Late night bullshit: Bring on the ****ing Broncos.

[Hammock Parties]

[listopencil]

As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up soon. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.

To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.

[Sorter]

Originally Posted by listopencil

As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up soon. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.

To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.

What if I'm that higher power?



And what if I'm a dick?

[Cephalic Trauma]

Peyton's face will look like The Joker and his gaping asshole will resemble the anus of Jenna Jameson after Hali and Houston are done with him.

[ReynardMuldrake]

Originally Posted by listopencil

As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up soon. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.

To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.

Is that the Onion?

[listopencil]

Originally Posted by ReynardMuldrake

Is that the Onion?

It's been passed around for years. I have no idea where it originated.

[Mr Luzcious]

Originally Posted by listopencil

It's been passed around for years. I have no idea where it originated.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/you...-team-f,10804/

[listopencil]

Originally Posted by Mr Luzcious

http://www.theonion.com/articles/you...-team-f,10804/

Hah, twelve years.

[RealSNR]

If you include the Week 5 teams we're about to face, the Donks' combined records of their opponents is actually 2 games WORSE.

Chiefs: 6-14
Donks: 4-16

So get this schedule garbage out of here. No team picks their schedule and can only play what's in front of them

[MagicHef]

Originally Posted by SNR

If you include the Week 5 teams we're about to face, the Donks' combined records of their opponents is actually 2 games WORSE.

Chiefs: 6-14
Donks: 4-16

So get this schedule garbage out of here. No team picks their schedule and can only play what's in front of them

You might want to check your math here.

Because it's wrong, is what I'm saying.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by MagicHef

You might want to check your math here.

Because it's wrong, is what I'm saying.

My math is just fine. I just got my records wrong, that's all. Thought the Cowboys were 1-3.

We're still one game ahead if you include that, which is just as meddlesome and irrelevant as you guys playing the Ravens instead of us playing the Cowboys.

The Donks have played exactly jack and shit thus far, so you guys have absolutely ZERO room to talk schedule smack.

[Mav]

Originally Posted by Cassel>Manning

The Ravens have a very good defense. Suggs and Doom are probably the best pass rushing duo in the league. The Raiders... they were leading the league in sacks coming into our game against them and they only managed to sack Peyton once.

Uh, **** out of here.

The Chiefs have the best PASS RUSHING DUO, and its really not even that close. Certainly not from Doom and Suggs.

Hell, at this point, CLEVELAND with Mingo, Kruger, Sheard might even be better pass rushers.

We get it. You love your and no one will ever have anything better.

You aren't the best at everything. And you keep thinking that its gonna be a walk in the park.

That's like me saying because the Chiefs played the Cowpies, or the Eagles that they have seen an equal offense to what the Broncos have.

That's a lie, and I know its a lie. I know that the Broncos are going to be tough to stop. But, as I have learned over the years.

A EVIL DEFENSE BEATS AN EVIL OFFENSE. Especially if that evil offense is all pass.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

[MagicHef]

Originally Posted by SNR

My math is just fine. I just got my records wrong, that's all. Thought the Cowboys were 1-3.

We're still one game ahead if you include that, which is just as meddlesome and irrelevant as you guys playing the Ravens instead of us playing the Cowboys.

The Donks have played exactly jack and shit thus far, so you guys have absolutely ZERO room to talk schedule smack.

Still wrong.

[MagicHef]

Originally Posted by SNR

My math is just fine. I just got my records wrong, that's all. Thought the Cowboys were 1-3.

We're still one game ahead if you include that, which is just as meddlesome and irrelevant as you guys playing the Ravens instead of us playing the Cowboys.

The Donks have played exactly jack and shit thus far, so you guys have absolutely ZERO room to talk schedule smack.

I'm intrigued by your method of adding a few numbers together. You've had two attempts, and have gotten it wrong twice. I'm also interested to know how getting the Cowboy's record wrong gave you a bad result relative to the two teams. They are on both Denver's and KC's schedule, so if you thought they were 1-3, you would have also taken one win away from KC's opponents. Yet, you did not.

Denver's opponents so far:

BAL (2 wins)
NYG (0 wins)
OAK (1 win)
PHI (1 win)
DAL (2 wins)

KC's opponents so far:

JAC (0 wins)
DAL (2 wins)
PHI (1 win)
NYG (0 wins)
TEN (3 wins)

Huh. When I add those numbers together, I get 6 wins for both schedules.

[The Bad Guy]

Originally Posted by SNR

If you include the Week 5 teams we're about to face, the Donks' combined records of their opponents is actually 2 games WORSE.

Chiefs: 6-14
Donks: 4-16

So get this schedule garbage out of here. No team picks their schedule and can only play what's in front of them

Yep and the Broncos have had 3 home games and only 2 on the road.