified by people who say drinking makes it easier for them to have sex with ugly people. Alcohol would make arousal around an ugly person nigh impossible for me.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:08 PM   #58
Marco Polo Marco Polo is offline
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Did you hear about the worst sex I ever had? It was awesome.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:14 PM   #59
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I swear this was a friend, we were down in Mexico and he hooked up with a local girl*ahem 20 dollars*, he took her into this bathroom and bent her over the sink and when he came back out he was all smiling and stuff and the rest of us just looked in horror at him. His white shirt had a nice brown shit streak on the front of it.
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Old 07-07-2010, 10:19 PM   #60
Raiderhater Raiderhater is offline
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I swear this was a friend, we were down in Mexico and he hooked up with a local girl*ahem 20 dollars*, he took her into this bathroom and bent her over the sink and when he came back out he was all smiling and stuff and the rest of us just looked in horror at him. His white shirt had a nice brown shit streak on the front of it.

Uh huh, yeah, ok.
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