Poop Describe the biggest, steamiest, nastiest dump you've ever taken - Page 2

**Bufkin** · 03-13-2015, 01:30 PM

How was it? Did you photograph it? If so, please post in here for peer reviewed analysis. Also, if you know how many Courics it was, post that as well. I just took one that resembled Roseanne Barr, both in shape as well as stature.

In junior high, I ate like 8 crayons as a dare while playing truth or dare, and I took this ungodly Lincoln log triumphant turd and get this...IT WAS COLORFUL.

MTG#10 · 03-13-2015, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pablo

I've told this story a long time ago on this board.

When I was in high school my brother and I shared a bathroom. I would take my shower first and then wake him up and he'd go after usually. It was always a really delightful morning when I'd gut that early morning gut bomb. The ones you can feel gurgle when the warm water hits your stomach, and you know it's on. Now, I'm naturally a large shitter. My turds are toilet cloggers quite a bit of the time, and I've never weighed one, but I'd guess they give your average one pound sausage tube a run for its money.

So, I'm in the shower and I feel this bastard coming on. Naturally I crank the hot water on high to steam the place up and precede to drop this gnarly bastard into the toilet. It was large and in charge. Of course, I didn't flush it. That was the fun in being the first guy in the shower. The bathroom was a steamy shit sauna. It smelled awful.

I wake my brother up and gleefully giggle; just waiting for him to cry out about the foul smell or the steamy poop sauna. He goes in. He says nothing. He makes no noise. He takes his shower and I don't here a toilet flush or anything. He comes out and doesn't say a thing, just goes to his room.

I'm perplexed. There's no way he missed this turd. It smelled rank and was the size of a deli sandwich. I go into the bathroom, which still smells terrible. I open the toilet lid.

And on top of my shit, there was another enormous log. Joke is on me I guess. He just dueced right on top of my duece and no ****s were given. And left it for me to find and be disgusted by. I ended up plunging the toilet that morning in shame; as I realized my bro had just out-shit me and beaten me at my own game. That toilet had three rather girthy toilet snakes hissing in there, and I had to put them down.

In58men · 03-13-2015, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mlyonsd

It was about three hours after I ate lasagna.

Uh oh

Pasta Little Brioni · 03-13-2015, 03:21 PM

Driving down the highway with the family. Had just eaten huge amounts of cupped beef. There was a huge traffic jam and it started rumbling. Waiting wasn't an option so Sprint full speed to the nearby bushes to the horror of everyone.

**Scorp** · 03-13-2015, 05:02 PM

Well it took about an hour and nine minutes to complete. It was about 8 inches in circumference and 10.3 inches long. There was so much blood through all the straining, but the blood did help for lubrication. It was a chore for sure, my ass hurt for days.

Jim Lahey · 03-13-2015, 05:10 PM

I was snacking on some jalapeño peppers straight out of the jar a few months go..I really wasn't paying attention but I ended up eating about 1/5th of the jar.

Well...about 2 hours later I had a rumbly in my tumbly. Oh shit I thought.

Took a seat and that fire breathing dragon went off. One of the nastiest and definitely the most painful burning shit I've ever taken.

**srvy** · 03-13-2015, 05:26 PM

I like to poop on hoods of cars in the early morning hours before anyone is awake. I usually go to taco bell to eat then go to bed make a good loose stool on the hood of your car.

Hoopsdoc · 03-13-2015, 07:37 PM

I hate it when the turd drops and water splashes up in your ass. I tried to remedy that by hovering a few inches above the toilet when it dropped, but that only makes it fall farther, thereby splashing higher. Now, I hunker down as much as possible.

Also, flushing while still sitting makes a cool breeze on your ass.

Athis · 03-13-2015, 08:54 PM

It was during Mardi Gras that it happened. I drank A LOT of cranberry and Stoli on Saturday. I was warned that cranberry acts like like a laxative. Well Sunday morning I didn't feel like taking a dump so went to another parade in another area of town. While at the parade I felt the rumbling coming on and talked my girl into leaving. We had to drive across town and no I was taking a dump at a public place. We were about four blocks away from her house and I felt the DEMON crowning. I hit the gas and by the time I got out of the car my sphincter couldn't hold back Beelzebub. So the biggest, steamiest, nastiest dump you've ever taken was in my pants.

**Bowser** · 03-13-2015, 08:57 PM

You Mormons are ****ed in the head.

**srvy** · 03-13-2015, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athis

It was during Mardi Gras that it happened. I drank A LOT of cranberry and Stoli on Saturday. I was warned that cranberry acts like like a laxative. Well Sunday morning I didn't feel like taking a dump so went to another parade in another area of town. While at the parade I felt the rumbling coming on and talked my girl into leaving. We had to drive across town and no I was taking a dump at a public place. We were about four blocks away from her house and I felt the DEMON crowning. I hit the gas and by the time I got out of the car my sphincter couldn't hold back Beelzebub. So the biggest, steamiest, nastiest dump you've ever taken was in my pants.

Seriously you couldn't find a nice car hood?

Red Beans · 03-13-2015, 09:24 PM

One Friday, back in my more self destructive days, I ate about 10 vicodin during a night of drinking. The day after was Saturday, and I eased the hangover with some bbq, day drinking a few Bloody Marys, a sushi dinner, and a few more vicodin to bolster another night of many, many beers. When I woke that Sunday, my stomach signaled it was time for a cleansing beer shit. What occurred was a 45 minute ordeal that involed nearly pulling the towel rack off the wall, and an alternating stream of of curses and prayers. What it produced was a turd the size and shape of a softball. My ass hurt til Tuesday.

Why Not? · 03-13-2015, 11:41 PM

This thread is shitty

**LoneWolf** · 03-14-2015, 04:32 AM

Mine won 2014's ChiefsPlanet NooB of the Year.

**lewdog** · 03-14-2015, 07:37 AM

Who knew Bufkin was Mormon?

Lonewolf Ed · 03-14-2015, 08:42 AM

It didn't happen to me, but to my dear friend and I was a witness. Back in 1995, he and I were partying in Aalborg on Jomfru Anegade, which is a street with pubs, discos, and fast food so the college crowd gathers there. We ate pizza and I had some with pepperoni and ham and my friend had ham on his. Before leaving the place to head to the train station, I got rumbles and aches in the gut so I went to the can. I must have released every bit of what I ate and then some. It was like a magnet was in the toilet and I was filled with iron. After, I felt smooth and totally cleaned out like I'd drank a Mr. Muscle martini.

On the way to the station, my friend started groaning and holding his stomach. I could hear the rumbles. I said there were toilets at the station. I was right, but... the place was locked and closed down for the night. Same story at the bus station. His eyes were getting wild, looking for bushes, a sleeping bum, anything. I suggested we go back to the pub street since the places were still open. We tried and got a couple of blocks away from the train station when he announced it was going to happen in the next 30 seconds and there was nothing he could do about it. There was an apartment building with an arched entryway to a car park so he headed in. I saw a stack of newspapers and handed him off some like DeBerg giving the ball to Okoye.

I looked each way for cops and then I heard this sound. It was like someone had dumped a tub of wet dish rags and water out of the third floor and it hit the sidewalk, sort of mix of automatic weapon fire and splattering. Did someone see my friend hunched over in the car park and dump refuse on him?

A few moments later, I saw my friend slowly emerge from the shadows, walking stiffly and taking small steps. He kept saying as he grimaced, over and over, "It burns! It burns!" I do not know how many years it took for grass to grow again in that spot where his colon explosively ejected what we had to assume was some very bad ham we both ate, but he had twice as much as I did. We slowly made our way back to the train station and sat on a bench for hours until the first train came. Our night of partying was done.

03-13-2015, 01:30 PM
Bufkin Just here for the Royals Join Date: Jul 2014 Casino cash: $10029260	Describe the biggest, steamiest, nastiest dump you've ever taken How was it? Did you photograph it? If so, please post in here for peer reviewed analysis. Also, if you know how many Courics it was, post that as well. I just took one that resembled Roseanne Barr, both in shape as well as stature. In junior high, I ate like 8 crayons as a dare while playing truth or dare, and I took this ungodly Lincoln log triumphant turd and get this...IT WAS COLORFUL.
Posts: 4,052

03-13-2015, 03:21 PM	#18
Pasta Little Brioni Consuming CP souls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S.A. Casino cash: $3898880	Driving down the highway with the family. Had just eaten huge amounts of cupped beef. There was a huge traffic jam and it started rumbling. Waiting wasn't an option so Sprint full speed to the nearby bushes to the horror of everyone. __________________ **Official TFWdemB Trivia Commisioner**
Posts: 68,642

03-13-2015, 05:02 PM	#19
Scorp Whiskey Tango Foxtrot OVER! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hell Casino cash: $6629000	Well it took about an hour and nine minutes to complete. It was about 8 inches in circumference and 10.3 inches long. There was so much blood through all the straining, but the blood did help for lubrication. It was a chore for sure, my ass hurt for days. __________________
Posts: 4,507

03-13-2015, 05:10 PM	#20
Jim Lahey The shit-winds are blowin Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Sunnyvale trailer park Casino cash: $10013647	I was snacking on some jalapeño peppers straight out of the jar a few months go..I really wasn't paying attention but I ended up eating about 1/5th of the jar. Well...about 2 hours later I had a rumbly in my tumbly. Oh shit I thought. Took a seat and that fire breathing dragon went off. One of the nastiest and definitely the most painful burning shit I've ever taken.
Posts: 637

03-13-2015, 05:26 PM	#21
srvy Fight, build, win! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: KC Casino cash: $1591250	I like to poop on hoods of cars in the early morning hours before anyone is awake. I usually go to taco bell to eat then go to bed make a good loose stool on the hood of your car.
Posts: 24,390

03-13-2015, 08:54 PM	#23
Athis Veteran Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: New Orleans Casino cash: $3464294	It was during Mardi Gras that it happened. I drank A LOT of cranberry and Stoli on Saturday. I was warned that cranberry acts like like a laxative. Well Sunday morning I didn't feel like taking a dump so went to another parade in another area of town. While at the parade I felt the rumbling coming on and talked my girl into leaving. We had to drive across town and no I was taking a dump at a public place. We were about four blocks away from her house and I felt the DEMON crowning. I hit the gas and by the time I got out of the car my sphincter couldn't hold back Beelzebub. So the biggest, steamiest, nastiest dump you've ever taken was in my pants.
Posts: 2,193

03-13-2015, 08:57 PM	#24
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $3361616	You Mormons are ****ed in the head.
Posts: 100,821

03-13-2015, 09:24 PM	#26
Red Beans Not dead yet... Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Indian Creek Casino cash: $3189903	One Friday, back in my more self destructive days, I ate about 10 vicodin during a night of drinking. The day after was Saturday, and I eased the hangover with some bbq, day drinking a few Bloody Marys, a sushi dinner, and a few more vicodin to bolster another night of many, many beers. When I woke that Sunday, my stomach signaled it was time for a cleansing beer shit. What occurred was a 45 minute ordeal that involed nearly pulling the towel rack off the wall, and an alternating stream of of curses and prayers. What it produced was a turd the size and shape of a softball. My ass hurt til Tuesday.
Posts: 2,794

03-13-2015, 11:41 PM	#27
Why Not? In Search of a Life Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Kansas Casino cash: $3078994	This thread is shitty
Posts: 21,731

03-14-2015, 04:32 AM	#28
LoneWolf Constable of Untruths Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wichita Casino cash: $1651084	Mine won 2014's ChiefsPlanet NooB of the Year.
Posts: 15,009

03-14-2015, 07:37 AM	#29
lewdog Mod Team Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Valley of the hot as **** Casino cash: $1821900	Who knew Bufkin was Mormon?
Posts: 45,602

03-14-2015, 08:42 AM	#30
Lonewolf Ed Veteran Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Olathe, KS Casino cash: $10606233	It didn't happen to me, but to my dear friend and I was a witness. Back in 1995, he and I were partying in Aalborg on Jomfru Anegade, which is a street with pubs, discos, and fast food so the college crowd gathers there. We ate pizza and I had some with pepperoni and ham and my friend had ham on his. Before leaving the place to head to the train station, I got rumbles and aches in the gut so I went to the can. I must have released every bit of what I ate and then some. It was like a magnet was in the toilet and I was filled with iron. After, I felt smooth and totally cleaned out like I'd drank a Mr. Muscle martini. On the way to the station, my friend started groaning and holding his stomach. I could hear the rumbles. I said there were toilets at the station. I was right, but... the place was locked and closed down for the night. Same story at the bus station. His eyes were getting wild, looking for bushes, a sleeping bum, anything. I suggested we go back to the pub street since the places were still open. We tried and got a couple of blocks away from the train station when he announced it was going to happen in the next 30 seconds and there was nothing he could do about it. There was an apartment building with an arched entryway to a car park so he headed in. I saw a stack of newspapers and handed him off some like DeBerg giving the ball to Okoye. I looked each way for cops and then I heard this sound. It was like someone had dumped a tub of wet dish rags and water out of the third floor and it hit the sidewalk, sort of mix of automatic weapon fire and splattering. Did someone see my friend hunched over in the car park and dump refuse on him? A few moments later, I saw my friend slowly emerge from the shadows, walking stiffly and taking small steps. He kept saying as he grimaced, over and over, "It burns! It burns!" I do not know how many years it took for grass to grow again in that spot where his colon explosively ejected what we had to assume was some very bad ham we both ate, but he had twice as much as I did. We slowly made our way back to the train station and sat on a bench for hours until the first train came. Our night of partying was done.
Posts: 3,774