Life need advice with family issue

**Bugeater** · 11-19-2012, 12:48 PM

Go and just stare at the guy menacingly the entire time.

tooge · 11-19-2012, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Go and just stare at the guy menacingly the entire time.

I thought about just sort of going and being cordial, but I said I wasn't going to support this guy being around until he got treatment, and then, I was going to see it develop slowly. It's been 4 weeks ffs. I even told her I'd be happy to drive up in a few weeks to do lunch with her and maybe someday, I'd come to feel differently about him. I actually liked the guy until I heard how he was treating her. I think I have to stick to my guns here, but hell, I could also be nuts. My brother is going, and my sister is conveniently out of town.

Nickel D · 11-19-2012, 05:17 PM

I recommend you go if only to talk to the guy with your mama present (and your brothers & sisters as well, if possible) to find out what he specifically plans to do to permanently stop his abusive behavior. Then state he needs to show you all proof that he's attended AA meetings, anger management class,..whatever. Failure to comply and/or further reports of abuse means you won't be coming back until the dude's packed up and gone for good.

ChiliConCarnage · 11-19-2012, 05:24 PM

I think you made the right choice in not going. The guy lives there so your going essentially endorses their relationship when that isn't how you feel. It's not like you need to kick her out of your life. Invite her over to your place (by herself) for some fun family time next weekend.

I'm not in the once an abuser always an abuser camp (especially if he only has problems when drunk) but alcoholism is a tough disease to kick. If one wife already divorced him over it I'd be pretty surprised if he makes a major life change over being kicked out of the house for a short period.

11-19-2012, 12:48 PM	#1
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6232680	Go and just stare at the guy menacingly the entire time.
Posts: 70,443

11-19-2012, 05:17 PM	#3
Nickel D Veteran Join Date: Mar 2011 Casino cash: $11006781	I recommend you go if only to talk to the guy with your mama present (and your brothers & sisters as well, if possible) to find out what he specifically plans to do to permanently stop his abusive behavior. Then state he needs to show you all proof that he's attended AA meetings, anger management class,..whatever. Failure to comply and/or further reports of abuse means you won't be coming back until the dude's packed up and gone for good.
Posts: 1,321

11-19-2012, 05:24 PM	#4
ChiliConCarnage TACO SALAD Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: yes Casino cash: $1588468	I think you made the right choice in not going. The guy lives there so your going essentially endorses their relationship when that isn't how you feel. It's not like you need to kick her out of your life. Invite her over to your place (by herself) for some fun family time next weekend. I'm not in the once an abuser always an abuser camp (especially if he only has problems when drunk) but alcoholism is a tough disease to kick. If one wife already divorced him over it I'd be pretty surprised if he makes a major life change over being kicked out of the house for a short period.
Posts: 5,900