RUDE and off topic Best/worst pickup lines - Page 4

kc hopeful · 12-06-2000, 02:50 PM

Well we have pretty well beat the Chiefs are playing like crap subject into the ground so how about a little juvenile humor. Most of us on occasion have spent some time in a drinking establishment and either heard our even used a line to break the ice. Example- “ You must wash your pants in Windex, cuz I can see myself in them. Or you must work at Subway,, you just gave me a foot-long. Any others that are humors or particularly clever please post below.<BR>

12-06-2000, 04:37 PM

"Women - Henry VIII had the right idea"

Waiting for the inevitable 'head' puns to start rolling (pun intended)

Snapper · 12-06-2000, 04:38 PM

bobdole,

i've come home from dates thinking...if women didn't have one certain thing, there would be a bounty on them...in iowa the conservation used to pay $5 for a coyote ear...pest elimination...

but of course i think women are great..

raider..i don't understand much about them..women don't seem to understand each other either....I agree with women when they say we have 2 brains...ITs TRUE...the bottom one is just where we keep LOGIC, and REASON!

Good luck and good night.

KC Jones · 12-06-2000, 04:38 PM

RaiderHader, in my experience, the women that I lived for...sure didn't live for me...except to use me because they knew they could...then I started trying to ignore them and guess what...they started wondering what was wrong...sometimes too much attention is a bad thing...the thing that is weird is that the type of attentions some women want...black eyes and bruises...instead of flowers and candy...

Wow, we've gone from raunch comedy to Oprah....
------------------
joe

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-06-2000).]

Snapper · 12-06-2000, 04:38 PM

bobdole,

i've come home from dates thinking...if women didn't have one certain thing, there would be a bounty on them...in iowa the conservation used to pay $5 for a coyote ear...pest elimination...

but of course i think women are great..

raider..i don't understand much about them..women don't seem to understand each other either....I agree with women when they say we have 2 brains...ITs TRUE...the bottom one is just where we keep LOGIC, and REASON!

Good luck and good night.

htismaqe · 12-06-2000, 04:39 PM

Shakes, I don't want to date around. I know that it is very difficult to find the right girl on the first try, but I am not one of those guys who likes to be with as many differnt girls as he can. It just isn't me. Partly because of the fact that a relationship that doesn't work out can be hard. The thought of going through that lots of times, does not appeal to me.

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

kc hopeful · 12-06-2000, 04:39 PM

Gay bar pick up line

"Mind if I push up a stool".

I know I know sick-sick-sick

[This message has been edited by RCGChief (edited 12-06-2000).]

KC Jones · 12-06-2000, 04:42 PM

God granted one wish to this really religious guy and he wishes for a bridge to Hawaii...God says, of course I can do it but do know how much concrete it will take...and the logisitcs of putting the pylons into the ocean are almost beyond me...can't you think of a better wish, more suitable, to glorify me.

The guy thinks then says...Well, I wish I could understand women...

God says...two lanes or four?

12-06-2000, 04:42 PM

hater - Sounds like you might get involved emotionally too quick if you dont want to date around. (Sorry if I sound judgemental, just trying to help).

It is a real pleasure to meet a variety of the opposite sex and learn (or try to learn) what makes them tick.

I loved dating, and didnt mind when it didnt work out. It was nice just to go out with others and enjoy their company. I never read too much into a date until long after we had established a relationship (at least 3 months).

12-06-2000, 04:44 PM

Joe - Now that is funny.....

htismaqe · 12-06-2000, 04:47 PM

I really haven't had a problem with being used, it is just that we have been friends and that is what she considers me to be. You all know the old Gene Pitney song "It Hurts to be in Love"? The second chorus goes (pardon my singing voice, or lack of) - How long can I exsist, wanting lips I've never kissed? She gives all her kisses to somebody else. She thinks I'm just a friend, though it hurts I must pretend, the only way to keep her, is to keep her to myself. - Well that is my situation, and it sucks!

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

KC Jones · 12-06-2000, 04:52 PM

I'm a member of the "he man women hater club"<P>

kc hopeful · 12-06-2000, 04:56 PM

Hey where are the females they could certainly put in their $00.02 worth. I'd certainly like to hear from them.The minute you think you understand women they will pull the rug out from under you and remind you that you don't.

And $00.02 more from the peanut gallery. If you want to be noticed by women, be seen with women. Think about it. If a man and a good-looking woman walk into a room all the guys look at the girl. Guess what all the women look at the woman also. Checking out the competition if you will. The fact that a guy is seen with a woman automatically raises his stock. I could go into an exceptionally long winded explanation about this theory and experience with it but it is about time to go home.

By the way my luck with them has sucked as of late.

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"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."

htismaqe · 12-06-2000, 05:02 PM

Wolfman, in this particular case, I haven't rushed the emotional side, I have been friends with her for some time. But in general, OK maybe i am looking for love and I don't want to wait. Now I have no problem with just spending time with girls, even though they tend to drive me batty, but I don't think dating is the best way to go about that. Actually my parents don't belive in dating, because when your dating you tend to show the best side of yourself, and the pther person does the same. So neither of you really know much about the true side of the other. My parents belive that courtship is the best way to go. Because family is involved so you are sure to get a better idea of what the other person is really like. The idea is also that when you start looking, you are not just looking for fun, but you are looking for your future spouse. Also you are chaparoned(sp?) so you are not in a bad situation, if you catch my drift, and I am sure that you do. Now I will not be under these circumstances for very long now, but I still intend to look for a future mate, and not just a good time.

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

ROBHONDA · 12-06-2000, 05:03 PM

ROTHF,LMAO.

I've got to come back and read every single post on this topic.....I luv it.

This should be said to some bi%$@ that you don't like........
"Hey Babeeeeeee, wanna get lucky? Go to the zooooooooo"

------------------
Chiefs Rock

htismaqe · 12-06-2000, 05:06 PM

RCG, it would be kinda hard for this girl that i like to see me with other girls, since she is living in NM, and I am living in OK. Yes I know, a long distance relationship to start off with isn't a great idea. This has got to be sounding crazier and crazier to you guys all the time.
RCG, another thing, women are never around when you need them.

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

12-06-2000, 04:37 PM	#46
AustinChief Guest Casino cash: $	"Women - Henry VIII had the right idea" Waiting for the inevitable 'head' puns to start rolling (pun intended)
Posts: n/a

12-06-2000, 04:38 PM	#47
Snapper Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Oswego,Ks,USofA Casino cash: $10004900	bobdole, i've come home from dates thinking...if women didn't have one certain thing, there would be a bounty on them...in iowa the conservation used to pay $5 for a coyote ear...pest elimination... but of course i think women are great.. raider..i don't understand much about them..women don't seem to understand each other either....I agree with women when they say we have 2 brains...ITs TRUE...the bottom one is just where we keep LOGIC, and REASON! Good luck and good night.
Posts: 1,060

12-06-2000, 04:38 PM	#48
KC Jones Genious Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $10012761	RaiderHader, in my experience, the women that I lived for...sure didn't live for me...except to use me because they knew they could...then I started trying to ignore them and guess what...they started wondering what was wrong...sometimes too much attention is a bad thing...the thing that is weird is that the type of attentions some women want...black eyes and bruises...instead of flowers and candy... Wow, we've gone from raunch comedy to Oprah.... ------------------ joe "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst [This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-06-2000).]
Posts: 5,366

12-06-2000, 04:38 PM	#49
Snapper Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Oswego,Ks,USofA Casino cash: $10004900	bobdole, i've come home from dates thinking...if women didn't have one certain thing, there would be a bounty on them...in iowa the conservation used to pay $5 for a coyote ear...pest elimination... but of course i think women are great.. raider..i don't understand much about them..women don't seem to understand each other either....I agree with women when they say we have 2 brains...ITs TRUE...the bottom one is just where we keep LOGIC, and REASON! Good luck and good night.
Posts: 1,060

12-06-2000, 04:39 PM	#50
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $10209900	Shakes, I don't want to date around. I know that it is very difficult to find the right girl on the first try, but I am not one of those guys who likes to be with as many differnt girls as he can. It just isn't me. Partly because of the fact that a relationship that doesn't work out can be hard. The thought of going through that lots of times, does not appeal to me. ------------------ WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28
Posts: 100,064

12-06-2000, 02:50 PM
kc hopeful Starter Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: The Texas Pothandle Casino cash: $10005020	Well we have pretty well beat the Chiefs are playing like crap subject into the ground so how about a little juvenile humor. Most of us on occasion have spent some time in a drinking establishment and either heard our even used a line to break the ice. Example- “ You must wash your pants in Windex, cuz I can see myself in them. Or you must work at Subway,, you just gave me a foot-long. Any others that are humors or particularly clever please post below.<BR>
Posts: 471

12-06-2000, 04:42 PM	#52
KC Jones Genious Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $10012761	God granted one wish to this really religious guy and he wishes for a bridge to Hawaii...God says, of course I can do it but do know how much concrete it will take...and the logisitcs of putting the pylons into the ocean are almost beyond me...can't you think of a better wish, more suitable, to glorify me. The guy thinks then says...Well, I wish I could understand women... God says...two lanes or four?
Posts: 5,366

12-06-2000, 04:44 PM	#54
AustinChief Guest Casino cash: $	Joe - Now that is funny.....
Posts: n/a

12-06-2000, 04:47 PM	#55
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $10209900	I really haven't had a problem with being used, it is just that we have been friends and that is what she considers me to be. You all know the old Gene Pitney song "It Hurts to be in Love"? The second chorus goes (pardon my singing voice, or lack of) - How long can I exsist, wanting lips I've never kissed? She gives all her kisses to somebody else. She thinks I'm just a friend, though it hurts I must pretend, the only way to keep her, is to keep her to myself. - Well that is my situation, and it sucks! ------------------ WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28
Posts: 100,064

12-06-2000, 04:52 PM	#56
KC Jones Genious Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $10012761	I'm a member of the "he man women hater club"<P>
Posts: 5,366

12-06-2000, 04:56 PM	#57
kc hopeful Starter Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: The Texas Pothandle Casino cash: $10005020	Hey where are the females they could certainly put in their $00.02 worth. I'd certainly like to hear from them.The minute you think you understand women they will pull the rug out from under you and remind you that you don't. And $00.02 more from the peanut gallery. If you want to be noticed by women, be seen with women. Think about it. If a man and a good-looking woman walk into a room all the guys look at the girl. Guess what all the women look at the woman also. Checking out the competition if you will. The fact that a guy is seen with a woman automatically raises his stock. I could go into an exceptionally long winded explanation about this theory and experience with it but it is about time to go home. By the way my luck with them has sucked as of late. ------------------ "A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
Posts: 471

12-06-2000, 05:02 PM	#58
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $10209900	Wolfman, in this particular case, I haven't rushed the emotional side, I have been friends with her for some time. But in general, OK maybe i am looking for love and I don't want to wait. Now I have no problem with just spending time with girls, even though they tend to drive me batty, but I don't think dating is the best way to go about that. Actually my parents don't belive in dating, because when your dating you tend to show the best side of yourself, and the pther person does the same. So neither of you really know much about the true side of the other. My parents belive that courtship is the best way to go. Because family is involved so you are sure to get a better idea of what the other person is really like. The idea is also that when you start looking, you are not just looking for fun, but you are looking for your future spouse. Also you are chaparoned(sp?) so you are not in a bad situation, if you catch my drift, and I am sure that you do. Now I will not be under these circumstances for very long now, but I still intend to look for a future mate, and not just a good time. ------------------ WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28
Posts: 100,064

12-06-2000, 05:03 PM	#59
ROBHONDA Starter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Tampa, FL USA Casino cash: $10004900	ROTHF,LMAO. I've got to come back and read every single post on this topic.....I luv it. This should be said to some bi%$@ that you don't like........ "Hey Babeeeeeee, wanna get lucky? Go to the zooooooooo" ------------------ Chiefs Rock
Posts: 429

12-06-2000, 05:06 PM	#60
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $10209900	RCG, it would be kinda hard for this girl that i like to see me with other girls, since she is living in NM, and I am living in OK. Yes I know, a long distance relationship to start off with isn't a great idea. This has got to be sounding crazier and crazier to you guys all the time. RCG, another thing, women are never around when you need them. ------------------ WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28
Posts: 100,064