Home Discord Chat
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > Nzoner's Game Room
Reload this Page Funny Stuff Priceless ?
Register FAQDonate Members List Calendar

Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-19-2014, 08:49 PM  
ROYC75 ROYC75 is offline
Time For Your Wake Up Call !!!
 
ROYC75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Barn Yard
Casino cash: $5609400
Priceless ?
Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian.

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son, what happened last night?

Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean "? I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?

His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!

Broken Coffee Table: $239.99
Hot Breakfast: $4.20
Two Aspirins: $.38

Saying the right thing at the right time......

PRICELESS
Last edited by ROYC75; 03-19-2014 at 09:59 PM..
Posts: 36,999
ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 09:54 AM   #16
T-post Tom T-post Tom is offline
Threepeat!
 
T-post Tom's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Milk/Honey/Gazland
Casino cash: $4537293
Posts: 20,236
T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.T-post Tom is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 09:57 AM   #17
-King- -King- is offline
▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓
 
-King-'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Casino cash: $2405743
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
Wow, this doesn't sound like something Jack would do at all. I wonder what happened.
__________________
🏁
Posts: 63,894
-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.-King- is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 11:21 AM   #18
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
Stuff & Things
 
Gonzo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Yukon
Casino cash: $10126924
Jack Harry?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I loved the guy on top of the pole starting at around 3:15.
Posts: 21,498
Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 11:33 AM   #19
Sully Sully is offline
It Goes On
 
Sully's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lees Summit
Casino cash: $10026331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post
Jack Harry?

I think this was actually a joke Paul Harvey told to Carlin.
__________________
"And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car."
- Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 18,295
Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 12:27 PM   #20
ROYC75 ROYC75 is offline
Time For Your Wake Up Call !!!
 
ROYC75's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Barn Yard
Casino cash: $5609400
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lzen View Post
5 years ago?
Damn, it's a rerun.


I mean, TV does it?
__________________
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.

John Lennon
Posts: 36,999
ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ROYC75 has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 12:35 PM   #21
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Dayze's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $5109358
*inner monologue* "Jack never throws up at home"...
__________________
Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial.

RIP & Godspeed:
Saccoppo
Lonewolf Ed
Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,366
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 12:40 PM   #22
frankotank frankotank is offline
I like 'em mustard & biscuits
 
frankotank's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Hill
Casino cash: $10011076
I'm gonna do this tonight
__________________
A naked American man stole my balloons.
Posts: 6,787
frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.frankotank 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 12:50 PM   #23
Rausch Rausch is offline
Mindful Taoist German
 
Rausch's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $8021662
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayze View Post
*inner monologue* "Jack never throws up at home"...
"I am Jack's smirking revenge..."
__________________
Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 74,316
Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 04:25 PM   #24
digger digger is offline
Thread I will end you.......
 
digger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Kansas City, KS
Casino cash: $1742608
VARSITY
__________________

Patrick Mahomes II MVP 2X
Super Bowl MVP 3x
Travis Kelce TE GOAT
Posts: 8,853
digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.digger is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2014, 06:01 PM   #25
Sully Sully is offline
It Goes On
 
Sully's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lees Summit
Casino cash: $10026331
Wow.
First ever Airplane! to Fight Club quote pivot.
Tough maneuver, boys, but you pulled it off flawlessly.
__________________
"And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car."
- Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 18,295
Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.Sully threw an interception on a screen pass.
     Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2

« Previous Thread | > Nzoner's Game Room < | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:45 PM.

Contact Us - ChiefsPlanet - Archive - Top

This is a test for a client's site.
Fort Worth Texas Process Servers
Covering Arlington, Fort Worth, Grand Prairie and surrounding communities.
Tarrant County, Texas and Johnson County, Texas.
Advertise with us!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.