Head to head competition: Rain Man versus Joe Montana.

[Rain Man]

The Joe Montana ailment thread http://www.chiefsplanet.com/bb/showthread.php?t=298067 got me wondering about this.

I would certainly concede that Joe was a better athlete than me for most of our lives. But while Joe was getting hit by Lawrence Taylor and the 1985 Bears, I was sitting at a desk and keeping fresh legs. If you read the article above, you could draw a conclusion that the athletic gap between me and Joe is narrowing. But has it closed?

To find out, I am issuing a challenge to Joe Montana.

The rules:

5 on 5 football. We will play four 15-minute quarters. Each team gets two receivers/corners and two rushers/blockers who switch teams every drive so that we always have the same players on offense and defense. Assume that these are average guys that you'd find at a pickup game in the park.

We then have Joe and me who oppose each other and play both ways at QB and as a FS/LB. Therefore, the only variable between the two teams is the difference between Joe Montana and me.

So let's do a quick comparison.

Rain Man stats

Age: 52
Height: 6-0
Weight: 185 pounds
Health status: nearsighted.
Current athletic activity: runs a half-marathon every month.
Past athletic resume: 2nd place in 50 yard dash in 2nd grade elementary school field day, 12 years of informal sandlot football, intramural football rotational starter at FS and WR in 1991 and 1992 at the University of Texas.

Joe Montana stats

Age: 59
Height: 6-2 (last measurement in approximately 1993)
Weight: 200 pounds (last measurement in approximately 1993)
Health status: balky knee that gives out when running up a basketball court, knee won't straighten, muscles in left foot have been numb for 30 years, one eye wanders off course due to nerve damage, neck damage that may soon require a fourth vertebrae fusion, arthritis in both hands, one elbow, and both knees
Current athletic activity: unknown.
Past athletic resume: 3 year QB starter at Notre Dame, 14 year NFL starter + 1 backup year, 8 pro bowls, 3 times All Pro, 4 Super Bowl wins all with 100+ QB rating, 2 time NFL MVP, member of Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Whose team will win?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Indian Chief

Along those lines, do you have short hair Rainman? I can't vote for you if you do.

I do not have short hair.

I have no hair, but per Bill Belichick's philosophy, that's not the exact letter of the law in what you said, so I win.

[Rain Man]

My reason for asking this question was to assess Joe's quality of life. Has he gone downhill from his prime? Yeah. But a majority of people still believe that he's more mobile and athletic than a healthy average guy who's 7 years younger. I guess we don't need to feel sorry for Joe, then.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by TimBone

He's gonna be tired, and that eye is gonna start wandering. He may have trouble even finding the edge.

Good points.

[ThaVirus]

I'm gonna need you to upload a video of yourself throwing a tight spiral.

[TimBone]

I just saw him during the coin toss, Rain Man. He looks nervous. You got this.

[SDChiefs]

Joe Montana is the greatest qb of all time but Rain Man is the greatest poster of all time. Team Rain Man 58-3.