Married members: Did you seek permission/blessing?

[Rain Man]

As a tip, sometimes you have to sweeten the deal with a couple of goats.

[okoye35chiefs]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

As a tip, sometimes you have to sweeten the deal with a couple of goats.

Hey don't laugh..my off the boat italian Father in law brought a goat to the house the day he asked his future wife's father for his blessing in Italy. Of course this was the 30's.

When I asked him for his blessing I only brought a bottle of wine...

[tooge]

Lets put it this way. Most of the "no" posters say that they regret it, and all of the "yes" posters think it is still the right thing to do. That should answer all of your questions.

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by tooge

Lets put it this way. Most of the "no" posters say that they regret it, and all of the "yes" posters think it is still the right thing to do. That should answer all of your questions.

There are 29 "no" posters, and only two have expressed some degree of regret.

[Jenson71]

Similarly, as a sign of respect, would you ask for the father's blessing if you were getting a divorce from her? Or is respect just not that important anymore?

[The Rick]

Does her Dad secretly work for the CIA?

http://www.pastapadre.com/wordpress/...fockers-00.jpg

[penguinz]

No, not his decision.

[Dayze]

i think it truly does vary n a case by case basis.

the girl/woman's relation ship with her father, and or family.

knowing how big family was to her, well Family, I wanted to do it.
It would not have gone over well had I not from a disrespect POV. But, it worked out because I would've done it anyway.

and, as Okoye said, I don't think it's so much of asking for permission these days, but a blessing. The blessing can be denied, and yiou'll be married anyway etc, but a blessing (depending on the sort of family you're entering into) would be gravy.

of course, if you don't get a blessing, it's probably because you're a dirtbag, or the father is a prick. I'd say any stand-up, grown man would get a blessing otherwise.

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by Dayze

i think it truly does vary n a case by case basis.

the girl/woman's relation ship with her father, and or family.

knowing how big family was to her, well Family, I wanted to do it.
It would not have gone over well had I not from a disrespect situation. But, it worked out because I would've done it anyway.

Yes, in your situation, it seemed sort of compelled. If you have a daughter, are you going to seek to continue that tradition?

I do have to say, though, that it's more than a little ironic that your in-laws are divorced.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Literature

Yes, in your situation, it seemed sort of compelled. If you have a daughter, are you going to seek to continue that tradition?

I do have to say, though, that it's more than a little ironic that your in-laws are divorced.

hhmm. Good question. as of now, I would say 'yes' from the standoint of respect and appreciation.

good point. they're seriously the only ones that I know of that are divorced in her entire huge family/extended family.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Dayze

i think it truly does vary n a case by case basis.

the girl/woman's relation ship with her father, and or family.

This.

And for the record if you feel like you have to odds are you'll end up a much more happy husband...

[morphius]

I didn't ask, but he was there when I proposed. Her Mom knew it was coming though.

[Canofbier]

Never been married, have no kids. For now I'd err on the side of not asking. It seems outdated and very mildly sexist. I'm young, but I've never been in a serious relationship with a woman who seemed to find things like that important.

That being said, I don't feel so strongly about it that I wouldn't do it if I knew that it was important to either my fiancee or her family. It's a small thing to do if it means gaining the respect and affection of people you're probably going to be around the rest of your life.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Canofbier

Never been married, have no kids. For now I'd err on the side of not asking. It seems outdated and very mildly sexist. I'm young, but I've never been in a serious relationship with a woman who seemed to find things like that important.

Exactly.

You're not a father yet.

Imagine the best outcome of any woman you might want to date right now. She's perfect. You get married.

Then Imagine (yeah, I was like 25 before this hit me) that in this perfect life some half-whit-low-britches-tard has convinced your precious that he's the best thing since rock music on the radio.

He doesn't give a $3it if you like him either...

[Canofbier]

Originally Posted by Rausch

Exactly.

You're not a father yet.

Imagine the best outcome of any woman you might want to date right now. She's perfect. You get married.

Then Imagine (yeah, I was like 25 before this hit me) that in this perfect life some half-whit-low-britches-tard has convinced your precious that he's the best thing since rock music on the radio.

He doesn't give a $3it if you like him either...

Are you talking about my hypothetical daughter at this point? If my daughter is at the point that she'd happily marry someone like that, I'd have already failed. Regardless, even if I did say no, that would only serve to create division between my daughter's family and me; she already loves this guy, and it's my job as her father to support her even if I don't like the guy.

Also, I never meant to create the impression that I don't care whether her dad/family like me or not - I care about that very much. I just don't see how asking for their blessing/permission would do anything to strengthen that relationship, unless it's something that they specifically want.