I start my new job next Wednesday =(

[Hootie]

The days of sitting around all day, watching 12 hours of baseball, getting hopped up on Ritalin and writing papers, sleeping 15 hours, jerking it to tranny porn...over!

However, with the increased income I will be able to buy a new Xbox...so between work, summer classes, and Xbox...my chiefsplanet time will decrease by 500% (at least)...

so score for you guys?

[Lumpy]

Mop boy at a xxx theatre?

[Scorp]

Originally Posted by Lumpy

Mop boy at a xxx theatre?

My bet is fluffer on porn sets.

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by Scorp

My bet is fluffer on porn sets.

you get paid for that?

I've been doing it for free...

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by Lumpy

Mop boy at a xxx theatre?

hopefully if I work hard

[luv]

How have you been paying bills without a job?

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by luv

How have you been paying bills without a job?

my old job enabled me to pay my rent in full before the semester, and my other bills consist of cable and cell phone since I don't have any credit cards...so I've managed to get by. I'm a man, I'm 40.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by luv

How have you been paying bills without a job?

I'll take Things Parents Provide for $1,000, Alex.

[Hootie]

Originally Posted by frazod

I'll take Things Parents Provide for $1,000, Alex.

lets say they do...

Is that suppose to be an insult? If my mom or dad wanted to give me $10,000...I'd probably do fifty somersaults and buy a $1000 hooker and treat her to dinner afterward.

[Mr. Plow]

Originally Posted by Lumpy

Mop boy at a xxx theatre?

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/eug/978242424.html

To all the fine people who frequent adult arcades...

---

Date: 2009-01-02, 8:45PM PST


I have logged 10 ,count em, 10 years working for an adult bookstore and I think I am more than qualified to offer some helpful tips to make your visit to these shops just a little more enjoyable. Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors.

1) It is a complete wast of time to become upset when I refuse to shake your hand after you exit the arcade. You just had anonymous sex with a man, woman, tranny, or you just got finished masturbating. Had you grabbed the key to the restroom and washed your hands I might just have considered it, otherwise I have no interest in touching you. You really have no reason to be offended at this one, just think about it for a moment.

2) I'm sorry if you have only limited time to have gay sex with a stranger during your lunch break. If the only customers I have in the arcade are so old you are wondering how they remain upright, much less get it up, I simply can't waive a magic wand and fill the arcade with an all gay swim team. It really doesn't matter how horny you are, complaining incessantly about it changes nothing. Along that same line, I am not a resident fall back option and I'm sorry, but offering me cash for sex will not change my mind on this one (ever).

3) We offer the options of entering a booth with a window, a glory hole, or a private booth. If you enter a booth with a window, please don't be surprised if you look up and find someone watching you, coming to the counter and demanding that I throw whomever out because they were peeking at your willy will honestly accomplish little. If you enter a booth with a gloryhole, please don't be surprised if at some point a penis comes through it. Also don't be surprised if a voice comes through it asking for you to stick your penis through the hole, it's what it's there for. These traumatic events can all be avoided by entering a private booth where you can masturbate to your hearts content in relative privacy.

4) You enter a booth, insert a 1, 5, 10, or 20 dollar bill into the bill acceptor, and have a seat. The movie will play until the time limit for the amount of money you put into the machine runs out. If at that time you have not managed to relieve yourself you have still received what you paid for. Screaming at me will not get you more time in the arcade, it will just get you thrown the **** out. Sitting in a booth with no money in the machine while you desperately try to grunt out a quick one is just not acceptable. If I knock on the door offering to get you change and you come out all grumpy saying something like "I just spent 7000 dollars here" or "do you know how much I spend here in a month" we now have a problem. You see, the concept really is simple yet I feel the need to break it down for you. If I go to McDonalds, order a cheese burger and eat it, I would not be allowed to sit there and eat unlimited cheese burgers all ****ing day because I paid for the first one. Duh!! same thing here, once that TV screen goes black YOU GOT WHAT YOU PAID FOR! If you want to continue, fish out another bill or if you are broke GO THE **** HOME AND FINISH THERE.

4) This one is important, so pay it some ****ing attention. If you happen to be a horny gay man (nothing wrong with that) and inappropriately proposition another man in the parking lot and he punches you in the mouth, YOU HAD IT COMING. I want to reiterate for the slow among us, YOU ASKED FOR IT!!! Please wait until you are in the arcade to cruise for dick. We offer a wide range of products that straight people need, so don't assume because someone is going to the adult bookstore they are gay. That is just ****ing stupid you moron.

5) My job is to police the arcade and sell shit. That is all I get paid to do and it's all I care about. I could care less if you have a wedding ring on as you suck off 12 dudes, I don't care if you are cheating on your wife with a woman of "questionable standards", I don't care if you enjoy dressing in your little sisters cloths and putting on a show for strangers in a window booth, I DO NOT GIVE A **** WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THERE. I do not need a play by play description of what you were just doing. Keep it to yourself or write it in your journal or whatever. Just leave me out of it, I will not be impressed, seriously.

6) If you pee in the trashcans and I catch you you will be cleaning that booth and I will be berating you the entire time it takes you. You sick ****er what the **** did your mother teach you when you were little. I will then take your ****ing picture and show it to every one who works here. You will never be allowed back in, EVER!!!!!!

7) I understand that sex creates wet spots on clothing, etc...but if you come walking out of the arcade with cum in your beard, on your shirt, pants, whatever, I reserve the right to point and laugh. We thoughtfully provide paper towels just for that situation. If you choose not to use them then I choose to laugh and call you a douche bag.

8) We have janitors clean the arcade 3 times a day, every day. I can do little for you if the booth you so desperately need to whack off in has a load of cum dripping down the monitor. I will not be rushing back there to clean that up real quick for you. If the little present left by the previous occupant offends you so much you have 2 options,
1) Walk your ass to another, cleaner, booth.
2) reach up and grab a paper towel from the dispenser and clean it up your ****ing self.
That's it, throw the biggest tantrum you can and you will still be left with the same 2 options.

I do hope you find this little piece of information helpful. Have a wonderful day!

[Hootie]

$10 drinking tabs help out as well.

[Hootie]

losing $30 every time I play dice does not help

[Beerfund]

Originally Posted by Hootie

losing $30 every time I play dice does not help

play with the brothers?

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Beerfund

play with the brothers?

THAT should be a tshirt.

[Donger]

What will we use to fill the void created by your absence?

Oh look! A quark.