I am a GOOD American

I am your best friend. I am a GOOD American.

I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks. I believe that the money I make belongs to me and my family, but I recognize that it is to my benefit if as many people as possible get fed, clothed, and get a good education, so I don’t mind having to pay taxes. I recognize that I live in a society that makes it possible for me to live so nicely, and I’m ok with giving back to that society.

I am in touch with my feelings. I know who I am. I’m not afraid of facing the truth, even when it is ugly. I don’t believe that anyone has ever died because of something that Ozzy Osbourne sang, though I recognize that children are impressionable, so I do my best to be a good role model for those who might look for me to be one. I don’t believe that owning a gun makes you a killer, though I have no problem with gun control. I think licensing handguns is a good idea that would hurt nobody but the lazy, and that if you think that licensing is the first step to confiscation, then you really don’t know what America is all about. Don’t tread on me with your ignorance.

I don’t think that being a minority makes you noble or victimized, but I recognize that this country was built in large part by slaves who paid the way for a lot of the rich families of this country. Like I said before, I’m not afraid of facing the truth, even when it is ugly. I realize that this land was stolen from the Indians who lived on it before us. I think it’s a shame when people marginalize the sacrifices that the American Indians gave up for this great country.

I believe that graduating from college is the best thing you can do for yourself, and I don’t care how you pay for it. I believe that anyone who really wants to graduate from college can… Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Don’t come crying to me because you trapped yourself in a factory job and bought a really cool car before you put a serious investment in yourself. But don’t worry, I pay taxes to help people like you if you did. And I’m more than happy to do so, sitting in my office with a view, and diplomas on the wall.

I believe that my daughter is just as smart as your son. She could probably kick his *** too, if she put her mind to it. And it will be over my dead body that you deny her of the same opportunities that your son should enjoy. This is America, and females are Americans too.

I am happy to see that President Bush is doing his weekly addresses in both English and Spanish. America is the land of the diverse, and if you can’t handle that, then you are in the wrong place. I'm against the weekly presidential radio address being in ebonics though.

I am my own hero. I don’t need to look to anyone but my God, myself, and my family for strength. I like watching television, but I’m not going to make fictional characters my heroes. You can pretend that you’re John Wayne if you want. My little son thinks that he’s a cowboy too. When he gets old enough, he’ll realize that there is no such thing as a cowboy anymore… Just farmers, and God bless them all.

I believe that every vote should count, and I’m not fooled by the results of this last election. I’ll accept it, but I believe the next time we should actually VOTE the president in. It was a tough situation, and I can see both sides. I’m not going to pretend that one side or the other was wrong or right, but I will say that the Supreme Court shouldn’t have acted so visibly biased. The solutions are out there if you bother to look for them in every instance, including this one.

You can be proud of yourself for being a BAD American if that’s what you are. I’ll choose to be proud of being a GOOD American, because that’s what I am.

[Bob Dole]

If you're a good American, why do you choose a handle that's more appropriate for a Latino restroom?

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

[Frazod]

Oh boy. Where should I start with this one.

I don't mind paying reasonable taxes. This, of course, doesn't include my money going to support a bunch of lazy welfare scumbags who do nothing to improve their own lives yet blame me for keeping them down. I started my adult life by being kicked out of the house with no money. No one helped me do anything. I don't feel inclined to funnel my hard earned dollars to a bunch of slackers.

And if you don't think gun control freaks want to ultimately take away all of our guns, then you don't know what liberal control freaks are all about. They'll only be satisfied when criminals and the government have guns.

I was personally appalled that Bush gave his address in a foreign language - it the first thing he's done that has really p!ssed me off. ENGLISH is the spoken language of this country, and if you don't speak it, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG PLACE. If you don't know the language, learn it. If you're too ignorant to learn it, either get the fuck out or have fun cleaning toilets for the rest of your life, because that's what you deserve. If I were inclined to move to France, I'd learn French. Of course, I'm not a moron. We should stop coddling these jerk-offs right now.

My ancestors fought for, bled for, and built this country FROM DAY ONE. They deserve a bit more respect, IMO, than some ignorant illegal alien who just crawled out of the Rio Grande.

And if you're too fucking stupid to punch a hole in a ballot card, then your vote should not count. Someone this horridly stupid should not be making decisions for themselves, let alone wielding the power of a vote. And I'm really sick of sore-loserman types whining about it. If you want to talk about true outrage at the polls, I have a formula for you - Democrats + Mafia + Chicago = President John F. Kennedy.

And your views don't make you good - they just make you very dangerous to our way of life.

[LapDog]

sic 'em Fraz!

LapDog
oh wait...

[old_geezer]

Refresh my memory if I'm wrong (and I'm sure you will) but if it wasn't for the Florida Supreme Court throwing out every decision made by a lower court judge, Gore would have never made it to the US Supreme Court to have his laughable case thrown out.
It was the Florida Supreme Court (made up almost entirely of Democrats) that voided every decision made by Florida judges. It took the US Supreme Court to right the partisanship of that non-partisan group.

Sounds like a lot of whiny people who America has passed them by.

The 1950's ended in 1960, fellas.

[Frazod]

I'm aware that the 50's ended in the 60's, and it's a damn shame. Pretty much everything that's wrong with this country has its roots in the '60s, from Vietnam to Johnson's Great Welfare State-err... I mean, Great Society. I personally long for the days when drugs and crime weren't rampant, when children were raised with discipline, when people took responsibility for themselves and their actions, when people took pride in their country, when insignificant foreign holidays were treated as such, when the media reported the news instead of twisting it, and when it wasn't a crime against the universe to be an English-speaking white man.

[Michael Michigan]

I think liberals who don't have the creativity to author their own humor piece are dumb enough to believe John Wayne was a television character. John Wayne was an actor.

He played different roles (like cowboys) in movies and on TV.

I believe someone who does not know me, but claims to be my best friend is delusional.

I believe someone whose most crowning achievement is sitting in an office with a view and diplomas on the wall has much to learn.

I believe someone who uses a moniker titled after a lousy fast food chain is more than likely lying about their diplomas.

I believe that someone who has to make a feeble attempt at answering such a humor piece by dubbing themselves in a positive light (I.E. "good American) probably has self-esteem problems.

[Rick Stephens]

Stinko De Taco!

[Clint in Wichita]

I believe that people who were patting each other on the back in the "Bad American" thread need to go back to it.

[Frazod]

Damn, Rick, I thought I was the only one who called it that.

I live in a predominantly hispanic neighborhood. It seems like every friggin car I've seen today is draped with Mexican flags. I guess they're all trying to say "I come from the land of abject poverity, corruption and death squads, and DAMN I'M PROUD OF IT!" Of course, I don't know what they're really saying, since I don't feel it's necessary to learn a foreign language, since I live in THE HEARTLAND OF MY OWN fuckING COUNTRY.

Were I forced to leave my country for these reasons, I just might embrace the new place, since the old one obviously sucks. I might try to learn the language, blend in with the people already there, and show some respect to their culture and heritage.

Of course, we can't have any of that, can we?

Moving to the suburbs in less than a month. June 1 can't come soon enough.

[Rick Stephens]

Frazod,

Living in Kalifornia the "Illegal Immigrant" state, you don't know if your in the United States or Mexico. There is their gang graffiti everwhere. If they want to spray paint this stuff everywhere why don 't they spray it on their own house. Not on other people's or public property.

I went into a Burger King and ordered a Whopper with no mayo on it. The first one I got had a ton on it, took it back and the second one had it on it also, took it back and got a third one also had mayo on it. Finally told them to get the manager as I was tired of dealing with someone who could understand the English language. If they want to work in a public place they should learn our language.

Here they have no respect for the American flag but expect you to respect the Mexican flag. What a joke.

Life is not so great in The People's Republic of Kalifornia.

[Clint in Wichita]

Then you should move.

If you aren't willing to do, how bad could it be?

[LapDog]

Good idea.

Let's all move from California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas to Oregon, Utah, Nevada, and Colorado. Then all the Mexicans can just take over California, et. al. and annex them into Mexico.

Then, 20 years from now, when they are all over Oregon, Utah, Nevada, and Colorado, we could all move to Washington, Idaho, Wyoming, and Nebraska. And so on.

Why don't we all just move to Canada now and get it over with?

We should find a way to solve the issue now, not just move away from it.

LapDog
Think about it

[kcfanintitanhell]

How about this?

Once this country comes to the inevitable conclusion that the war on drugs is irrevocably lost, let's just employ all those out-of-work DEA agents as border guards along the Rio Grande!