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11-19-2012, 02:34 PM | #1 |
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I'd want my kids to get my wife out of the house. I'd want them to confront him, but not in front of my grandkids. that is a great point by the way.
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11-19-2012, 01:33 PM | #2 |
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What would Jules Winnfield say and do?
Maybe if you decide to go, you can offer to lead the family meal prayer and recite Ezekiel 25:17 Offering to have dinner at your house might be a good option too. |
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11-19-2012, 01:34 PM | #3 |
#triggering
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Yeah, the sticky part to all of this is what happens when you don't show up? Does that create some 'issues' that become amplified when Mr. Good Guy decides to drink a few that night? You never know how things can escalate...
If you're there - you can always use your best judgement to leave and/or have the children leave the room/house while you address the situation. Sounds like your mom is in a bad place and feels that she needs this guy's company because ... well, she doesn't like being alone and while this guy is likely 100% bad news, she tries to deal with it. Either way, it's nearly a lose/lose situation for you. Do you deprive your kids time at grandmas? Do you leave your mom high and dry at an emotional time of year? This could make her tie to this guy even stronger. I dunno... I do feel bad for you and your mom though. I think you need to suck it up and do what's right even if you don't like it or think it's best. There's a time and place to stand your ground, I'm not certain this is it.
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11-19-2012, 01:34 PM | #4 |
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oh and build your relationship with the BF -- let him feel ya. If she likes the guy, it's worth your time. It's normal for a son to protect your mom.
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11-19-2012, 01:35 PM | #5 |
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I would not go. Your kids come first and that's not a good environment. Eventually, he's going to keep returning to his patterns and show his true colors again, and hopefully your mom won't get hurt in the process.
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11-19-2012, 01:36 PM | #6 |
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11-19-2012, 01:39 PM | #7 |
#triggering
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You can view it as a teaching moment too... one day, your kids will grow up and how would you like them to handle a similar situation? I don't know how old the kids are, so they may not be ready for it.
The good news is that YOU can be ready for it and YOU will be ready for it... plan accordingly and do right by the family.
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11-19-2012, 01:41 PM | #8 | |
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11-19-2012, 01:45 PM | #9 | |
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Quote:
I don't know if his mom has a history of bad decisions or not - is this just abnormal and a bad deal because she's trying to live her life for the first time in forever without his father (died 4 years ago) and she's just in a hell of a bad relationship? If so, then he needs to support his mother and not bail out on her - regardless of how f'ed up this could be... Family is family, he doesn't show up and the drunk boyfriend wins and further dictates how life rolls.
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11-19-2012, 01:40 PM | #10 |
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Third.
How you play this teaches your kids a significant lesson about how they are to deal with relationships. The last thing you want is for your daughter to think it's OK to be treated like this by a man, and your sons sure shouldn't learn that it's ever OK to treat a woman like this. I have a serious protective streak and my initial impulse response might not be the best solution. I'm honestly a little torn, but I think remembering that your utmost important responsibility to your children and their protection is your best true north. |
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11-19-2012, 01:35 PM | #11 |
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By not going you’re not only hurting your mom your letting the doucher win. He will have then successfully chased you away from your own family. Don’t know if that’s his goal or not but **** him regardless. Go and make him the uncomfortable one. Keep your trap, mostly, shut but make sure he leaves knowing that if he ever lays a finger on your mother in anger he’ll finish his life eating through a straw and shitting in a bag.
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11-19-2012, 01:37 PM | #12 | |
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11-19-2012, 01:39 PM | #13 | |
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11-19-2012, 01:40 PM | #14 | |
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The point about the kids is valid, so if you don't want your kids to see the discomfort, just go on your own and do their Thanksgiving at home. Two turkeys never killed anybody unless someone has a hunting story that I haven't heard.
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11-19-2012, 01:48 PM | #15 | |
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Good luck to you and your mom, whichever route you travel. |
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