Life I'm cohabitating... would appreciate any advice. - Page 5

Direckshun · 05-02-2008, 09:15 AM

Well I did the dumbest ****ing thing possible and fell in love with someone.

Now we're making plans to move in together sometime this coming fall. She's lived with a significant other before, but this is the first time I've ever done it.

So considering how green I am to the whole process, I'd appreciate the ironclad braintrust at the Planet to provide me with advice (preferably from experience) so I don't walk into bear trap after bear trap throughout this ordeal.

Thanks in advance.

crazycoffey · 05-02-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jAZ

I was lucky. I found the perfect woman and we moved in together 4-5 months after meeting. Had joint checking accounts and everything almost immediately.

Pick the right person and you have nothing to fear.

what, you bought one of those "real dolls"?

Jaz, really you are right, Direckshun - When you know, you know. If there's a voice behind you saying you're making a mistake, listen to it. Then tell phobia to get out of your house and never ever walk up behind you again....
Unless you liked it, NTTAWWT.

Silock · 05-02-2008, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adept Havelock

IMO, that piece of paper has absolutely no intrinsic value whatsoever, nor does it add much. All it does is place some legal obstacles if you decide to break up. If you need those as incentive to stay together in the rough times...as I said, each to their own.

I agree with that.

The fact that cohabitating relationships tend to fail is because of the different nature of the relationship. Each person feels more independent and they develop communication strategies based around that. It tends to be more of a "Is this person good enough for me?" approach than it is a "Am I good enough for this person, or what can I do to be a better partner for them?"

I would seriously advise working on communication. Cohabitating couples don't communicate very well because they're used to the independence aspect of the relationship.

I have a whole Powerpoint presentation complete with research studies and notes if you're REALLY interested in how to give your cohabitating relationship the best possible chance to succeed.

**mlyonsd** · 05-02-2008, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun

Well I did the dumbest ****ing thing possible and fell in love with someone.

If you truly think it's a dumb thing just show her this thread. I'm guessing the problem will go away.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 05-02-2008, 01:20 PM

If my wife and I hadn't lived together before we got married, there is no way that we would have lasted more than six months. I think it's a good way to hit the ground running, and it helps you get used to the quirks and annoyances of another without the full on pressure of marriage.

Adept Havelock · 05-02-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silock

I have a whole Powerpoint presentation complete with research studies and notes if you're REALLY interested in how to give your cohabitating relationship the best possible chance to succeed.

I appreciate the offer, but we after this many years through good times and bad, I think we're OK.

Agreed, communication is absolutely a key.

Silock · 05-02-2008, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adept Havelock

I appreciate the offer, but we after this many years through good times and bad, I think we're OK.

Agreed, communication is absolutely a key.

Sorry, that was for Direckshun

beach tribe · 05-02-2008, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

If my wife and I hadn't lived together before we got married, there is no way that we would have lasted more than six months. I think it's a good way to hit the ground running, and it helps you get used to the quirks and annoyances of another without the full on pressure of marriage.

Yep, the only reason that stat is so high is because most people get with someone, and even though they can't stand eachother, they think that the only next step is to get married, and maybe their problems will go away.
I was just in this situation, and needless, proud, and happy to say, I am single.

Adept Havelock · 05-02-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silock

Sorry, that was for Direckshun

No apologies necessary. Either way, it's kind of you to offer it. It's not an easy road, but no relationship worth having ever is.

Silock · 05-02-2008, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beach tribe

Yep, the only reason that stat is so high is because most people get with someone, and even though they can't stand eachother, they think that the only next step is to get married, and maybe their problems will go away.
I was just in this situation, and needless, proud, and happy to say, I am single.

Actually, that's barely a reason at all. The underlying problem is the insufficient methods of communication due to the individualistic nature of cohabitating relationships.

stumppy · 05-02-2008, 01:50 PM

Run Sucker run.

Demonpenz · 05-02-2008, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

Run Sucker run.

the simple messages can be the best

**Dunit35** · 05-02-2008, 02:02 PM

Take my advice

Either:

sign the lease as if you're living by yourself or she signs it herself.

DON'T SIGN IT TOGETHER!!!!!!!!

You make think you are in love and that she is the one but 8-9 months later it could be different.

stlchiefs · 05-02-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dunit35

Take my advice

Either:

sign the lease as if you're living by yourself or she signs it herself.

DON'T SIGN IT TOGETHER!!!!!!!!

You make think you are in love and that she is the one but 8-9 months later it could be different.

But that's right when Jr. shows up!

Radar Chief · 05-02-2008, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silock

Definitely the exception

Congrats

Thank you.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 05-02-2008, 02:18 PM

Your draft analysis is going to go down the shitter.

05-02-2008, 09:15 AM
Direckshun __ Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Springpatch Casino cash: $2103447	I'm cohabitating... would appreciate any advice. Well I did the dumbest ****ing thing possible and fell in love with someone. Now we're making plans to move in together sometime this coming fall. She's lived with a significant other before, but this is the first time I've ever done it. So considering how green I am to the whole process, I'd appreciate the ironclad braintrust at the Planet to provide me with advice (preferably from experience) so I don't walk into bear trap after bear trap throughout this ordeal. Thanks in advance.
Posts: 59,689

05-02-2008, 01:20 PM	#64
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $7239572	If my wife and I hadn't lived together before we got married, there is no way that we would have lasted more than six months. I think it's a good way to hit the ground running, and it helps you get used to the quirks and annoyances of another without the full on pressure of marriage. __________________ "When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
Posts: 75,077

05-02-2008, 01:50 PM	#70
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $-2201410	Run Sucker run. __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 22,320

05-02-2008, 02:02 PM	#72
Dunit35 Keepin it Real Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Oklahoma Casino cash: $-2122955	Take my advice Either: sign the lease as if you're living by yourself or she signs it herself. DON'T SIGN IT TOGETHER!!!!!!!! You make think you are in love and that she is the one but 8-9 months later it could be different.
Posts: 10,507