Life Heaven help me, I don't want to become a helicopter parent.

Braincase · 11-11-2008, 10:02 PM

I've always been pretty good about being a low-key sports parent. Drop the kids off at practice, go do something else for an hour, go back and pick them up.

That's going to change.

Tonight I picked my daughters up from basketball practice. They're in 5th and 6th grade, playing in a 5/6 league sponsored by Parks & Rec. I originally signed them both up to play for the same team my oldest daughter played for last year, and I wanted to keep them together, but something happened and there weren't enough spots open for both of my daughters on that team. We got reassigned to a new team, patchwork, with a couple of moms coaching. One mom who is suposed to be the head coach seems pretty nice. The other is taking over the team, setting up her 4th grader (yeah, playing up) as the star of the team which essentially means ball hog.

My youngest daughter was in tears on the way home from practice tonight begging for me to put her on a different team.

They've got my oldest daughter playing a 1-2 when she's always played a 4 or a 5 (aggressive rebounder and shot blocker, average scorer). My youngest is playing the 2 as well, when she's more of a 3-4 (this one is going to be 6 feet tall).

The fourth grader is a helluvan athlete, but she makes stupid mistakes, picking up her dribble without having a freakin' clue where she's going to put the ball, turnovers, bad shot selection, and zero passing.

My kids have always been coached from a team perspective. Balanced scoring, work the ball inside, get the easy shot, rebound, cherry pick, play good defense.

I guess it's time for me to start showing up . I had intended to coach my 6th graders CYO team after the Parks & Rec season was done, but a bunch of the girls decided to play volleyball instead. I might have to put my whistle back on anyway.

Lord, help me keep my head on straight, and help me be fair. I want to be a good parent & coach. If I do this, I want all the kids to improve as individuals and team players.

**luv** · 11-11-2008, 10:17 PM

Kudos to you. Sincerely.

**Dartgod** · 11-11-2008, 10:20 PM

WTF is a helicopter parent?

**chasedude** · 11-11-2008, 10:21 PM

What does it mean to be a "Helicopter Parent"?

**Dartgod** · 11-11-2008, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gochasedude

What does it mean to be a "Helicopter Parent"?

Thank goodness someone finally asked.

smittysbar · 11-11-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod

Thank goodness someone finally asked.

Never heard of it.

**luv** · 11-11-2008, 10:37 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children.

An extension of the term, "Black Hawk parents," has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior, such as writing their children's college admission essays. (The reference is to the military helicopter of the same name.) Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own.

**KcMizzou** · 11-11-2008, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gochasedude

What does it mean to be a "Helicopter Parent"?

A parent who hovers over their child... you know the type.

Thig Lyfe · 11-11-2008, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gochasedude

What does it mean to be a "Helicopter Parent"?

**cdcox** · 11-11-2008, 10:40 PM

Parents who hover around their kids.

There are parents who call college professors about their kid's grades (never happened to me).

Corporate recruiters now openly recognize that they also have to court the parents of the recruit, because the parent's opinion will play a huge role in where the young professional goes to work.

**luv** · 11-11-2008, 10:41 PM

FTR, I don't think this is the case in this situation. I don't think a helicopter parent would be aware that they have the problem. Also, in this case, you may be preventing a problem, but you're also going to be a fair coach to your kids, as well as others.

Groves · 11-11-2008, 10:48 PM

I saw we go with curling parent.

**TinyEvel** · 11-11-2008, 11:51 PM

First question to ask is, "Are they having fun?"

Right? No brainer.

Then, let them flourish where they do best. I have no idea about the number system you mention (regarding positions, or play-type) but the big thing might be to not get politcal.

From your description, the mom coach with the 4th grader seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Anyone else stepping up to coach? No? then you might have little grounds for complaint.
I remember as a kid, in any croup activity (football, T-ball, Boy Scouts) the kid with the parent who's the coach/leader is always the "star." But that doesn't make it right.
Not sure what to say, but helicopter is not the way to go.

Just don't do anything rash. Don't grab the torches and pitchforks. The goal is to let the girls have fun and develop athletic/social skills.

Sorry to be Herm/vague. Just kinda saying this is touchy. Tread lightly.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 11-11-2008, 11:59 PM

My In-laws are this to my wife's little brother.

Went to his HS Golf tournaments (WTF??), checked his grades everyday on-line, called his teachers anytime they didn't like one of his grades...

Now he's halfway through his first semester of college and he's going to flunk out of a 32K a year private school that isn't even that good of a school (along with losing 20 grand of scholarships and 6K of their own money in one semester).

Nice work, guys

L.A. Chieffan · 11-12-2008, 12:03 AM

I got a couple of little people that live with me and eat my food and watch my TV and stuff. Am i being too controlling?

11-11-2008, 10:02 PM
Braincase Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Pond> Me <Barn Casino cash: $11298284	Heaven help me, I don't want to become a helicopter parent. I've always been pretty good about being a low-key sports parent. Drop the kids off at practice, go do something else for an hour, go back and pick them up. That's going to change. Tonight I picked my daughters up from basketball practice. They're in 5th and 6th grade, playing in a 5/6 league sponsored by Parks & Rec. I originally signed them both up to play for the same team my oldest daughter played for last year, and I wanted to keep them together, but something happened and there weren't enough spots open for both of my daughters on that team. We got reassigned to a new team, patchwork, with a couple of moms coaching. One mom who is suposed to be the head coach seems pretty nice. The other is taking over the team, setting up her 4th grader (yeah, playing up) as the star of the team which essentially means ball hog. My youngest daughter was in tears on the way home from practice tonight begging for me to put her on a different team. They've got my oldest daughter playing a 1-2 when she's always played a 4 or a 5 (aggressive rebounder and shot blocker, average scorer). My youngest is playing the 2 as well, when she's more of a 3-4 (this one is going to be 6 feet tall). The fourth grader is a helluvan athlete, but she makes stupid mistakes, picking up her dribble without having a freakin' clue where she's going to put the ball, turnovers, bad shot selection, and zero passing. My kids have always been coached from a team perspective. Balanced scoring, work the ball inside, get the easy shot, rebound, cherry pick, play good defense. I guess it's time for me to start showing up . I had intended to coach my 6th graders CYO team after the Parks & Rec season was done, but a bunch of the girls decided to play volleyball instead. I might have to put my whistle back on anyway. Lord, help me keep my head on straight, and help me be fair. I want to be a good parent & coach. If I do this, I want all the kids to improve as individuals and team players.
Posts: 15,429

11-11-2008, 10:17 PM	#2
luv MY LITTLE #15 Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $6229600	Kudos to you. Sincerely.
Posts: 63,430

11-11-2008, 10:20 PM	#3
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $7370000	WTF is a helicopter parent? __________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 51,126

11-11-2008, 10:21 PM	#4
chasedude Supporter Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: St. Joe Casino cash: $10004900	What does it mean to be a "Helicopter Parent"?
Posts: 36,287

11-11-2008, 10:37 PM	#7
luv MY LITTLE #15 Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $6229600	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children. An extension of the term, "Black Hawk parents," has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior, such as writing their children's college admission essays. (The reference is to the military helicopter of the same name.) Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own.
Posts: 63,430

11-11-2008, 10:40 PM	#10
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2331769	Parents who hover around their kids. There are parents who call college professors about their kid's grades (never happened to me). Corporate recruiters now openly recognize that they also have to court the parents of the recruit, because the parent's opinion will play a huge role in where the young professional goes to work.
Posts: 45,537

11-11-2008, 10:41 PM	#11
luv MY LITTLE #15 Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $6229600	FTR, I don't think this is the case in this situation. I don't think a helicopter parent would be aware that they have the problem. Also, in this case, you may be preventing a problem, but you're also going to be a fair coach to your kids, as well as others.
Posts: 63,430

11-11-2008, 10:48 PM	#12
Groves Turning the Corner Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Springfield, Missouri Casino cash: $2318541	I saw we go with curling parent.
Posts: 2,380

11-11-2008, 11:51 PM	#13
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $5387131	First question to ask is, "Are they having fun?" Right? No brainer. Then, let them flourish where they do best. I have no idea about the number system you mention (regarding positions, or play-type) but the big thing might be to not get politcal. From your description, the mom coach with the 4th grader seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Anyone else stepping up to coach? No? then you might have little grounds for complaint. I remember as a kid, in any croup activity (football, T-ball, Boy Scouts) the kid with the parent who's the coach/leader is always the "star." But that doesn't make it right. Not sure what to say, but helicopter is not the way to go. Just don't do anything rash. Don't grab the torches and pitchforks. The goal is to let the girls have fun and develop athletic/social skills. Sorry to be Herm/vague. Just kinda saying this is touchy. Tread lightly.
Posts: 11,811

11-11-2008, 11:59 PM	#14
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $8009572	My In-laws are this to my wife's little brother. Went to his HS Golf tournaments (WTF??), checked his grades everyday on-line, called his teachers anytime they didn't like one of his grades... Now he's halfway through his first semester of college and he's going to flunk out of a 32K a year private school that isn't even that good of a school (along with losing 20 grand of scholarships and 6K of their own money in one semester). Nice work, guys __________________ "When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
Posts: 74,827

11-12-2008, 12:03 AM	#15
L.A. Chieffan PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: American Gardens Building Casino cash: $4028654	I got a couple of little people that live with me and eat my food and watch my TV and stuff. Am i being too controlling?
Posts: 17,368