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01-24-2009, 09:47 PM | #121 |
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Sometimes 15 minute fame lasts longer ... He'll be rewarded with a dull passing suited just for him ...
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01-24-2009, 09:48 PM | #122 | |
Losing with passion.
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Quote:
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01-24-2009, 10:23 PM | #123 | |
Diablo Negro
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Quote:
I hope GOD isn't judging on spelling. |
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01-25-2009, 08:21 AM | #124 |
The 23rd Pillar
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Technically speaking, "damned" is the adverb form of the word "damn", although my dictionary does say that "damn" can be used informally. I don't know how God would feel about such things though so check it out before you use it in a tattoo.
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01-25-2009, 10:44 AM | #125 | |
Playing for #1 Draft Pick
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so writing on the wall of temple....won't go over well. /God
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01-25-2009, 06:06 PM | #126 |
Let's get a snack
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Went to get some TacoBell at halftime two weeks ago. I ordered 8 of the $.89 Cheesy Double beef burritos (I was buying for three). The chick rings it up and the total is almost $15. So after driving all the way there I get to find out they don't honor the price that I just watched on a TB commercial during the game. The hell with it I didn't feel like driving around looking for something else and missing anymore of the game than I had to. I pay then go to the bathroom, upon returning she says "We only have enough rice to make five of those burritos." I'm visibly starting to get pissed now, but I know it is not the kid at the registers fault that the price is wrong and the rice is low. I told her that I would just take the five then.
Then it happens, I see that glazed, confused look come over her face and I know what she is going to ask next. "Do you want your money back then?" I don't know how these people make it through life. It amazes me. |
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01-25-2009, 06:26 PM | #127 |
MER
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There's a window from where I sit in Accounting into the President's office. Directly in front of me. He likes to watch the morning news or the weather channel. Usually the television is off by 10. One morning I watched him walk into his office and stop dead in his tracks transfixed by a television commercial. It was the commercial for the doo hickey that pulls your bra straps together in the back hiding those oh so unfasionable bra straps. Commercial completely focused on the breasts but there were no bikinis or anything. You see more breasts on Hannah Montana, but he was absolutely mesMERized by this 6 minute commercial. His phone rang, his cell phone rang, people walked by his office and he steadfastly watched the bra commercial.
When it was over, he adjusted himself, realized he was standing in front of a window, looked at me looking at him with an eyebrow raised (I practiced and practiced just for such an occasion) and scurried to his desk. It makes me wonder what his wife's breasts look like. |
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04-11-2009, 07:41 PM | #128 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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I was about to go on my jog today, and was sitting on my front steps adjusting my shoes. I live on a street with a fair amount of pedestrian traffic, so it's not uncommon for people to walk by.
Some old lady was walking by, and noticed that there was a piece of paper on the sidewalk where some idiot had thrown it down. I was going to pick it up, but hadn't made it down there yet. She toddled over and picked it up. I said, "Thank you very much. I appreciate it." She mumbled and grumbled that someone could easily step on the paper and slip and fall. I didn't think it was quite that dangerous, but agreed nonetheless. I was at the top of the steps sitting down (about 8 steps up), and she was at the bottom. She motioned to my flower bed and to the paper in her hand. "You want me to just throw this in there?" she asked. "Um, no." I had assumed she was going to carry it to a trash can. "Here, I'll take it." She gave me the paper and then proceeded to complain to me about how my sidewalk is crooked and could trip people who are walking. She went over and motioned and mimed tripping and pointed out a section of sidewalk where there is seriously no more than a quarter-inch of height difference. So much for a nice trash picker-upper.
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04-11-2009, 07:43 PM | #129 |
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I wonder that, too. But then, I did before the story, too.
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05-22-2009, 07:40 AM | #130 |
Custom User Title
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Sitting here at an airport. I don't think I've seen one person walk by that wasn't on a cell phone. What was airports like prior to cellphones? Was there a mad rush to the pay phones as planes landed?
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05-22-2009, 07:48 AM | #131 |
MER
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Yes but it was easier to coordinate rides when your ride was allowed to greet you in the terminal with flowers balloons and a 12 piece orchestra.
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07-11-2009, 08:43 AM | #132 |
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Two observations from my walk home last night.
1. Guys with bad posture shouldn't wear Hawaiian shirts. For some reason, any guy with a Hawaiian shirt who's hunched over looks like he's weird. I can't put my finger on why, but it's a fact. (I'm not sure if this counts for men over 80, though, since I haven't seen one. If you're a hunched-over octogenarian, it may make you more cool to go out in a Hawaiian shirt.) 2. I walked home by the baseball stadium while a game was starting, and as usual there were police all over the place to block streets and handle pedestrian traffic. One of the police officers was a woman who was about 5'-6" or so and absolutely weighed over 300 pounds. I was very surprised to see that. Do they require police officers to pass a fitness test? I don't think this woman could have passed any fitness test. I realize that handling pedestrians and blocking streets at a ball game is a pretty low-impact police activity, and figured that maybe they let the dispatchers or other non-field staff make some extra money by doing it, but at the same time she was out there in a police uniform. If a crime was committed, it seems that it would be her job to rush to the scene and chase down and arrest a criminal.
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08-13-2009, 05:14 PM | #133 |
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On my walk to work today, I passed a parking lot that's near the haunted mansion that I want to buy. It's the only possible employee parking in the area, and the weird thing is that it's permit-only, but there's no contact information anywhere about how to get a permit. So I've never been able to do any research.
Today when I walked by, lo and behold there was a guy working at the little box where you deposit money. (And no, I don't know why this box exists if it's permit only.) So I walked over to him and the following conversation ensued. Me: Hi, it looks like you work at this lot. Him (in foreign accent, some kind of Balkan country, I think): Yes, I own it. Me: How much does it cost to park here? Him: Look at the sign. Me: (Looking at sign.) Yeah, there's no pricing on the sign. Him: (Coming around box to point at sign.) It's permit only. You have to have a permit. Me: Yeah, I see that. How much does it cost? Him: You have to have a permit. Me: How do I get a permit? Him: You have to call and get one. Me: Who do I call? Him: Look at the sign. Me: There's no contact information on the sign. Him: (Pointing around.) The lot's full. Me: I don't need it now. I'm talking about later. Him: You have to have a permit. Me: Who do I call to get a permit? Him: Me. Me: Can I have your phone number? Him: It's on the sign. Me: I swear to you, it's not. Him: (Looking at sign.) Huh. How in the world does this guy have a full parking lot? There's no way to contact him at all. There's no way to pay. There's no way to figure out how to pay. It's weird.
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08-13-2009, 05:33 PM | #134 |
Obligatory Thoughtcriminal
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I guess that explains all the local Hasidics dropping in every Saturday.
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08-13-2009, 05:37 PM | #135 |
I'll be back.
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My new favorite peoplewatching activity is leering at teenage lifeguards, who just happen to prance their cute little asses around in bikinis in front of my gym.
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