Whoever invented mosquitoes should be shot.

[Rain Man]

That's right. If you believe in a higher being, and that being created mosquitoes, they should be shot. Assuming of course that they can't just turn the bullet into a giant mosquito and send it back against the shooter.

I was working at my house this morning, and this big honking mosquito just kept buzzing me and buzzing me, you know, like when it comes up right to your ear and mocks you with that high-pitched whine that just dares you to try to kill it?

I can't kill it and I can't kill it, and at one point I see it land on my arm, and every time I see it, I'm a microsecond too slow, and it gets away.

After a half-hour of enduring this off and on, I sight my great white mosquito, buzzing around a little glass-top table next to me. The mosquito is enormous, and you can see broken-off harpoons in its thorax from the other people who have done battle with it. Our eyes lock, two of mine against a few hundred of those compound eyes. And then it made the fatal mistake.

It buzzed underneath some papers that were sitting atop a little sculpture and thus hanging over the top of the table. It let me know its location when it couldn't see me, stupidly believing that the paper was a rock or scissors or something else solid.

WHAMMO! Paper covers mosquito. I slammed my palm down, scanned for an escaping insect, and then slowly, ever so slowly, raised up the paper.

It was dead. Smashed to smithereens, it's huge body crushed and legs akimbo. And it was lying in a pool of ... of ... MY OWN BLOOD! MY BLOOD!

That's just not right. You shouldn't steal another creature's own blood, and this mosquito had enough to get a free pizza from a plasma bank. I felt no remorse when I saw that. That mosquito was stealing the very life essence from my body. It was her or me. One of us had to go.

However, that's not quite the end of the story. I took my shower and started to get dressed, and my finger felt funny. I looked down, and the main joint on my right ring finger has the biggest mosquito bite I've seen in years. It's swollen to double the size of a BB right on top of the joint.

The philosophers are right. There are no winners in war.

[Rain Man]

I'm sure I've got it. This mosquito was a thug. I'm probably going to lose my finger at a minimum.

[KCFalcon59]

You're just lucky it wasn't a gang of mosquitos.

[Donger]

Heh. One of the things I like about Colorado is the fact that I've only gotten a few mosquito bites since moving out here in 1995.

I'm hyper-allergic to the bites, so it was a ton of fun growing up in KC. The worst bite was, well, on my Donger.

[teedubya]

Imagine if mosquitos could form plattoons and attack squadrons. We are lucky there are no General Mosquitos coordinating assaults on Rain man.

[Lzen]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm sure I've got it. This mosquito was a thug. I'm probably going to lose my finger at a minimum.

You should probably just go ahead and cut off that finger now.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Donger

Heh. One of the things I like about Colorado is the fact that I've only gotten a few mosquito bites since moving out here in 1995.

Yeah, I'm not used to having to deal with them any more. I like living in a no-bug climate.

[Sam]

Interesting. I was visiting a friend at her lake lot this last weekend and I saw this wooden object in one of the trees on the property. When I asked what it was she told me that it was a 'bat house'. I said, 'huh?' She proceeded to tell me about how bats eat mosquitoes and so help to reduce their population in the areas where they live. Then she offered up and extra one she had just laying around for me to take home.

You can even buy them off the net or build your own.

More on the
importance of bat houses

[Rain Man]

I wonder if my cats would mind having a pet bat flying around the house.

Does bat sonar interfere with cell phones or anything?

[Soupnazi]

Don't ever move to wisconsin or minnesota then. Damn mosquitos are like birds up there.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Sam

Interesting. I was visiting a friend at her lake lot this last weekend and I saw this wooden object in one of the trees on the property. When I asked what it was she told me that it was a 'bat house'. I said, 'huh?' She proceeded to tell me about how bats eat mosquitoes and so help to reduce their population in the areas where they live. Then she offered up and extra one she had just laying around for me to take home.

You can even buy them off the net or build your own.

More on the
importance of bat houses

But how do you get the bats to notice that there's new property on the market? Advertise in the local paper or what? "Bat House -- Free!!" ?

[Sam]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

But how do you get the bats to notice that there's new property on the market? Advertise in the local paper or what? "Bat House -- Free!!" ?

Good question! My friend wrote 'Bat House' on hers.

She did tell me that it often takes about 2 years before the bats 'move in'.

[Eye Patch]

You folks do know that only “female” mosquitoes suck blood. The males are vegetarian.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Sam

Good question! My friend wrote 'Bat House' on hers.

She did tell me that it often takes about 2 years before the bats 'move in'.

This raises the critical question of whether bats can read. I'm dubious. Maybe the thing could be set up with some kind of supersonic "I'm a horny hot chick bat and I'm looking for love" automated signal to bring in the local stud bats. They may end up confused and engaging in homosexual acts (NTTAWWT), but that's really their problem. As long as they get hungry every once in a while...

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Eye Patch

You folks do know that only “female” mosquitoes suck blood. The males are vegetarian.

Right. Hence:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

That's just not right. You shouldn't steal another creature's own blood, and this mosquito had enough to get a free pizza from a plasma bank. I felt no remorse when I saw that. That mosquito was stealing the very life essence from my body. It was her or me. One of us had to go.