Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! - Page 4

Clint in Wichita · 05-22-2003, 11:43 AM

To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all.

My first contribution, heard about a week ago:

Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

A: Not being reeruned.

Next?

KC Jones · 05-22-2003, 01:02 PM

A man is driving down a highway in the desert when he notices a young boy walking down the road. The man pulls over, gets out of the car and walks up to the kid. "Young man, what are you doing out here all alone - where are your parents?", he says. The kid sobbing too hard to talk just points down the road towards a wrecked minivan that's burning. The man says "My god, that's awful! Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Again the kid just points to the wreckage of the minivan. "Dear lord that's horrible. Do you have an aunt or uncle - anyone to take care of you?" asks the man. The kid shakes his head no. "My god kid, this really isn't your day" says the man as he starts to undo his belt and unzip his pants.

**Baby Lee** · 05-22-2003, 01:03 PM

Chinese guy walks into a bar. The barkeeper is black. Being an inveterate racist, the chinese guy walks up and demands 'give me a jigger ******!'

What the **** did you say, son?!?!? In this day and age? How do you think that feels? Hey, step behind the bar here and I'll show you how it feels.

So the chinese guy steps behind the bar, the black steps out and back into the establishment, bellies up to the bar and yells "GIVE ME A DRINK, CHINK!!!!"

"Sorry, we don't serve ****ers here no mo."

**Iowanian** · 05-22-2003, 01:04 PM

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle's back?

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:05 PM

A girl's mother is constantly riding her about getting married. Every day, her mother says, "You're thirty-two, and you've never been married. You're thirty-two, and you've never even been engaged. Never married, never engaged. You've gotta get married." She says, "Leave me alone, Ma. Leave me alone." Her mother goes on and on, "You've gotta get married. You've gotta get married. You've gotta get married." She says, "Ma! Leave me alone!" One day she walks into the house, and she's got rice in hair. Her mother says, "You did it! You finally got married!" She says, "No. I was blowing a chink and he threw up on my head."

angel · 05-22-2003, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KcMizzou
good gawd, angel...

who'da thunk it...

come on- dead baby jokes are funny!

**Baby Lee** · 05-22-2003, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Iowanian
What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle's back?

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

- don't hold back Wan. That's one's sure to piss everyone off!!

ndbbm · 05-22-2003, 01:06 PM

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?

Acne comes on your face AFTER puberty.

**Iowanian** · 05-22-2003, 01:07 PM

BL,

You gotta dip a toe in the water to test the temp, before you just "jump in".

**Baby Lee** · 05-22-2003, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Iowanian
BL,

You gotta dip a toe in the water to test the temp, before you just "jump in".

Takes some balls to take on the 'snail lobby.'

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:12 PM

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? They've each got about one chance in ten million of ever becoming a human being.

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:13 PM

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?

A: Dress her up as an altar boy.

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:14 PM

Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms? For better traction in the mud.

siberian khatru · 05-22-2003, 01:15 PM

How do you drive Helen Keller crazy?
Lock her in a room with stucco walls.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard?
Neither did she.

bkkcoh · 05-22-2003, 01:15 PM

A sexually active young woman goes to the doctor for the yearly exam. He mentions to her that she should be taking precautions not to get pregnant, even with anal sex. The lady says, "You can't pregnant through anal sex!" The doctor says, "Oh yes you can, where do you think lawyers come from!".

**ChiTown** · 05-22-2003, 01:15 PM

A guy gets on an elevator with a big, fat woman. He says, "Can I smell your snatch?" She says, "No." He says, "Then it must be your feet."

05-22-2003, 11:43 AM
Clint in Wichita Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Let's hear the most offensive jokes you can think of! To avoid a debate, you may want to leave out the ethnic jokes. However, if you do decide to post an ethnic joke, it won't bother me at all. My first contribution, heard about a week ago: Q: What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being reeruned. Next?
Posts: 4,458

05-22-2003, 01:02 PM	#46
KC Jones Genious Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $10012761	A man is driving down a highway in the desert when he notices a young boy walking down the road. The man pulls over, gets out of the car and walks up to the kid. "Young man, what are you doing out here all alone - where are your parents?", he says. The kid sobbing too hard to talk just points down the road towards a wrecked minivan that's burning. The man says "My god, that's awful! Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Again the kid just points to the wreckage of the minivan. "Dear lord that's horrible. Do you have an aunt or uncle - anyone to take care of you?" asks the man. The kid shakes his head no. "My god kid, this really isn't your day" says the man as he starts to undo his belt and unzip his pants. __________________ re-sign: to sign again resign: to withdraw from employment
Posts: 5,366

05-22-2003, 01:03 PM	#47
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8028275	Chinese guy walks into a bar. The barkeeper is black. Being an inveterate racist, the chinese guy walks up and demands 'give me a jigger ****!' What the did you say, son?!?!? In this day and age? How do you think that feels? Hey, step behind the bar here and I'll show you how it feels. So the chinese guy steps behind the bar, the black steps out and back into the establishment, bellies up to the bar and yells "GIVE ME A DRINK, CHINK!!!!" "Sorry, we don't serve **ers here no mo." __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642

05-22-2003, 01:04 PM	#48
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1818454	What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle's back? WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Posts: 62,925

05-22-2003, 01:05 PM	#49
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $-341038	A girl's mother is constantly riding her about getting married. Every day, her mother says, "You're thirty-two, and you've never been married. You're thirty-two, and you've never even been engaged. Never married, never engaged. You've gotta get married." She says, "Leave me alone, Ma. Leave me alone." Her mother goes on and on, "You've gotta get married. You've gotta get married. You've gotta get married." She says, "Ma! Leave me alone!" One day she walks into the house, and she's got rice in hair. Her mother says, "You did it! You finally got married!" She says, "No. I was blowing a chink and he threw up on my head." __________________
Posts: 40,903

05-22-2003, 01:06 PM	#52
ndbbm No mas Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Amish Country. Casino cash: $10004900	What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? Acne comes on your face AFTER puberty.
Posts: 4,524

05-22-2003, 01:07 PM	#53
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1818454	BL, You gotta dip a toe in the water to test the temp, before you just "jump in".
Posts: 62,925

05-22-2003, 01:12 PM	#55
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $-341038	For Baby Lee What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? They've each got about one chance in ten million of ever becoming a human being. __________________
Posts: 40,903

05-22-2003, 01:13 PM	#56
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $-341038	Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an altar boy. __________________
Posts: 40,903

05-22-2003, 01:14 PM	#57
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $-341038	Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms? For better traction in the mud. __________________
Posts: 40,903

05-22-2003, 01:15 PM	#58
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $-1145050	How do you drive Helen Keller crazy? Lock her in a room with stucco walls. Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard? Neither did she.
Posts: 71,850

05-22-2003, 01:15 PM	#59
bkkcoh MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lewis Center, Ohio USA Casino cash: $9805595	A sexually active young woman goes to the doctor for the yearly exam. He mentions to her that she should be taking precautions not to get pregnant, even with anal sex. The lady says, "You can't pregnant through anal sex!" The doctor says, "Oh yes you can, where do you think lawyers come from!". __________________ Brian K. Aspire to Inspire before you Expire
Posts: 5,506

05-22-2003, 01:15 PM	#60
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $-341038	Last one.. A guy gets on an elevator with a big, fat woman. He says, "Can I smell your snatch?" She says, "No." He says, "Then it must be your feet." __________________
Posts: 40,903