My daughter and her boyfriend are driving me crazy...

[redshirt32]

A few weeks ago I caught my 14-year-old daughter kissing her "boyfriend"...
I warned her that it is not okay and that it better not happen again...
A week later, the boyfriend's mother catches them kissing but doesn't tell me...
A week later, my wife catches them kissing with heavy petting and does tell me...
Sheesh, I think, what am I going to do? 14 is too young!
So I talk to the both of them and say,
"Do you two wanna keep seeing each other?"
They reply, "Yes."
"Then cut the kissing and stuff out or else you're done."
My daughter later promised me she would do as I asked.
Last night my wife caught them kissing with heavy petting again.
And, of course, she tells me this as I'm going to bed.
So I call Katie out of her bed and bring her into our bedroom.
I confront her and she confirms that she did break the promise.
(Who knows how many times.)
I told her she screwed me and screwed herself.
That I was very hurt that I could no longer trust her.
I also told her she was through seeing the boy;
and the boy was not welcome in our house;
and there would be no further boy-girl social occasions
of any kind: parties, holidays, outings, or the like.
Lastly, that if it gets back to me that she is seeing the boy,
or any boy, behind my back and I find out there is kissing and
heavy petting going on, then I will immediately transfer her from
her school that very day.

Well, was I too hard? I feel like she has been lying to me all along.
What would you have done?

The Fly is Flattened...<P>

[Touchdown Ted]

Wish I could have your paitance Fly,,,The first time I cought my 14yr old would be the time I took my parents approach,,,1 strike your out.
In my opnion,you didn the right thing,,,only you mmust realise also,,,she'll not stop seeing him simply because you said so.
I wish you the best in this matter.

[Baby Lee]

I agree with Clint; however, I didn't have the courage to come out and say it.

Not to get too personal, but if you lean towards getting her on the pill but fear sending the message that you condone sex, and if she has an acne problem, one of the stronger acne medications [name escapes me now] has strong side effects for gestating fetuses and the law requires anyone, male or female, taking them to also institute birth control. Thereby, you can put her on the pill to help her complexion, not to condone sexual activity.

[Baby Lee]

JC,
That's tricky, but it actually sounds like it would be effective.

[Chief Nathan]

JC,

Good point and it will also make her chi chi's bigger to boot...Her boyfriend will love it....Just kidding Fly

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR> Isotretinoin (Accutane, Roaccutane)

Isotretinoin is an oral retinoid used to treat cystic acne. A known teratogen, this medication is contraindicated during pregnancy due to the characteristic malformations it causes. The pattern includes defects of the CNS, thymus, craniofacial and cardiovascular systems, as well as conotruncal malformations. Isotretinoin is thought to affect initial differentiation and migration of cephalic neural crest cells, and the critical period for this medication is 2-5 weeks post conception. Because the teratogenicity of Accutane is fairly well-known, we have chosen to focus upon other common acne medications in this review, rather than summarizing the literature about isotretinoin (for more details, see RISK/NEWSLETTER 3/96). Despite the half-life of approximately 1 day (manufacturer insert), due to the teratogenicity of this medication it is recommended that isotretinoin be discontinued at least one month prior to attempting pregnancy (Braun et al., 1984; Benke, 1984; Rosa, 1983; McBride, 1985; Rizzo et al., 1991). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

While I don't know if it is codified in law, I do know that no doctor will prescribe Accutane without also prescribing the pill and obtaining specific representations from the individual regarding maintaining the regimen prescribed<BR>

[ROBHONDA]

fly...you might try talking to the boy. whether it's w/your daughter, or by himself. surely he knows that you're upset w/their actions.
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[Yosef_Malkovitch]

To tough? Absolutely not. To many people are not hard enough on their kids. They need to be taught the difference from right and wrong when they are young, other wise it will only hurt them more so once they are on their own. Don't back down, you are not doing her any favors if you do.

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liberalism is racist and bigoted - towards all humans

WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

[BigChiefsFan]

This is turning into the Dr. Joyce Brothers board all of a sudden! :D

I was just thinking, though...how would all of us react if Fly's [i]son[/i], rather than daughter was in this situation? Just curious...

But we all have to be careful here. Every kid is different. My parents gave me "enough rope to hang myslef with," as they put it. In high school I had [i]a lot[/i] of sex, did [i]a lot[/i] of drugs and many other things I'm not necessarily proud of (I even used to hang out at Swope Park on Sat. nites. Scary!! :eek: ). How I didn't die is still a bit of a mystery to me.

I went to college, graduated .04 points under cum laude, and I am a well-adjusted adult...except on Sun. during football season! :). Of all of the 20 or so of my good friends that did the same in high school, only 2 of us went on to college and went on to good careers. The rest are either in jail, dead or having a fine career making meth.

It depends on the person. Sometimes being too strict can cause problems, other times it works. Still other times being too loose can work. It's your call Fly...just remember that, at her age, she thinks she knows all. You hve to convince her that you know what you're talking about. KPhobia's idea of counseling is a good idea and nothing to be ashamed of.

MM
~~Is very, very lucky he's not Bubba's prom date in Leavenworth.

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[i]One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.[/i]
--George W. Bush

[TEX]

I thought of another method that may be affective...

invite the boyfriend in....while you clean a gun....and make sure to show him your new castration pliers you got from the vet, and the iodine....that might be a deterant....of course best served with an explaination of when you intend to use it :D

You might buy a fake security camera...hang it in the room they are in...?

[Baby Lee]

Better to be a Dr. Brothers board than a Dr. Laura board.

[Moon§hiner]

Ahh, teenage girls. You have my sympathy, Fly. You will always be the bad guy, no matter what you do.

[Cannibal]

-You can't teach responsibility through prohibition-

Someone once said that, I'm not sure who though, but to a degree it makes sense. IMHO your daughter should be punished for lying to you and disregarding your wishes, but switching schools is a bit harsh.

Instead of focussing on your daughter, turn your attention to the little bastar-, err I mean "boyfriend". Let them go out on a group date, when he arrives to pick up the little princess, walk him to your backyard and have a heart to heart. Let him admire your yard. Tell him "if somebody did something I didn't like I bet I could bury them in little pieces all throughout this yard and nobody would ever find out." Then mumble something about not being right in the head since the war.

Wait outside in a tree for the "boyfriend" to return your daughter from the group date. Blind him with a flashlight taped to your slug gun. Yell out "Friend or Foe!!". Tell him to leave the girl where she is and to back away slowly with his hands up. He should get the point and be a little more respectful of your protective attitude.

[ROBHONDA]

i tried to say it a little less subtle than iowa and chiefnj, but i think comunicating w/the boy might be the way to go.
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[Moon§hiner]

My sister-in-law hid her pregnancy until the 7th month (she was 16). Teenage girls are the worst.