Life Cash bar or foot the bill? Wedding poll - Page 9

O.city · 08:30 PM

So we're attending a wedding in STL in a few weeks, and instead of footing the bill themselves, it's a cash bar.

What are your thoughts on this?

I kinda think if youre having a big fancy all weekend kinda wedding, pay for the bar tab, but I get it I guess, miney wise.

So, what say you?

Update: read announcement, open bar, all is well

cosmo20002 · 08-10-2015, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

Italians are traditional. But I've yet to attend a wedding where the groom pays into it even in the past five to ten years. Not even my daughter who attended a Hispanic one where my daughter was a bridesmaid last summer. Nope none at all iir.

Does the couple generally furnish you with a breakdown of expenditures and source of the financing? No matter the topic, you are always full of shit.

BucEyedPea · 08-10-2015, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

It's actually the parents' day moreso than it is the bride or groom's day for the reason I spelled out earlier.

The parents pay but they do it for her. Often is for the mother more—at least it was that way with my sister's wedding. So glad my mom got that out of her system before it was my turn. I was left alone.

Hootie · 08-10-2015, 06:58 PM

All of my friends are getting married (we just turned 30) and half of them are paying for their own weddings, 1 of them the bride's family is fronting the whole thing and has refused any help from the groom, and the others are all split many ways. This "the bride's family pays for everything" just doesn't happen in the real world anymore ... Not for the millennials

Discuss Thrower · 08-10-2015, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I feel for you, Disc. You're really the one getting shafted in the new dating era.

A few hundred years ago any man would have jumped at the chance to unload his daughter off on you for a cow and a couple chickens.

Part of it is the tradeoff of having your folks pay for it.

My mom's bestie is on one side of this. She and her husband are inviting their adult friends that have had little interaction with their daughter. Daughter isn't too pleased with this, but **** you Kel, you want a $40k wedding paid for by your parents then you don't get the right to tell your parents whom they cannot invite.

**lewdog** · 08-10-2015, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

It ain't looking too good for me then, Lewie.

Any chance you can slide me your wife's number?

Sure.

867-5309

BucEyedPea · 08-10-2015, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0

All of my friends are getting married (we just turned 30) and half of them are paying for their own weddings, 1 of them the bride's family is fronting the whole thing and has refused any help from the groom, and the others are all split many ways. This "the bride's family pays for everything" just doesn't happen in the real world anymore ... Not for the millennials

It does. I just posted about three of them. One low budget ($5k)and two extravagant all paid for by the bride's family. It may be that more grooms do pitch in but you can't say it doesn't happen anymore.

**ChiTown** · 08-10-2015, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0

All of my friends are getting married (we just turned 30) and half of them are paying for their own weddings, 1 of them the bride's family is fronting the whole thing and has refused any help from the groom, and the others are all split many ways. This "the bride's family pays for everything" just doesn't happen in the real world anymore ... Not for the millennials

Not according to Sadie Hawkins Eyed Pea

Hootie · 08-10-2015, 07:00 PM

But we're all big partiers and the last wedding I was in the "open bar" tab exceeded $10K ... We all got belligerently drunk. It's cool, but if it was a cash bar I totally would've understood. I think beer & wine is more than fair / generous.

But who am I? Just, you know, a millennial right in the midst of the age group that's supposed to be dominating weddings these days

Discuss Thrower · 08-10-2015, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

The parents pay but they do it for her. Often is for the mother more—at least it was that way with my sister's wedding. So glad my mom got that out of her system before it was my turn. I was left alone.

Again, weddings are the only reason for families that are spread more than 100mi out to get together any more. So while it might be "her" day the expectation is that she and her husband have to spend 50% of their wedding day greeting each other's distant relatives who have had probably **** all to do with their respective lives.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 08-10-2015, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

Neither is my daughter. I've been attending weddings regularly enough the past decade with people I know well enough to know the groom didn't pitch in. No, I don't live in a 1% neighborhood. Some were low budget affairs and others were quite extravagant. More extravagant than that $100k wedding that was about 5 years ago. Of course, the dad was a millionaire in the one over $100k with limos provided for all relatives who had to fly to Miami, plus rooms in hotels. I swear he had to be mafia though.

I've been harsh. Here's the truth. If I know you're doing the best you can, I will too and get you an amazing gift. If it's as described in the OP, eat a penis. I'm not a charity case for rich cheap asses.

BucEyedPea · 08-10-2015, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Part of it is the tradeoff of having your folks pay for it.

My mom's bestie is on one side of this. She and her husband are inviting their adult friends that have had little interaction with their daughter. Daughter isn't too pleased with this, but **** you Kel, you want a $40k wedding paid for by your parents then you don't get the right to tell your parents whom they cannot invite.

That's what my mom told my sister. There was so much tension and turmoil about invitations it turned me off. So I didn't bother at all with one.

Hootie · 08-10-2015, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

It does. I just posted about three of them. One low budget ($5k)and two extravagant all paid for by the bride's family. It may be that more grooms do pitch in but you can't say it doesn't happen anymore.

Perhaps the second/third weddings you attend still operate under those pretenses ... But as a millennial who attends about 9 weddings per year due to being "that age", it's just not common anymore. At least not amongst my middle class friends.

...and we certainly aren't stuck up **** faces who are going to judge those less fortunate than others who can't finance an open bar

BucEyedPea · 08-10-2015, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Again, weddings are the only reason for families that are spread more than 100mi out to get together any more. So while it might be "her" day the expectation is that she and her husband have to spend 50% of their wedding day greeting each other's distant relatives who have had probably **** all to do with their respective lives.

Well, the reason I bother to fly to them on my own dime, is because I can visit the extended family all in one day—instead of renting a car to drive all over New England trying to squeeze everyone into one week of visiting. It's work and a chore.

**Bugeater** · 08-10-2015, 07:04 PM

Go cash bar and give all attendees a couple drink tickets. That way you don't look like a complete cheapskate and you won't have people just hanging around to get shitfaced on your dime.

BucEyedPea · 08-10-2015, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0

Perhaps the second/third weddings you attend still operate under those pretenses ... But as a millennial who attends about 9 weddings per year due to being "that age", it's just not common anymore. At least not amongst my middle class friends.

...and we certainly aren't stuck up **** faces who are going to judge those less fortunate than others who can't finance an open bar

These weddings I mentioned were all millennial weddings. Though, it hasn't been 9 in a year. Most are still single or just went to a JP and got it over with.

08-10-2015, 05:05 PM
O.city In Search of a Life Join Date: Jul 2009 Casino cash: $2344064	Cash bar or foot the bill? Wedding poll So we're attending a wedding in STL in a few weeks, and instead of footing the bill themselves, it's a cash bar. What are your thoughts on this? I kinda think if youre having a big fancy all weekend kinda wedding, pay for the bar tab, but I get it I guess, miney wise. So, what say you? Update: read announcement, open bar, all is well Last edited by O.city; 08-11-2015 at 08:30 PM..
Posts: 81,574

08-10-2015, 06:58 PM	#123
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	All of my friends are getting married (we just turned 30) and half of them are paying for their own weddings, 1 of them the bride's family is fronting the whole thing and has refused any help from the groom, and the others are all split many ways. This "the bride's family pays for everything" just doesn't happen in the real world anymore ... Not for the millennials
Posts: 56,356

08-10-2015, 07:00 PM	#128
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	But we're all big partiers and the last wedding I was in the "open bar" tab exceeded $10K ... We all got belligerently drunk. It's cool, but if it was a cash bar I totally would've understood. I think beer & wine is more than fair / generous. But who am I? Just, you know, a millennial right in the midst of the age group that's supposed to be dominating weddings these days
Posts: 56,356

08-10-2015, 07:04 PM	#134
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6232680	Go cash bar and give all attendees a couple drink tickets. That way you don't look like a complete cheapskate and you won't have people just hanging around to get shitfaced on your dime.
Posts: 70,443