The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread

[Rain Man]

Here's a lifetime first for me.

There's a mall near my office, which is kind of an odd covered outdoor mall. I cut through it to get to my car on days that I drive, and I walk by a set of escalators. They're quite tall, covering more height than a typical escalator.

Here's the first: a person was stuck on the escalator.

I always thought that was just a bad joke, but it was true. It was a guy in his 30s or so, and while he looked healthy he had one of those walkers, so obviously he had some sort of disability. He was about 2/3rds of the way up, standing on a step with his walker, and a mall security guy was hanging on to him to keep him from falling. Another mall security guard was at the bottom, and he has starting and stopping the escalator a second at a time. The escalator was inching the guy down.

I have no idea what this was about. The top of the escalator is about 30 feet from a bank of two elevators, so I'm not sure if the elevators were busted or if the guy tried the escalator and got freaked out or something.

It was odd, too, because they were jerking the escalator on and off, which to me seemed like a much riskier move than just turning it on and having the guard hold the guy while it smoothly descended. But hey, I figure that if they're mall security, they must know what they're doing.

[Hammock Parties]

I saw an old lady pumping iron today. She was working it hard.

[KCChiefsMan]

ok, I was in Wal-mart a couple of days ago. It was around midnight and just wanted to pick up a few groceries and get the hell out of there. Well there is a female undergarment section right near the groceries and as I'm wheeling my cart around I noticed this guy, probably in his early 20's, doing an exaggerated "gangsta" walk. He continues this reeruned walk with his arms waving around and goes straight to the panties that were hanging there. These weren't women's panties either, they were little girl underwear. He yell's "AHH $HIT" picks one of the garments up and then yells "HELL YA"

I was rather speechless and got the hell out of there.

[Rain Man]

Oh, another interesting observation. I saw a handsome homeless guy the other day. Most homeless guys are less than attractive, which is obvious even to people like me who have an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality. This guy was dirty and unshaven and was obviously a bum and not a European hiker or something, but he had great hair and chiseled features and broad shoulders. He looked like George Clooney pretending to be a homeless guy.

[KurtCobain]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Oh, another interesting observation. I saw a handsome homeless guy the other day. Most homeless guys are less than attractive, which is obvious even to people like me who have an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality. This guy was dirty and unshaven and was obviously a bum and not a European hiker or something, but he had great hair and chiseled features and broad shoulders. He looked like George Clooney pretending to be a homeless guy.

I'm currently homeless, yet still dead sexy.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by joey

I'm currently homeless, yet still dead sexy.

Do you find that it helps you get more money on street corners, or is it better to be ugly?

[KurtCobain]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Do you find that it helps you get more money on street corners, or is it better to be ugly?

I try not to beg for money. But from the looks of it, the more deadbeat you look, the bigger the bills are that you get in your change cup.

[Hammock Parties]

He probably gets all the choice homeless 'tang. Like the chick with big boobs who used to be fat but lost a ton of weight when she became homeless.

I bet they get it on under the nearest I-70 overpass Friday nights. He probably steals a bottle from a sleeping wino and makes it real romantic. She wears her best sackcloth.

[Logical]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

...


2. I came back to the office, and got a cell phone call while I was in my lobby. I was standing there taking the call when this skanky, meth-looking woman in a tank top came in. She got in the elevator and departed toward the heavens. The thing that was most noticeable about her, other than the skanky part, was that she was wearing no supportive garments above the waist, and she badly, badly needed to be wearing them. (Not large, either - envision an inverted champagne flute made out of Slinky.) I finished my call and rode the elevator up myself, and when I got off on my floor, the woman was in the front lobby of the other company on my floor filling out a job application. I really think that a skanky-looking person with bosoms befitting a National Geographic photo should consider wearing a bra or something whilst going in to apply for a job.

....

What suprises me is that you did not mention how thankful you were that she was not applying at your business.

[Rain Man]

I am behind the wall. I repeat. I am behind the wall. I am in the inner sanctum.

My wife is getting her hair done, and I caught a ride with her. I'm working on a couch in the hair salon, so I am a fly on the wall watching how this whole system works.

A few observations:

1. They serve free wine, which tells me that my wife pays too much for her haircuts.

2. There's a woman sitting next to me wearing a bunch of aluminum foil. I think she's waiting for some coloration to set or something. I'm not sure if I should compliment her on the foil or not.

3. There's a whole lot of sitting around and reading fashion magazines among the customers. I can't quite figure out why, unless they're all waiting for coloration to set. But there are only two who are wearing aluminum foil.

4. There are some male hairstylists, but I'm not worried about any of them trying to steal my wife, other than maybe one guy who looks and sounds like an undercover cop.

5. Aluminum foil woman is kind of bored now, and she's either staring at me or staring blankly while thinking about physics or something. I see her out of my peripheral vision, and her head is pointed straight at me and not moving.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

5. Aluminum foil woman is kind of bored now, and she's either staring at me or staring blankly while thinking about physics or something. I see her out of my peripheral vision, and her head is pointed straight at me and not moving.

Could it be that you're skinny?

You know, like the aliens that abducted her and are trying to read her mind?...

[Rain Man]

Okay, the undercover cop just complimented me on my shoes. There is no threat here.

[tmax63]

Was going into the Walmart the other day and noticed an over-60ish overweight lady loading her purchases into a brand new Porsche. I commented to the greeter ( a friendly old gent) that you don't see that every day. The greeter commented "she even parked in the handicapped slot to boot." Sometimes you just shake your head and realize the end is coming.

[Rain Man]

I was in a meeting yesterday with an executive group for a nonprofit, and they were talking about partnerships for a fundraising event. One person suggested motorcycle groups as people who might participate, and a couple of people were saying things like "There's that veteran's group" and "I know there's a Harley group". Then another person, who wasn't listening closely and was still thinking about the original question, said, "I think there's a Cerebral Palsy group." And I was thinking, "I don't think a Cerebral Palsy motorcycle club is a good idea at all."

[greg63]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was in a meeting yesterday with an executive group for a nonprofit, and they were talking about partnerships for a fundraising event. One person suggested motorcycle groups as people who might participate, and a couple of people were saying things like "There's that veteran's group" and "I know there's a Harley group". Then another person, who wasn't listening closely and was still thinking about the original question, said, "I think there's a Cerebral Palsy group." And I was thinking, "I don't think a Cerebral Palsy motorcycle club is a good idea at all."

But could be entertaining in a sick, sorted kind of way.