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Old 08-09-2010, 12:35 PM  
FAX FAX is offline
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FAX And The Morphine Withdrawal
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... mother****ing child of God's abandon ****ing fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF
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Old 08-10-2010, 10:20 AM   #91
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Old 08-10-2010, 10:30 AM   #92
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Or very smart.

Apparently, I have an addictive personality ... if one's good, two must be better type of thing. That's how I wound up on such high dosages ... I have never, ever experienced anything like this, though. It's incomprehensible, frankly. I feel like I've been blasted with a shit cannon. Ick, indeed, Mr. Donger.

Funny thing, though. I have songs ... new ones ... running through my mind like I can't remember ... as though my subconscious is reactivating or something. Incredible and unexplainable.

My sincere appreciation and love goes out to you guys for your support.

I'm gonna go get some exercise.

FAX
Hmmm...My kid has been in Nashville for a couple of weeks writing new tunes for their next CD....I should tell him to look you up - Especially with those new songs going through your head!
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Old 08-10-2010, 10:43 AM   #93
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You hang tough FAX, i know you will make it through this. You are stronger then your know. Pray for God's help on this also, i'm sure you already have.

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Old 08-10-2010, 10:48 AM   #94
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Or very smart.

Apparently, I have an addictive personality ... if one's good, two must be better type of thing. That's how I wound up on such high dosages ... I have never, ever experienced anything like this, though. It's incomprehensible, frankly. I feel like I've been blasted with a shit cannon. Ick, indeed, Mr. Donger.

Funny thing, though. I have songs ... new ones ... running through my mind like I can't remember ... as though my subconscious is reactivating or something. Incredible and unexplainable.

My sincere appreciation and love goes out to you guys for your support.

I'm gonna go get some exercise.



FAX
I had a post written earlier, but never got it posted, and it was about how all of your senses were going to return, and hit you all at once. That feeling of chills that runs up your spine, and over your head when you hear "that" song/songs. You are going to feel emotions that you forgot you had, actually I'm sure you already are. I cried tears for the first time since my best friend died 7 years ago. I actually would well up about once a day while listening to music. A lot of that had to do with the fact that my mother was an addict, and our lives as children were severely affected by it, and I swore I would never let that happen to me..........and I did.
It still gives me a little knot in my throat.

"So I swallow these capsules

to regain my grip

And I swallowed myself sick"

And I inherited my health"

couldn't find a better way to lie"

I met my beautiful GF at the peak of my addiction, and lied to her about it for 7 months. When I came out of it, she said she didn't even know who I was, and neither did I. She was right. I was back on within 10 days.
Thankfully she has come to love me for who I really am.
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Old 08-10-2010, 11:33 AM   #95
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You are on the downhill run on this now Mr. Fax stay strong a couple of more days and it will be 100 times easier. Good job on your choice.
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Old 08-10-2010, 01:22 PM   #96
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Sept of 2000 after my accident, I re-habbed from Heroine and Coke while in a body cast.
I can certainly relate to what your gong through Fax, it ain't fun, not one bit.
hang tough bud
Winner.
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Old 08-10-2010, 01:27 PM   #97
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... mother****ing child of God's abandon ****ing fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF
Yeah, addiction's a mother****er.

Not that I can truly relate 'cause I've never tried to quit any of mine, but I hear it's the snake's bite...
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Old 08-10-2010, 01:30 PM   #98
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Old 08-10-2010, 01:38 PM   #99
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"Let me do an impression"

"Caw Caw BANG **** I'm Dead!!"
This.

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"Well I suggest we have a moment of introspective silence for ol' Tin-Tin; SNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRT"!
One of the best bad guys evah.
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:44 AM   #100
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How you doin Fax??

PLEASE hang tough my friend.
Without going into detail, I was tempted last night. I mean really tempted. I felt like dog crap, had a lot of stuff that I to do, and had all the free Opiates I would need to feel like superman while taking care of all these tasks right with me the whole time.
I didn't touch them, and now I feel like superman because I beat that shit. I didn't do it.
Damn I feel strong!! I'm so proud of myself.

YOU CAN DO THIS MAN!!! You WILL feel better. I promise you, but it's gonna take some time. Seriously it's gonna take damn near 3 weeks to fully shed the lethargy, and overall feelings of uselessness.
WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm loving life.
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Old 08-12-2010, 11:16 AM   #101
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How you doin Fax??

PLEASE hang tough my friend.
Without going into detail, I was tempted last night. I mean really tempted. I felt like dog crap, had a lot of stuff that I to do, and had all the free Opiates I would need to feel like superman while taking care of all these tasks right with me the whole time.
I didn't touch them, and now I feel like superman because I beat that shit. I didn't do it.
Damn I feel strong!! I'm so proud of myself.

YOU CAN DO THIS MAN!!! You WILL feel better. I promise you, but it's gonna take some time. Seriously it's gonna take damn near 3 weeks to fully shed the lethargy, and overall feelings of uselessness.
WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm loving life.
beach tribe, I love this post. Hearing about these kinds of successes makes my day so much better, man.

I pray that it helps strengthen you, Mr. FAX as well as all the unnamed others who haven't yet come in from their lonely, silent suffering.
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Old 08-12-2010, 11:54 AM   #102
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Old 08-13-2010, 04:58 PM   #103
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How you doin Fax??

PLEASE hang tough my friend.
Without going into detail, I was tempted last night. I mean really tempted. I felt like dog crap, had a lot of stuff that I to do, and had all the free Opiates I would need to feel like superman while taking care of all these tasks right with me the whole time.
I didn't touch them, and now I feel like superman because I beat that shit. I didn't do it.
Damn I feel strong!! I'm so proud of myself.

YOU CAN DO THIS MAN!!! You WILL feel better. I promise you, but it's gonna take some time. Seriously it's gonna take damn near 3 weeks to fully shed the lethargy, and overall feelings of uselessness.
WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm loving life.
You're a good man, Mr. beach tribe.

To be honest, I'm feeling horrible right now. This "lethargy" you mentioned is kicking my butt. I "want" to do things, but I can't. My arms and legs feel like lead. I have not yet succumbed to temptation, however. Thank God.

This might be the worst part, though ... this malaise stuff. Certainly the most frustrating. Gonna try and listen to the game tonight ... for awhile, anyhow. Go Chiefs!

FAX
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Old 08-13-2010, 08:41 PM   #104
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You're a good man, Mr. beach tribe.

To be honest, I'm feeling horrible right now. This "lethargy" you mentioned is kicking my butt. I "want" to do things, but I can't. My arms and legs feel like lead. I have not yet succumbed to temptation, however. Thank God.

This might be the worst part, though ... this malaise stuff. Certainly the most frustrating. Gonna try and listen to the game tonight ... for awhile, anyhow. Go Chiefs!

FAX
Good vibes Mr. FAX. Hang in there. One step at a time. Just look for one positive thing every day. Rome wasn't built in a day. Baby steps.
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Old 08-14-2010, 01:32 PM   #105
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The first time I came off the old school, uncut Oxy's, I just kept a steady amount of booze in my system and it helped. If your liver can take it; start drinkin'.
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