Got Tazerd Tonight

Otter · 08-07-2005, 12:50 AM

So I decided to go out to the bars with my girlfriend and some friends. Everything is going well when all of a sudden one of my girlfriends friends come out of nowhere crying and saying she wants to go home.

Apparently a cab wasn’t good enough for this little diva by her standards or more importantly my girl’s standards so I wind up driving her home.

No problem right. WRONG.

After driving her across town (still completely sober) I get back downtown, park the truck and start walking to the bar where my friends are at. All of a sudden behind me I hear “yo tough guy!”.

Apparently this guy is the reason she was crying. I still don’t know if he’s an ex-boyfriend or what the hell his relationship is with her.

I assume he’s not talking to me and keep walking. Next thing I know I get shoved from behind and turn around just in time to get a bottle broken over my head. I’m down on one knee and the self preservation instinct kicks in so I get back up, tackle the guy and start wrestling around.

I’m on top getting the better of the guy and all of a sudden ZAP!!! A cop who obviously didn’t know what was going on besides what he saw after I got up hit me with a tazer.

If you’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing a stun gun I don’t know how else to describe it besides filling a bathtub full of water and dropping in a toaster. Your whole body stiffens up, the pain is quick but sharp as a knife and you’re completely helpless for about 10 seconds.

The bouncers across the street eventually stepped in and explained what happened but I now have four stitches in my head, been stun gunned by a cop, my truck is still downtown and I told my girlfriend to fuck off and leave me alone because I was pissed off and bleeding because that little bitch couldn't take a cab.

That's not even including the hospital and legal bullshit.

My cell is off, the door is locked and I’m getting piss drunk all by myself. What a flucking night. I'm marrying a big fat ugly homely beast tommorow so I never have to go through this again.

I’m too freaking old for this shit.

Sure-Oz · 08-07-2005, 12:57 AM

did the other dicklick get tazored too? that freakin blows ass, sorry about your shitty night.

Otter · 08-07-2005, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sure-Oz

did the other dicklick get tazored too? that freakin blows ass, sorry about your shitty night.

I don't think so, we were both handcuffed when I woke up.

Hammock Parties · 08-07-2005, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

I don't think so, we were both handcuffed when I woke up.

Whoa! You didn't mention this.

Now it is clear what happened. That was no cop.

You were tag-teamed by DenverChief and Anton. After rendering you unconscious, they drug you back to their ass-aultery lair and had their way with you. The handcuffs were a nice touch.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

The rest is just me getting ass-raped by the whole situation.

You can say that again!

Otter · 08-07-2005, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gochiefs

Whoa! You didn't mention this.

Now it is clear what happened. That was no cop.

You were tag-teamed by DenverChief and Anton. After rendering you unconscious, they drug you back to their ass-aultery lair and had their way with you. The handcuffs were a nice touch.

You can say that again!

You'll find out one day, hopefully, that character is more important in a person than whether or not they live up to your beliefs of what is right and wrong.

I'd have a beer with DenverChief before you anyday.

Not too beat up too bag on GoatCheese, that's a good sign.

Quote:

Look at the bright side. At least it wasn't a clown that tazered you!

I'm way ahead of you. ;D

I'm going to break out the Jamison for a few shots and throw Dumb and Dumber in the DVD. Thanks for listening to me vent fellas.

**luv** · 08-07-2005, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

You'll find out one day, hopefully, that character is more important in a person than whether or not they live up to your beliefs of what is right and wrong.

I'd have a beer with DenverChief before you anyday.

Not too beat up too bag on GoatCheese, that's a good sign.

I'm way ahead of you. ;D

I'm going to break out the Jamison for a few shots and throw Dumb and Dumber in the DVD. Thanks for listening to me vent fellas.

Yeah, that's me. Just one of the guys. Have fun, and get to feeling better.

Hammock Parties · 08-07-2005, 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

You'll find out one day, hopefully, that character is more important in a person than whether or not they live up to your beliefs of what is right and wrong.

What the hell? You're completely off base here.

Logical · 08-07-2005, 01:00 AM

Man that sucks Otter, on the other hand it will make a great tale to tell at some future date while hanging with your buds.

Hammock Parties · 08-07-2005, 01:02 AM

All that and no sex? Your gf owes you.

Otter · 08-07-2005, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gochiefs

All that and no sex? Your gf owes you.

If I had any brains like I did when I was in college I would have offered to walk that broad up to her place, pretended like I cared about what happened over a drink and bent her over the sink.

I'm losing my touch in old age.

Sure-Oz · 08-07-2005, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

If I had any brains like I did when I was in college I would have offered to walk that broad up to her place, pretended like I cared about what happened over a drink and bent her over the sink.

I'm losing my touch in old age.

A definite donkey punch is in order for her regardless!

dtrain · 08-07-2005, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gochiefs

All that and no sex? Your gf owes you.

Sh*t she owes you a threesome!!!

Mr Grimm · 08-07-2005, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dtrain

Sh*t she owes you a threesome!!!

i take it the electric nipple clips are out?

Otter · 08-07-2005, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlib Logiclost

Man that sucks Otter, on the other hand it will make a great tale to tell at some future date while hanging with your buds.

Sad part about is the only redeeming part of the story is that I didn't get KOed by the bottle. The rest is just me getting ass-raped by the whole situation.

I need to get married and settle down Jim. I'm freaking 32.

**luv** · 08-07-2005, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

Sad part about is the only redeeming part of the story is that I didn't get KOed by the bottle. The rest is just me getting ass-raped by the whole situation.

I need to get married and settle down Jim. I'm freaking 32.

Please don't make 32 sound so old.

08-07-2005, 12:50 AM	Topic Starter
Otter Live free or die hard Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Durango, CO Casino cash: $-741618	Got Tazerd Tonight So I decided to go out to the bars with my girlfriend and some friends. Everything is going well when all of a sudden one of my girlfriends friends come out of nowhere crying and saying she wants to go home. Apparently a cab wasn’t good enough for this little diva by her standards or more importantly my girl’s standards so I wind up driving her home. No problem right. WRONG. After driving her across town (still completely sober) I get back downtown, park the truck and start walking to the bar where my friends are at. All of a sudden behind me I hear “yo tough guy!”. Apparently this guy is the reason she was crying. I still don’t know if he’s an ex-boyfriend or what the hell his relationship is with her. I assume he’s not talking to me and keep walking. Next thing I know I get shoved from behind and turn around just in time to get a bottle broken over my head. I’m down on one knee and the self preservation instinct kicks in so I get back up, tackle the guy and start wrestling around. I’m on top getting the better of the guy and all of a sudden ZAP!!! A cop who obviously didn’t know what was going on besides what he saw after I got up hit me with a tazer. If you’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing a stun gun I don’t know how else to describe it besides filling a bathtub full of water and dropping in a toaster. Your whole body stiffens up, the pain is quick but sharp as a knife and you’re completely helpless for about 10 seconds. The bouncers across the street eventually stepped in and explained what happened but I now have four stitches in my head, been stun gunned by a cop, my truck is still downtown and I told my girlfriend to fuck off and leave me alone because I was pissed off and bleeding because that little bitch couldn't take a cab. That's not even including the hospital and legal bullshit. My cell is off, the door is locked and I’m getting piss drunk all by myself. What a flucking night. I'm marrying a big fat ugly homely beast tommorow so I never have to go through this again. I’m too freaking old for this shit.
Posts: 28,264

08-07-2005, 01:00 AM	#8
Logical Screw U if U can't take a joke Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Man that sucks Otter, on the other hand it will make a great tale to tell at some future date while hanging with your buds.
Posts: 31,579

08-07-2005, 01:02 AM	#9
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $980478	All that and no sex? Your gf owes you. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 296,836