Ides of March: The Real Story

**Bob Dole** · 03-15-2006, 09:12 AM

It's that time of year again.

Thanks to mistranslation and that hack author, William Shakespeare, "Beware the Ides of March!" has become one of history's most miquoted lines.

Julius Caeser picked up a travelling coconcubine, Greta (pronounced Debbie), after completing his conquest of Gaul in 51BC. Greta accompanied him on his conquests of Brundisium and on to his landing in Alexandria in 48BC. At that point, Greta became jealous of Caeser's trysts with Cleopatra and became quite irritated by Caeser's repeated command, "Get in the kitchen and bake me a pie, bitch!" Evidence of her companionship and role in Caeser's life is evidenced by Caeser's other mistranslated quote after conquering Pontus in 47BC, when he uttered, "Veni, vidi, vici" or "I came, I saw, I ate pie."

As Caeser swept through Asia Minor to settle the disturbances there on his return trip to Rome, Greta became increasingly irritated. Caeser, never much in touch with the feelings of those around him, was oblivious to the developing problem. After Caeser's return to Rome. a local soothsayer named Tom Condon (pronounced Dick) caught the attention of Caeser at an after-work mixer, and passed along the warning, "Beware the pies of March." Caeser dismissed the warning as the ramblings of a lunatic and had Condon put to death.

Emboldened, the victorious and now unchallenged Caeser celebrated his four splendid triumphs (over the Gauls, Egyptians, Pharnaces and Juba) by demanding an ever-increasing quantity of Greta's delicious pie. Finally, Greta cracked under the years of pressure and in cooperation with some 60 conspirators, led by Marcus Junius Brutus, she served Caeser a fig pie laced with poison on March 15 of 44BC.

StcChief · 03-15-2006, 09:50 AM

Taking Liberty with history.

**Mr. Kotter** · 03-15-2006, 10:09 AM

And THAT'S the rest of the story.....

Heh.

**Rain Man** · 03-15-2006, 10:39 AM

Another minor tidbit. As Caesar lay dying, Brutus came to his side, and said, "Did you eat a piece of poison pie, Caesar?"

With one of his last breaths, Caesar gasped out, "I et tu, Brutus."

**cdcox** · 03-15-2006, 10:49 AM

Caesar was evidently a combat veteran.

chagrin · 03-15-2006, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Another minor tidbit. As Caesar lay dying, Brutus came to his side, and said, "Did you eat a piece of poison pie, Caesar?"

With one of his last breaths, Caesar gasped out, "I et tu, Brutus."

Beautiful

ChiefsFanatic · 03-15-2006, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Another minor tidbit. As Caesar lay dying, Brutus came to his side, and said, "Did you eat a piece of poison pie, Caesar?"

With one of his last breaths, Caesar gasped out, "I et tu, Brutus."

Rep.

03-15-2006, 09:12 AM
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $2604497	Ides of March: The Real Story It's that time of year again. Thanks to mistranslation and that hack author, William Shakespeare, "Beware the Ides of March!" has become one of history's most miquoted lines. Julius Caeser picked up a travelling coconcubine, Greta (pronounced Debbie), after completing his conquest of Gaul in 51BC. Greta accompanied him on his conquests of Brundisium and on to his landing in Alexandria in 48BC. At that point, Greta became jealous of Caeser's trysts with Cleopatra and became quite irritated by Caeser's repeated command, "Get in the kitchen and bake me a pie, bitch!" Evidence of her companionship and role in Caeser's life is evidenced by Caeser's other mistranslated quote after conquering Pontus in 47BC, when he uttered, "Veni, vidi, vici" or "I came, I saw, I ate pie." As Caeser swept through Asia Minor to settle the disturbances there on his return trip to Rome, Greta became increasingly irritated. Caeser, never much in touch with the feelings of those around him, was oblivious to the developing problem. After Caeser's return to Rome. a local soothsayer named Tom Condon (pronounced Dick) caught the attention of Caeser at an after-work mixer, and passed along the warning, "Beware the pies of March." Caeser dismissed the warning as the ramblings of a lunatic and had Condon put to death. Emboldened, the victorious and now unchallenged Caeser celebrated his four splendid triumphs (over the Gauls, Egyptians, Pharnaces and Juba) by demanding an ever-increasing quantity of Greta's delicious pie. Finally, Greta cracked under the years of pressure and in cooperation with some 60 conspirators, led by Marcus Junius Brutus, she served Caeser a fig pie laced with poison on March 15 of 44BC.
Posts: 48,534

03-15-2006, 09:50 AM	#2
StcChief Playing for #1 Draft Pick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Just West of Lambs land Casino cash: $10004900	Taking Liberty with history. __________________ sig test for this screwy schema
Posts: 25,901

03-15-2006, 10:09 AM	#3
Mr. Kotter The Dude Abides Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Dakota Country Casino cash: $5895285	And THAT'S the rest of the story..... Heh. __________________ "I've always said I worry about legacy and winning rings more than making money at this moment...We see what's going on around the league, but at the same time, I'll never do anything that's going to hurt us from keeping the great players around me.”
Posts: 46,350

03-15-2006, 10:39 AM	#4
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3338491 VARSITY	Another minor tidbit. As Caesar lay dying, Brutus came to his side, and said, "Did you eat a piece of poison pie, Caesar?" With one of his last breaths, Caesar gasped out, "I et tu, Brutus." __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,338

03-15-2006, 10:49 AM	#5
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2361769	Caesar was evidently a combat veteran.
Posts: 45,536