Hear any good jokes lately

gonzo88 · 12-16-2000, 12:19 AM

After being inspired by all the cool posts which help relieve us from the heart-ache our beloved Chiefs caused us once again I've come up with one that may fly. I was inspired by a joke that I heard at work today.

A drunk walking out of a bar and runs into a nun on his way home. He walks up to the nun and punches her in the mouth. The nun falls to the ground. As she tries to get back up the drunk kicks her. Down but not out, the nun tries to get up again but the drunk wallups her over the head with his beer bottle. The nun doesn't try to get up anymore. The drunk looks at her and sneers "not too tough tonight are ya batman!"

Not very politicly correct but hey, I found it funny.

Stingie D · 12-16-2000, 01:18 AM

A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks;"How many people here believe in ghosts? About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"Thats really good.I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands.
"Thats fantastic. But let me ask you one further question."Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" 1 student raises his hand. The professor is asthonished.
He takes off his glasses, takes a step back and says, "Son all the years I"ve been giving this lecture no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You have got to come up here and tell us about you experience.
The redneck student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium.
The professor says, "Well tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."
The student replies, "Ghosts?????" I thought you said "Goats!!!"

Yosef_Malkovitch · 12-16-2000, 07:16 PM

A KSU grad use to drive around and when ever he would see a Chickenhawk walking down the street in his red and blue, he would swerve like he was going to hit him, then at the last second he would swerve away. One day he sees a priest walking down the street and he pulls over and ask him were he is going. The priest says he is going to St. Michaels Church, about 8 miles down the road. So deciding to do a good turn, he gives the priest a ride. Along the way he sees a Chickenhawk walking down the street, and out of habit swerved like he was going to hit him, then swerved back at the last second, but he heard a loud thud. He knew that he didn't hit the man, and looked in his mirror, but did not see the man anywhere. He suddenly remembered that he had the priest with him, and looked back in his van to see him. He said "sorry Father, I almost hit that Chickenhawk". The priest replied, "that's OK, I got him with the door"! :)

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

12-16-2000, 01:18 AM	#2
Stingie D Starter Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: new haven, CT, USA Casino cash: $10004900	A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks;"How many people here believe in ghosts? About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "Thats really good.I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "Thats fantastic. But let me ask you one further question."Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" 1 student raises his hand. The professor is asthonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back and says, "Son all the years I"ve been giving this lecture no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You have got to come up here and tell us about you experience. The redneck student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghosts?????" I thought you said "Goats!!!"
Posts: 84

12-16-2000, 07:16 PM	#3
Yosef_Malkovitch The Lurkiest Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Wichita, KS. Casino cash: $4505999	A KSU grad use to drive around and when ever he would see a Chickenhawk walking down the street in his red and blue, he would swerve like he was going to hit him, then at the last second he would swerve away. One day he sees a priest walking down the street and he pulls over and ask him were he is going. The priest says he is going to St. Michaels Church, about 8 miles down the road. So deciding to do a good turn, he gives the priest a ride. Along the way he sees a Chickenhawk walking down the street, and out of habit swerved like he was going to hit him, then swerved back at the last second, but he heard a loud thud. He knew that he didn't hit the man, and looked in his mirror, but did not see the man anywhere. He suddenly remembered that he had the priest with him, and looked back in his van to see him. He said "sorry Father, I almost hit that Chickenhawk". The priest replied, "that's OK, I got him with the door"! :) ------------------ WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28
Posts: 2,747

12-16-2000, 12:19 AM
gonzo88 Starter Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Topeka,Kansas,USA Casino cash: $10004900	After being inspired by all the cool posts which help relieve us from the heart-ache our beloved Chiefs caused us once again I've come up with one that may fly. I was inspired by a joke that I heard at work today. A drunk walking out of a bar and runs into a nun on his way home. He walks up to the nun and punches her in the mouth. The nun falls to the ground. As she tries to get back up the drunk kicks her. Down but not out, the nun tries to get up again but the drunk wallups her over the head with his beer bottle. The nun doesn't try to get up anymore. The drunk looks at her and sneers "not too tough tonight are ya batman!" Not very politicly correct but hey, I found it funny.
Posts: 268