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Old 12-24-2012, 12:52 AM  
Jim Jones Jim Jones is offline
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Should I confront my fiance over text messages I found?
I guarantee this thread isn't going to be about what the thread title might have led you to think it's about. Sorry about that...

Anyway -- was reading text messages on my fiance's cell phone (Yes, I do that, I'm a privacy invader...but past relationships have led me to be a little paranoid).

I read texts between her and her sister and mom, basically trashing my family, which is who we're spending Christmas Eve with. It wasn't just like your usual, "not really looking forward to going to the in-laws", but it was actually pretty vicious stuff. She was trashing my mom's cooking, basically saying she doesn't like my mom at all (my family has been AMAZING to her)..complaining that all we do is "sit around and talk with a sports game on the TV), trashing my parents house, my sister and her "annoying kid". It was really nasty stuff and a side of her I haven't really seen before.

Question is -- do I confront her? This is all that's gonna be on my mind tomorrow, but confronting her means I have to admit to reading her text messages. I don't know how I can move forward knowing she's been talking all this shit about my family though.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:29 PM   #286
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Originally Posted by jd1020 View Post
Nothing is going to solve this trust issue...

The OP admits to being "paranoid from past relationships" and "never seeing this side of her."

So he's really had no reason to snoop through her text messages and the only reason he did was because of someone he used to date that has no connection to this new girl what so ever.

Ya'll want to turn this into an issue on the girl because she doesn't like his mothers cooking but is still going to play nice and have Christmas with them, yet we wouldn't even know she didn't like his mothers cooking unless dipshit didn't snoop through her phone.

And there seems to be a popular belief that if he didn't snoop through her phone and find out these "horrible" truths that when they eventually came out it's going to be a trailer park brawl.
Just to be clear, I absolutely 100% agree with the 1st 3 paragraphs.

I didn't mean to make it sound like I am blaming HER when obviously HE has unresolved trust issues unrelated to her.

It's just the nature of the situation - for whatever reason she felt the need to tell the sister instead of the OP, which is indicative of a larger, underlying problem.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:29 PM   #287
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Originally Posted by mcaj22 View Post
what if your fiance starts snooping through your computer and finds this thread through the browsing history?

would she be okay with this thread? lol same concept really
I was going to say this.

Here you sit. Venting your frustrations to a bunch of dumbasses ( we're chiefs fans after all. Except setsuna, he's just a dumbass.). Try to gain some perspective. If its just venting, you're doing the same thing. If she hates them, you probably have some work to do.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:30 PM   #288
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Originally Posted by jd1020 View Post
Don't know... ask the OP, he's read her private text messages. What else has she "lied" about?
See...that's the question he has to ask himself. Liars don't lie just once....
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:30 PM   #289
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Do you have any good stock tips?
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:31 PM   #290
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Do you have any good stock tips?
I do, Chicken stock mixes pretty well with most dishes for these days.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:32 PM   #291
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Originally Posted by Mosbonian View Post
See...that's the question he has to ask himself. Liars don't lie just once....
Should probably ask the girlfriend if she knows the OP invades her privacy as well.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:33 PM   #292
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Originally Posted by Mosbonian View Post
Go ahead and live in your Pollyanna world....if that works for you I am happy for you.
Is that supposed to be a burn? That our families have manners?
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:36 PM   #293
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Originally Posted by jd1020 View Post
Should probably ask the girlfriend if she knows the OP invades her privacy as well.
And I wouldn't disagree with the fact he was snooping caused this...to some extent he is responsible for his own issues.

But...what happened to her being honest with him all along.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:36 PM   #294
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And I wouldn't disagree with the fact he was snooping caused this...to some extent he is responsible for his own issues.

But...what happened to her being honest with him all along.
So you think the OP is being honest with her?

The OP is the issue. Sorry.

His girlfriend has manners and is polite to his family. She's going to spend Christmas with them. Yet this dude invades her privacy because he's too broken from shit thats happened in the past. This girl needs to run...
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:37 PM   #295
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You seem blindsided by this, so she's obviously very good at putting up a false front. Which means she's a skilled liar. If she's lying about this, what else is she lying about?

One word of advice, though. Confront her AFTER Christmas. Don't **** up the holiday for your family. Take the high road for another couple of days.
This..

Wait til it is done..

Then apologize that you read the texts.. But you feel ashamed that she could not be honest with you..
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:37 PM   #296
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Is that supposed to be a burn? That our families have manners?
Nope...unless you wanted it to be.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:38 PM   #297
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So you think the OP is being honest with her?

The OP is the issue. Sorry.
No he isn't....

But he isn't the only issue.

We'll just have to agree to disagree on this.

Since you edited yours I'll edit mine too.....

I think they both need to run......he has trust issues and she can't be honest with him. That's not manners that is duplicity and you can't shade it any other way.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:43 PM   #298
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You keep using this word duplicity...

She isn't set to marry the in-laws...
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:45 PM   #299
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However, it's certainly easier to address them with a fiance who'll just go away than a wife who'll go away with half your shit.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:49 PM   #300
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This may have already been covered ( i haven't read the whole thing), but is Jim Jones paying her phone bill? If so, then he has the right to read the texts. If not...better be careful.
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