Letters from Bump

[Bump]

May as well start my own thread. I already posted these in the "letter's from an asshole" but they're gonna get posted here too.

This is my new favorite hobby. ****ing with people on craigslist is funny as hell. I want to share my conversations and these are 100% legit. I just straight up copy and paste from the emails onto wordpad. Nothing edited or changed. If it's not real, it's not funny.

Probably requires a certain sense of humor.

This first one, this guy was trying to sell this Bull Skull. I will no longer be linking the Ad after one of you emailed this guy and tipped him off and he claimed to be from Chiefsplanet in Boston, lol.

"Cow's Skull with horns" $75.



me:

Hello,
I came across your ad on facebook. I'm interested in this piece, would
like to know a little bit more before I make a purchasing decision. Has it
sold yet?

Thanks, Jessica

him:

Still have it, you want to come look at it

me:

Mostly I would like to know of it's origins. See I am a historic art appraiser and believe it or not, the type of bull that it comes from matters a lot when determining a value. Do you know anything about it's history?

him:

I don't know history. Sorry
feel free to tell me what you think i have.
thanks

me:

That's ok, I can tell easily from the photo that it is the skull from a Corriente Bull, this bull originates from Spain and is a less aggressive bull, which makes them great for amatuer rodeo's. This skull is a highly desired piece because of it's rarity in the United States. If you tried to sell this in Texas, you could get a lot more than what you are asking.

Now I could have easily purchased it from you for your asking price, but I wouldn't feel right about it. I would like to offer to help you sell it at auction. I take 20% commission on the sale price.

Let me know if you are interested.

Thank You, Jessica Barfield

him:

how much do you think it would sell for?

me:

Back in the Civil War, spainards helped the USA by providing us with Cattle to feed the troops. The Corriente Bull was brought over here, only 20 of them! Since then, all that remains in the US for Corrienthian bulls are ancestors of those Civil War bulls. Anything tied to the Civil War increases value.
The skull you have is highly desired. You will never see the skull of a Corrienthian bull on display in Spain, they burry the bull when it dies, it's something that they would never do because they take great pride in their bulls, running with the bulls is what they are famous for!

You don't see Corrienthian bull skulls often, they are very rare. If I advertise this for you at an auction, this would attract all types of collectors such as rodeo and civil war collectors. 20 years ago, a Corrienthian bull skull sold at auction for $11,250. Now that was back then, the economy was much better and people had more disposable income. Now, I don't think it would get quite that much. But I think it could get close to $7,500. But you never know! If you could get 3 or 4 bidders, the sky is the limit!

Selling at auctions isn't easy, people who would buy this have to know about it. That's where I come in, I've been in this business with my father ever since I graduated high school and I showed him this find and he got mad at me because I didn't just buy it for your asking price, lol. I could help you sell this. 20% commission is what I ask.

I hope you are interested!

him:

Whats your business name and do you have a store? I wouldn't mind meeting you and seeing how the whole process works.

thanks

me:

My father and I work out of our house, we are successful with what we do. But we live on a ranch and have operate out of our home, my father has always ran his business this way. The name of our business for tax purposes is Barfield Auction Hunter, llc. We don't even have a website, I'm still trying to convince him that a website is a good idea but he's very old-school.
I would definitely like to arrange a meeting, but since this is craigslist I ask for a public place.

Are you able to get to downtown Boston? Jacques Cabaret on Broadway is my favorite place to do business, it's elegant. My treat of course.
Sincerely,
Jessica

him:

him:
I can go to where ever you want to go but I prefer to do all business transactions in private, so i suggest your place. I feel that if we are attracted to one another why not mix business with pleasure. I'm not concerned about your father as you said he old school, that just tells me that he willing to seal any way possible. I will need to bring my driver with me as I don't drive, and I will need for you to front me some cash or a check to pay for gas and tolls over to you, as you were going to pay dinner anyway I'm sure you wont have a problem with it.

him (an hour later):

Whats the matter Bump!!! Can't respond back when the joke is on you!! I knew it was you as I am a member of chiefs planet too.... So, I guess in the long run your the one who got punked!!!! I guess your a sore loser.... HA ha ha