Things You've Done on Road Trips. - Page 2

**Rain Man** · 03-27-2005, 07:37 PM

Poll coming. Feel free to spin yarns.

Hammock Parties · 03-27-2005, 08:13 PM

When people talk about whizzing in bottles I am always reminded of the scene from dumb and dumber.

kcfanintitanhell · 03-27-2005, 08:18 PM

This is a strange and rather long-winded story, that happened back in the late 70's. I was working with a band that featured two Brits, called the Mark-Almond Band, and we were on the road opening for the Little River Band on their first American tour. On off days, we had our own show dates, and one was in New York at a place called the Bottom Line, in Greenwich Village. We checked into our hotel about two hours before soundcheck,and a couple of us decided to wander about for a bit before we had to get busy. We were staying at the Central Park Marriott (IIRC), which was, at the time, an older building. I only include this to set up what is coming.
I'd been told that Johhny Almond, the sax player, had some (ahem), deep left-field sexual tendencies, and I was about to find out firsthand.
After getting situated in our rooms, the keyboard player and I decided to see if Johnny wanted to go check out some of the sights. We went to his room, and the door was slightly ajar, so we just walked on in--big mistake!
We see a guy in a Batman outfit humping a blond woman from behind who was chained, buck naked, and partially suspended outside the window fifteen stories up (it was a window that you could roll open, hence the old building reference). I'll never forget the sight of him, startled when we barged in, of him pulling out and whirling around with that Batman cape, minus the tights (if you know what I mean).
We slowly backed out of the room, and spoke nothing of it again, except for torturing him with the Batman theme song ever sound check thereafter.http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/newre...e=1&p=2367950#

**Skip Towne** · 03-27-2005, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PastorMikH

Implored a semi driver to blow his horn. - Back when I was Kid I used to to that all the time.

Teased a hitchhiker by pulling over and then taking off again - Guilty. I was tempted a few months back to toss a peppermint to a guy holding up a sign that said "Hungry, need food" but stopped when I remembered I was in the church van.

Sang loudly either the Willie Nelson classic “On the Road Again” or Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild” - Yep.

Stopped to view a roadside historical marker or scenic pulloff - I've noticed that the older I get, the more I want to do that.

Talked to another traveler at a gas pump - That's not too uncommon for me to do.

Urinated in a bottle or other receptacle in your vehicle. - yep. Got a kidney stone the night after we were voted in at the church before this one. Our HMO was in Missouri so going to the Dr in Kansas wasn't going to happen if I could help it. I handed the keys to the wife and we started accross Kansas. I was having to whiz about every 5 minutes so I picked up an empty soda bottle and told her to keep driving. Somewhere about half-way accross the state I passed the stone. Man that hurt!

Sometimes, I just lose track of the fact you are a man of the cloth while reading your posts. I have to scroll back up to make sure. I hope I never met you in person, you might convert me.

PastorMikH · 03-27-2005, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

Sometimes, I just lose track of the fact you are a man of the cloth while reading your posts. I have to scroll back up to make sure. I hope I never met you in person, you might convert me.

Speaking of which, I have to go to Columbia next month. Haven't made my mind up on whether to go through Tulsa to Springfield or KC. Tulsa means that I spend all my turnpike $ in my home state, KC means interstate the entire way.

Mr. Laz · 03-27-2005, 08:36 PM

where are the ...

"pissed in the radiator because the car was overheating"

or

"had sex on the hood of the car by the side of the road"

or

"ate mustard and dorito's sandwiches because all the food was gone"

.... options?

**luv** · 03-27-2005, 08:48 PM

You left out being the D.D. after a Chiefs game and driving all the way back to Springfield with two drunk people in the cab of the truck with you. Talk about an experience!!

Mr. Laz · 03-27-2005, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Once on the way to Spring Break I pissed in a soda bottle, put the cap back on, and tossed it out the window.

It hit the ground, the cap busted off, and urine sprayed all over the car behind us. That car contained some of my fraternity brothers, so I laughed my ass off. I might've felt bad if it was just some random assholes.

Nah, probably not.

not a road trip, but a few of us refilled a Miller's beer bottle at a party once. Then stuck it in the snow to cool it off.

challenge this chick to a chugging contest with the "special" beer.

needless to say she won the chugging contest cause we were all rolling on the ground laughing are asses off.

**luv** · 03-27-2005, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

not a road trip, but a few of us refilled a Miller's beer bottle at a party once. Then stuck it in the snow to cool it off.

challenge this chick to a chugging contest with the "special" beer.

needless to say she won the chugging contest cause we were all rolling on the ground laughing are asses off.

That is just sooooo wrong!! But also sooo funny!!!

kc rush · 03-27-2005, 09:53 PM

I've never slowed down for a hitch hiker, but I have driven by and given them a thumbs up.

Not on the list was that I saw some guy in a car next to me getting a hummer while driving. I was a passenger in a van and we passed this guy and saw what was going on, so we slowed down and opened the side sliding door and all of the guys in the back waved, gave obscene gestures, gave the thumbs up, and so on. The guy just smiled at us with a big doofy smile.

**CosmicPal** · 03-27-2005, 10:25 PM

When I was still living in KC, I was out one night with an old buddy of mine. He had a penchant for making annual trips to Vegas. The guy couldn't play poker worth sh*t, but he loved to go to Vegas.

Anyways, so the both of us are hammered and it's nearing closing time. He saunters over to me and says, "VEGAS!!" I asked him how the hell he thinks we're going to get to Vegas when it's 2AM in KC. "ROAD TRIPPIN'"

I repeatedly refused to drive to Vegas when the both of us were clearly in no condition to be driving. He, of course, insisted, and suggested we switch the driving on the way. So, as drunk as I was, I stupidly agreed to make a spontaneous road trip to Vegas and suggested I sleep first and that he wake me up when he starts to get drowsy.

About an hour and a half later I wake up- my face next to the window, resting on my shoulder when I see a road sign saying "Columbia, Missouri, 150 miles" or something like that. I go back to sleep when, a few minutes later, I shot up and shouted at my buddy, "Where the ***** are you going?"
"We're going to Vegas, baby! Whoohoo!"
"Bullsh*t you moron! We're going EAST! We're going EAST you dumbazz- Vegas is WEST!"
My friend looked stunned for a few moments. "Oh sh*t. I geuss you better drive."

We ended up pulling over in the first town and getting a motel for the night.

Delano · 03-27-2005, 10:45 PM

Others:

Playing those driving/drinking games (with a d.d.) where you take a shot if you get passed by another vehicle. It's really cool if the van you are riding in tops out at 70 and the speed limit is 75.

Pissing out the back side of a van with those windows that just pop out at the bottom. Didn't really piss out the bottom, just banked the stream off the window. I was afraid the damn window would swing shut on a bump, or someone would shut it.

Stopping on a minimum maintanence road in the middle of ****ing nowhere to take a piss. Everyone piles out to fertilize the ground with liver-filtered beer. Six guys are drunk out of seven, and get back in first. The sober driver gets back in last and can't find the only keys that fit the van. It's freezing out and there are no keys to be found.

That was all on a roadtrip to a strip club for a friend's brother's 18th birthday. Of course we never did see naked chicks that night.

View Poll Results: Things You've Done on Road Trips (Check all that apply.)
Been flashed by someone in another vehicle.	10	27.78%
Bought something kitschy at a truck stop (excluding truck stop hookers)	10	27.78%
Checked into a hotel using a fake name.	5	13.89%
Driven for 12 or more hours in one day (not including being a passenger)	27	75.00%
Flirted with a truck stop waitress or roadside café waitress	6	16.67%
Implored a semi driver to blow his horn.	25	69.44%
Listened to some hard-core weird radio zealot because there was no other radio station.	16	44.44%
Looked at the roadside scenery and tracked your route if you were a really fast runner.	7	19.44%
Picked up a hitchhiker.	9	25.00%
Killed a hitchhiker.	3	8.33%
Picked up more than one hitchhiker at once	1	2.78%
Teased a hitchhiker by pulling over and then taking off again	3	8.33%
Picked up a truck stop hooker.	1	2.78%
Killed a truck stop hooker.	1	2.78%
Negotiated with a truck stop hooker with no intent of buying.	1	2.78%
Sang loudly either the Willie Nelson classic “On the Road Again” or Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild”	19	52.78%
Slept in your vehicle in a parking lot or rest area	25	69.44%
Slept in your vehicle on the side of the road.	14	38.89%
Stopped to view a roadside historical marker or scenic pulloff	26	72.22%
Taken your photo under a road sign or highway sign.	14	38.89%
Talked to another traveler at a gas pump	25	69.44%
Urinated in a bottle or other receptacle in your vehicle.	15	41.67%
Waved seductively at, or otherwise flirted with, someone in another car.	18	50.00%
I have done none of these things.	0	0%
Ah've nevah left this heah county.	0	0%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 36. You may not vote on this poll

03-27-2005, 07:37 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3078491 VARSITY	Things You've Done on Road Trips. Poll coming. Feel free to spin yarns.
Posts: 141,621

03-27-2005, 08:13 PM	#16
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4470478	When people talk about whizzing in bottles I am always reminded of the scene from dumb and dumber. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 278,550

03-27-2005, 08:18 PM	#17
kcfanintitanhell turd polisher Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Location, Location!!! Casino cash: $9126780	This is a strange and rather long-winded story, that happened back in the late 70's. I was working with a band that featured two Brits, called the Mark-Almond Band, and we were on the road opening for the Little River Band on their first American tour. On off days, we had our own show dates, and one was in New York at a place called the Bottom Line, in Greenwich Village. We checked into our hotel about two hours before soundcheck,and a couple of us decided to wander about for a bit before we had to get busy. We were staying at the Central Park Marriott (IIRC), which was, at the time, an older building. I only include this to set up what is coming. I'd been told that Johhny Almond, the sax player, had some (ahem), deep left-field sexual tendencies, and I was about to find out firsthand. After getting situated in our rooms, the keyboard player and I decided to see if Johnny wanted to go check out some of the sights. We went to his room, and the door was slightly ajar, so we just walked on in--big mistake! We see a guy in a Batman outfit humping a blond woman from behind who was chained, buck naked, and partially suspended outside the window fifteen stories up (it was a window that you could roll open, hence the old building reference). I'll never forget the sight of him, startled when we barged in, of him pulling out and whirling around with that Batman cape, minus the tights (if you know what I mean). We slowly backed out of the room, and spoke nothing of it again, except for torturing him with the Batman theme song ever sound check thereafter.http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/newre...e=1&p=2367950# __________________ I do not think country was intended to be sung consistently in tune.
Posts: 1,180

03-27-2005, 08:36 PM	#20
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $11047037	where are the ... "pissed in the radiator because the car was overheating" or "had sex on the hood of the car by the side of the road" or "ate mustard and dorito's sandwiches because all the food was gone" .... options? __________________ Last edited by Mr. Laz; 03-27-2005 at 08:50 PM..
Posts: 95,626

03-27-2005, 08:48 PM	#21
luv MY LITTLE #15 Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $6109600	You left out being the D.D. after a Chiefs game and driving all the way back to Springfield with two drunk people in the cab of the truck with you. Talk about an experience!!
Posts: 63,445

03-27-2005, 09:53 PM	#24
kc rush Blah Blah Blah Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: In front of the computer. Casino cash: $3939559	I've never slowed down for a hitch hiker, but I have driven by and given them a thumbs up. Not on the list was that I saw some guy in a car next to me getting a hummer while driving. I was a passenger in a van and we passed this guy and saw what was going on, so we slowed down and opened the side sliding door and all of the guys in the back waved, gave obscene gestures, gave the thumbs up, and so on. The guy just smiled at us with a big doofy smile.
Posts: 12,557

03-27-2005, 10:25 PM	#25
CosmicPal Learn it. Know it. Live it. Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Casino cash: $10004900	When I was still living in KC, I was out one night with an old buddy of mine. He had a penchant for making annual trips to Vegas. The guy couldn't play poker worth sht, but he loved to go to Vegas. Anyways, so the both of us are hammered and it's nearing closing time. He saunters over to me and says, "VEGAS!!" I asked him how the hell he thinks we're going to get to Vegas when it's 2AM in KC. "ROAD TRIPPIN'" I repeatedly refused to drive to Vegas when the both of us were clearly in no condition to be driving. He, of course, insisted, and suggested we switch the driving on the way. So, as drunk as I was, I stupidly agreed to make a spontaneous road trip to Vegas and suggested I sleep first and that he wake me up when he starts to get drowsy. About an hour and a half later I wake up- my face next to the window, resting on my shoulder when I see a road sign saying "Columbia, Missouri, 150 miles" or something like that. I go back to sleep when, a few minutes later, I shot up and shouted at my buddy, "Where the **** are you going?" "We're going to Vegas, baby! Whoohoo!" "Bullsht you moron! We're going EAST! We're going EAST you dumbazz- Vegas is WEST!" My friend looked stunned for a few moments. "Oh sht. I geuss you better drive." We ended up pulling over in the first town and getting a motel for the night. __________________ - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - Four blessings upon my fellow planeteers: Older whiskey, younger women, faster horses, and more money.
Posts: 10,840

03-27-2005, 10:45 PM	#26
Delano [b]Supporter[/b] Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A Hypnagogic Landscape Casino cash: $9045015	Others: Playing those driving/drinking games (with a d.d.) where you take a shot if you get passed by another vehicle. It's really cool if the van you are riding in tops out at 70 and the speed limit is 75. Pissing out the back side of a van with those windows that just pop out at the bottom. Didn't really piss out the bottom, just banked the stream off the window. I was afraid the damn window would swing shut on a bump, or someone would shut it. Stopping on a minimum maintanence road in the middle of ****ing nowhere to take a piss. Everyone piles out to fertilize the ground with liver-filtered beer. Six guys are drunk out of seven, and get back in first. The sober driver gets back in last and can't find the only keys that fit the van. It's freezing out and there are no keys to be found. That was all on a roadtrip to a strip club for a friend's brother's 18th birthday. Of course we never did see naked chicks that night. __________________ A million CPilgrims face Mecca. Think of the power behind that fact. All logging in now. And bending. And praying. ChiefsPlanet is the angle at which realities meet. - Don DeLillo
Posts: 12,314