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12-24-2012, 10:41 PM | #1 | |
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2 families becoming one is not a cakewalk and it takes a lot of give and take on both sides. I really don't see her as being dishonest, maybe she wants this to work and it helps to have someone to talk to confidentially.
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12-24-2012, 10:50 PM | #2 | |
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12-24-2012, 10:54 PM | #3 | |
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Well said!
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12-24-2012, 10:28 PM | #4 |
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my last girlfriend and I never, not one time, felt the need to read each other's text messages.
When I was 18 my first girlfriend and I were having serious issues. I moved away to college and broke up with her, found out she started hanging out with one of my close friends from back home and it turned into a huge competition to see who would win. This is my favorite relationship because it taught me everything to NEVER do again. One time she was over and I took her phone and threatened to read her text messages and she FREAKED out. I knew then and there that A) the relationship was over and B) my God I'd never put myself in that situation again. Since then I've picked four girlfriends all from the same mold. They simply never work out, so I need to re-brand myself I think, but the last thing either of us would ever do would be to read each other's text messages behind one another's back. I wouldn't even think about it, and we'd leave our phones around unattended at each other's places consistently. I would never want to date someone like I dated in high school (after we broke up the first time). Competition relationships were awful and after it took me a good 6 months and a college dropout when I was 18 the first time around...I learned REAL quick. BUT...that is one lesson I'm glad I learned. |
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12-24-2012, 10:32 PM | #5 |
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of course the last two girlfriends of mine and I have broken up because I date college seniors who always move away when the relationships get good and I'm too much of a dipshit to take a chance and move with...or as my friends put it, "Rick why do all of your girlfriends always move 3000 miles away after three months with you?" which is something I should probably look in to.
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12-24-2012, 10:45 PM | #6 | |
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12-24-2012, 10:48 PM | #7 | |
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I think I'm done with it. The count down until graduation/move away/what now? is just not fun anymore. The last relationship it was the elephant in the room from the day we started dating..."oh in 5 months you move 4 hours away to student teach for a whole semester!" It just can't work anymore. I'm the creepy 27 year old who still goes to the 19-22 year old bars because I'm simply not attracted to older women. I don't know what it is. So I'm just done. No more drinking for me, which means no more girls for me either. It's depressing. |
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12-24-2012, 10:54 PM | #8 | |
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Asshole calling me creepy! |
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12-24-2012, 10:58 PM | #9 | |
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There is a karaoke night every Wednesday that is guaranteed 'find a girl and take her home' night for me and my roommate and it was never like that when we were 22. Older, wise, richer and the bartenders who are used to getting shitty tips from 20 year olds all night love us (because we tip) so we get more attention from them and we become the life of the bar...it's fantastic. AND I'M GIVING IT ALL UP =( I think this is the most depressed I've been in my life. I google'd "what to do in Champaign that doesn't involve drinking" this week. At least I've confirmed to myself I have no dependency on alcohol...I don't miss drinking one bit and it has been two weeks. I just miss the social scene that comes with alcohol that you can't find anywhere else without it. |
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12-24-2012, 10:37 PM | #10 |
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Relationships are about trust and communication. If the relationship is lacking those 2 key things, it is doomed. All it takes is for one partner to lose trust in the other and that's when the vicious cycle begins. That person resents the other for lying and that person resents the other for snooping.
Eventually someone will get sick of the shit and leave. |
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12-24-2012, 10:38 PM | #11 |
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I guess the reason I'm participating in this thread is...
I'm pretty disappointed my last girlfriend and I didn't work out. There were a lot of factors that worked against us and we still remain close friends. It's tough since we broke up so close to the holidays. I just know I'd be kicking myself and beating myself up constantly if the reason our relationship ended was because I was a complete dumbass and read her text messages. Perhaps your fiance is like a typical women and likes to dramatize things just, you know, to be dramatic? My sister is happily married with two beautiful young boys who I got to spend the day with...happy as could be. Great husband...his family, mom in particular...basically a bat shit insane lunatic. She gets very annoyed by her and her sister-in-law who is very self-centered. This is something everyone already knows but she plays the part. Does she talk to my mom about it sometimes? Vent about it a little? Sure. That's what you do with in-laws. Meh. Whatever. I think the OP needs to look at himself in the mirror and correct his actions before he starts a fight with someone he might care about and potentially ruin something that might really be good for him. I think violating someone's privacy is far worse than talking shit about your S.O.'s parents/family. |
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12-24-2012, 10:44 PM | #12 |
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It is. He should not have done that. But having done it, he found out something worth knowing, and IMO something worth moving on over. I don't care about much, but that's a deal breaker for me.
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12-24-2012, 10:45 PM | #13 |
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I've gone out of my way in the past NOT to read my girlfriends text messages. In fact, I rarely ever ask about a girl's past. I like the line in Jerry Maguire where Zellwenger says "lets not tell each other our sad stories."
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12-24-2012, 10:52 PM | #14 |
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That's what I'm saying. She could just be pulling the typical "woman" and over-dramatizing something just to have a topic to gossip about. This is why you don't read your girlfriends text messages.
I would never date someone I didn't trust. Reading text messages that aren't yours...whether they are your mom's, your girlfriend's, your best friend's, etc...is just downright CREEPY and IRRATIONAL. |
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12-24-2012, 10:59 PM | #15 |
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I get...and agree that what he did was a bit wrong. But I'm still of the mind that honesty about her feelings toward his family are necessary.
Now...having read some of the more recent posts I understand we have to look at the context. I'm in the ballpark with many others who hides none of my texts from my spouse....and she hides none from me. If she has something to say she has the fortitude to say it to me directly...not behind my back to someone else whether it is family or best friend. And we've last this long. |
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